When the winter speaks

WHEN WINTER SPEAKS

It’s 9:50 am on 14th of September, 2015, in a laboratory somewhere in the States, a new phenomenon is detected. It’s a short, yet clear signal of something distant and catastrophic, something that’s literally a ripple in the fabric of space and time. Scientists termed this signal caused by the fatal dance of two merging black holes as ‘gravitational waves’. These waves are not just caused by the collision of black holes, but also by the collision of other astronomical bodies such as the neutron stars and so on. The scale of these events is unfathomable by the creatures living on a planet named ‘Earth’, in some random galaxy called the Milky Way. But this doesn’t mean that Earth is free of activity, in fact, it’s the opposite; Earth is juvenile and insatiable. 

Around 40-50 million years ago, the Indian subcontinent raced into the Eurasian tectonic plate and conceived a majestic mountain range. This mountain range hosted hundreds of glaciers and valleys with diverse flora and fauna. Eventually it even became home to human civilisations who fondly called it the ‘himalayas’ or ‘the abode of snow’. These mountains are deeply intertwined with the hindu mythology, making them both mystical and fascinating. But among the popular tales are some which are known by little to none. Never told or long forgotten, these stories still echo through the chambers of Himalayas like they’re the ripples in the fabric of space and time. One such story is that of a fairy who fell on Earth and lost her ability to go back to the heavens. The contents of her banishment are unknown, which makes one wonder what could she have done? The place where she first landed was named after her, the ‘Pari Tibba’ or the hill of the fairy. When the fairy took her first gracious steps on Earth, no one could have known how long she would end up staying. The fairy built herself a little cottage among the dense forests on the hill, hidden from any outside contact. At first it was going all fine, after all she’s a divine creation of the heavens above. But soon the fairy’s heart started to ache. And after a while it had gotten so bad that she had to rip it out to check if it had gotten misplaced instead. 

“Poor little fairy, she had no clue what she was suffering from were the symptoms of desolation and bitter loneliness.”

It was around this time when the fairy started to stare into thin air, as if trying to hold onto something. Her memories of the glory days, alongside all hopes, were disseminating into nothingness. As if they were made out of thin frames, going further in distance with every passing second. It wasn’t long before the fairy forgot her name; there was no one to call her by it anymore. Any reasons she had, or any hopes she had held onto for her return, meant nothing no more. She was completely barren, as if struck by a strong lightning bolt. The fairy would often look at her reflections in puddles of water, hoping that something would at least change about her, or the situation; a merest of signs hinting towards a forbidden homecoming. But nothing about her appearance had changed; not even by the smallest of margins. She still looked otherworldly, almost as though she had just descended on Earth to enchant everyone.

“She was immortal; a deity who is forever young.”

When she was new to ‘Pari Tibba’, she was ecstatic to find that her favourite berries grew there too. She enjoyed her little treats until she realised her immortality. Soon she never touched any food or water, didn't take care of her appearance and gave up on all things material. To her it was the most natural response, after all there was nothing to lose and she was going to live regardless. But it was still hard for her to adjust to the ever changing scenery around her. Seasons came and went in a haste. In heavens that was never the case because for the heavenly creatures time went very slow in comparison to human perception. So it becomes obvious to deduce that these briskly changing sceneries of life and death, coupled with her inability to leave the hill, were enough to drive her insane. 

She had completely resigned to her cottage; ignorant of the world until she heard the cries of a baby. She initially didn't heed to it, but soon it became unbearable. In a fit of rage she stomped down to the foot of the hill. Nothing on Earth would have prepared her for what was in front of her. It's a heavenly child. Instinctively, she knew. A moment of serendipity washed over her; of grace and divine mercy. Her immortal heart started to beat fast, now knew how to get back. She looked at the sky with a crazed look in her eyes. “Thank you. Thank you.” Slipped from the tip of her tongue… 

The fairy decided to put everything aside and make the baby her first priority. She tended to his every need- got him up early, bathed him, fed him, stopped him from crying and then helped him fall asleep. It was for the first time that the fairy was not alone and had someone to talk to, almost as if language had finally flown back home. As soon as the child learned how to walk, he started to scamper around the hill, often getting himself soiled but never sick. He was, in fact, too healthy according to the fairy. But it was never a problem because to the fairy it just confirmed that he was truly divine. And that never failed to make her happy. She knew in her heart that it was wrong and selfish to think so, especially for a celestial being such as herself, but she had long given up the ways of the heavens anyway. 

Everywhere the child went, the fairy tried to follow him. The child was growing up incredibly bright, usually a child’s first word is either “mama” or “papa” but his first words were ordered in a perfect sensible sentence, “what do I call you?” He asked with a glint in his little eyes. The fairy took some time to respond and said “I am….just call me ‘Pari’” as she patted his head and gave him a warm smile. The child smiled back but it was obvious that he wasn’t fully satisfied with her response. In an inquisitive fashion, he continued asking “ but who am I then? Am I also Pari?” The fairy let out a short laugh and said, “No no my dear, you’re Mahi”. Mahi is one of the many names of a hindu goddess by the name of Saraswati, and was feminine by nature, but the reason why she chose this name was because it also meant ‘Earth’ and at that moment the child was covered almost entirely in mud. 

Smiling stupidly through his soil covered teeth. 

Seasons came and went in a haste. And soon there was a change, somewhere deep within the valves of her heart as she found what can only be called love. The child who was named after Earth, was of heaven after all. A sun whose innocence shone through her cloudy skies, she had now forgotten the “why’s”. 

In many ways it wasn’t just him growing up, but also her. Though there was still no ounce of physical change, her purpose and way of looking at things had completely changed. She no longer cared about their return, she was just happy to have him. But every once in a while a zephyr would blow past her, am I the one stopping him from leaving? A somber look would immediately loom over her face, but she would snap out of it when the child would unknowingly reassure her. Hug her. 

Seasons came and went in a haste. And what she had forebode happened anyway. 

All the small animals on the hill swiftly gathered on the cliff of Pari Tibba, making sure they were as close as possible, so as to not miss a word of what was to be said. Pari and Mahi, also instinctively alert, walked through the crowd with their eyes glued to the wryly illuminated sky. Finally what she had always hoped for was coming to life. It was hard for her to believe that this day had finally come; it’s too good to be true she thought. Smiling ear to ear, she wrapped Mahi in her arms to shield his eyes from the awful brightness. 

It didn’t take long before the suspense in the air was subdued by a deep voice that came from all directions, not just the above. But what should have been a divine sign, instilled nothing but despair. The voice that reverberated throughout the Himalayas, demanded just one thing. Deliver unto us the celestial child ere the first beam of twilight doth grace the firmament. Simply speaking, they wanted him to go back to where he truly belonged. Nothing more or less; not a mention of the forgotten fairy who also lived on the same hill. The fairy heard her immortal heart break from the shock. This hadn’t even happened when she was so lonely and in pain that she had to physically rip her heart out to check. All the animals of Pari Tibba gathered around to comfort her, but she was beyond blinded by her grief. The Himalayas which were filled by the divine decree minutes ago, were now filled by her screeches and cries. No one could have guessed that such pitiful, and almost animalistic sounds were made by a once graceful fairy. But what were all the grace and talks of immortality worth for, if she was to be alone again? She just couldn’t bear the thought of it.

 Mahi was dumbfounded at first by everything that was happening around him, but as he had learned to accept that seasons come and go in a haste, he was able to quickly grasp the situation. But despite that he couldn’t help his tears after seeing Pari in such a state, after all his size still made him comparable to an average ten year old. It took all the strength within him to stop crying and comfort Pari instead. But Pari had already lost track of the world around her, and so she wailed as if her world were to end before tomorrow. After hours of continued screaming and crying, animals started leaving one by one. But Mahi stayed by her side and held her tightly without wavering once. Despite Pari’s deteriorating state, he remained calm and exclaimed in his usual bubbly voice “ The sun is about to set in a little while, it’s okay, look at how pretty it is!” It was then that Pari had finally sensed something. After hours of being stuck in a whirlpool of emotions and inundating memories of her time in both the heavens and with him, she realised that she didn’t have much time to grieve. What mattered was that she was running out of time and had to find a way to make him stay behind. As foolish as it may be, it didn’t matter all of a sudden. He must not leave me.

Frantically she started touching his face and hurriedly said, “ We have to hide. We cannot run away; we have to hide.” But Mahi just smiled back as he normally would and gave her a warm hug. He said, “ I thought you would never speak to me.” 

“That is not possible.” 

“But Mumma I really have to go if I want to find a way to stay with you.”

“W-wait!”

“What?”

“What did you just say?”

“Huh”

“You called me M-Mumma! Who taught you that word?”

“Because you’re my Mumma.”

“I asked you something!”

“I just know. Just how I know that I have to leave now.” 

As they were going back and forth, they failed to realise that the first light of dusk had already hit Earth. The horizon split upon, like a void about to absorb everything. A beautiful and majestic Vimana descended from the sky, in it was an army of otherworldly beings. Their bodies were lustrous and adorned with exquisite fabrics and jewellery. They looked nothing like Pari and Mahi who were caught up in their despair not long ago. These celestial beings spoke not a word, but that deep voice returned from all directions as soon as they were in close proximity to the hill. Come hither with us, O Child. Pari was squeezing him tightly, as if trying to hide from them. But Mahi’s expression was placid; he calmly let himself loose and looked into her eyes. As if staring into all of the universe combined. He held her face as she would hold his, and whispered “ I’ll come back by the next dusk. Wait for me and don’t cry, Mumma I’ll see you in no time. If you keep crying like this then I’ll also cry with you.”

In a flash, all was gone. Mahi was gone.

Darkness that had dissipated temporarily, came back even stronger. Her memories of what had just happened became a blur, she had even forgotten Mahi’s words. It didn’t matter now, Mahi was truly gone. She was alone again. All her desires to go back home, be together with Mahi forever and so on, had vanished at once. She was left with nothing, just utter barren. Smothered by her cruel reality, she had no tears left to cry and a heavy fog of numbness took over her brain. She didn’t know why she had to suffer like this. Just what could she have done so cruel as to have her child taken away from her?

The tumultuous state of her emotions, masked by her soulless eyes, stirred the weather of Pari Tibba. Pari never knew that her powers went so far, but turns out that she herself was the hill. The sky above raged as if about to burst; it rained as much as a generational flood. Most of the flora in the region got damaged, as were the animals who got hurt and displaced. But nothing could tame a broken heart and the monstrous storms continued for hours. But apart from the flora and fauna, there were others who were hurt as well. You see, by this millennium humans had settled in the nearby regions, with their footsteps progressively going deeper and deeper into the vegetation. A man and a woman strayed from their usual route and wandered into the arms of Pari Tibba. But soon they got trapped inside its dense green, unable to leave. All the noise from the day’s events confused and scared them, so they hid under the shelter which was once built by Mahi for fun. The couple kept praying as they laid low, but to no avail. A powerful lightning strike fell directly at the spot, and the two perished instantaneously. The lightning strike was so strong that it not only killed the poor persons but also shook the ground it hit. This made Pari regain her consciousness and realise the gravity of her actions. She was faced with the reality that no matter how bad her pain was, it was no reason to hurt those around her. Not only did she cause harm to the living beings of Pari Tibba, but she was also responsible for the death of the first human beings to find this place. She felt so horrible that she ended up throwing up blood. Convulsing as she sunk and dug her nails into her skin. 

Sins so big, they won’t ever be forgiven. With all ruined, she wondered if only her life could also end. But a wish is just a wish as she was yet to rot forever in this hell. 

All the blood Pari had lost quickly regenerated. She was fine again. But this time instead of letting her emotions go astray, she decided to control them to protect those of the hill. Before going into a deep meditative state, she straightened her back and looked above with a sneer. Her laugh echoed through the mountains, as if giving a warning to anyone who heard her. This was the first day in her life which didn’t feel fleeting, in fact it was so disgustingly long that she wanted it to be nothing but a nightmare. As soon as she shut her eyes it was like she could imagine centuries passing by. And in an instant, she was back at that stop. The time when all had been ripped away from her. She remembered his last words to her. I’ll come back by the next dawn, the next dawn, the next dawn….rippled through her bloodstream. She opened her eyes in that moment of realisation and in front of her was a familiar aching hour. The sun was about to set. 

Her eyes became cloudy again as silent tears dripped down her face. A season that didn’t come and go in a haste; the longest hour of any of her days. In front of her was the unfaithful horizon again but instead of opening itself, it ripened before her. Forming a line across the stretch of its infinite body, it spoke into existence a never seen before beauty. Brilliant and intense, cheerful and colorful; just like him, her child. A voice reverberated again but instead of the deep menacing one, it was that of Mahi. Mahi had taken the role of the omnipotent being this time. 

“See Mumma, I came back to you as I had promised.”

“...”

“But you see, I cannot be on Earth again. I have a greater purpose to fulfill in this heavenly abode- Mumma, so please listen to me carefully...”

“...”

“I am with you. I will always be with you; my heart, mind and soul are yours for you have loved me. I don’t ask you to give me anything, just allow me to stay by your side until this winter shall find an escape from us. These petty seasons may come and go, but that has no meaning whatsoever because the time I’ll not be with you would also be fleeting. So just let me…let me be here with you, all winter long, for every winter that’ll ever come. I am sorry that I cannot be with you forever, I really need to do something important. But I- 

I also want to be near you. I want to be at home. Honestly, Mumma, I am so scared. I tried so hard to be strong for you, but I am just as scared. So please let’s stay like this for as long as we can. Right now, all the bones and blood in my body are stretched out across the horizon. They are trying to do their best to shield you from the immeasurable pain this view has given you as a token of gratitude for raising me with such love and kindness. So please be proud of me. And one more thing- Mumma. I love you.” 

“M-Mumma? Please don’t cry….please talk”

“...why do you always make me so worried about you? Did you think I’ll be happy to see you getting hurt as you stopped the wrath of the heavens? My Mahi, you don’t have to do anything! I am just grateful to have spent these seasons with you. I don’t know what I have done to deserve you, but child, please wherever you are, live your best life. That is all I want from you. I will also do my best to be there for you and for the life on this Tibba. So always take care of yourself, okay?” 

“Yes, always will”

“....and love you also” 

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

As if an electric shock ran through her body, she knew what to do next with clarity. Though still unaware of a few things, she now knew what needed to be done. For the last time she faced Pari Tibba with a satisfied look of burning purpose in her eyes. I was his protector, but actually he was mine. She took a deep breath in, and with that, her body decomposed in the same land where she had once stood tall. She finally became a true guardian of the hills, and of Mahi too. 

“She was of Earth; He was of sky; where they met was the horizon, the winter line.”

The two from then onwards always reunited for a few months every year. Each time they met, it was as beautiful as the first time. They would warmly gaze at each other, completely aware of their unchanged love, though those humans who came after them knew not of them. Seasons came and went in a haste.

The Earth became the sky; the sky became the Earth.