Turn Around

I had been a volunteer for a domestic violence organization for many years when one day I received a call requesting help. She was calling from a women’s shelter where she had been staying for the last three months with her four-year-old son. We decided to meet in the afternoon.

She was a petite, smart-looking young woman. But her face carried lines of worry. I wondered what kind of trouble this pretty and educated classy young woman could have! Looking into my eyes, she hesitantly spoke.

She said, "I told you that my name is Shona, but my given name is Deepika.” She continued with her story.

Deepika was from a prestigious family in Mumbai. When she had met 30 years old Kabir, she was only 18 and had just finished her first year of college. A rebellious teenager, she had big dreams. Deepika got carried away with infatuation and ignored the fact that she belonged to a staunch Hindu family and he was a Muslim. She thought that she was in love, and snubbed all the warning signs. Kabir planned that they get married and go to America!! That temptation was irresistible for Deepika. They lied about her age and used several other tricks to get her visa. Deepika came to the USA and closed all doors behind her in India. ....She became Shona.

With tears in her eyes, she said, “My family was so ashamed. They told people that I had gone to the USA for studies.”

Her husband worked in an automobile garage. Deepika was working in a gift shop. She had a good relationship with the owner of the shop and did her job well. But her husband had become abusive. Two years after their marriage, Deepika gave birth to a son. The rough treatment from her husband was hard on her. One time she had to call the police. The situation had become unbearable at home, so she had taken this desperate step of moving to the women’s shelter.

When Deepika came to see me, she had just been informed that she needed to move out of the women’s shelter. She was studying at the local community college to be a nurse’s assistant, and her ultimate goal was to become a nurse. She was seeking financial and emotional support. She needed money to rent her own apartment, to pay college fees, and to get a good lawyer.

I presented her case to the board of the domestic violence organization. They were impressed by her determination and the desire to become a professional individual. We approved rent money for several months, paid her college fees in full, and found her a lawyer.

Now Deepika was able to focus on her studies and her son. She filed for divorce. She said that she did not want anything except custody of her son. But things have a way of getting complicated. So many times, she would call me in total frustration: the long delays in the court system, the uncertainties and responsibilities.

It concerned me when she said, “I will escape to Canada with my son and make sure that Kabir can never find us. I need to teach him a lesson.”

I would try to calm her down and point out the legal problems that would arise for her…if she were to do something so desperate. In time, I felt assured that Deepika would not do anything rash. Now and then I would hear her excited voice on the phone, “Saryu! Guess what? I got A in all of my classes!” She received a scholarship for the following semester so it was less of a burden on our organization.

Her divorce was finalized, and Deepika got joint custody of their son. She realized that she had to be more careful and maintain cordial relations with her ex. In the meantime, she was getting to know one young man named Michael. She said he was very kind and trustworthy.

Upon her former husband’s insistence, one day Deepika visited him for several hours. But when she was leaving, a neighbor saw him hit her. The neighbor called the police. After that Kabir was ordered to leave the country with no option to re-enter.

But all this time, her ex was confident that Deepika would come back to him. He insisted on taking their son back to India with him. He said, “Over there, everything will be back to normal. You come later, and I will keep you in comfort.” Deepika had to agree with a heavy heart. She was barely supporting herself and had at least two more semesters to study. She knew her husband and his sister in India would take care of her son.

In a few months, Deepika finished her final exam. She no longer needed our help. When last time we talked, Deepika shared a secret…her marriage with Michael. I was happily surprised. She and Michael had prepared the necessary papers for herself and her son and Deepika was going to Mumbai to get her son back. I just wondered how would it be possible!

A couple of months passed. One day the phone rang, “Saryu! Guess who is sitting next to me?” a giggle followed… “My son is here.”

Deepika filled in the details. Her ex had rented them an apartment and had made plans for their life together. Deepika made peace with her parents and let them know about her situation. Every day, she would take her son to her parents at a specific time.

As planned, Michael quietly came to Delhi and booked three tickets to fly back to America. One day, with the pretext of going to her parents’ house, Deepika with her son took a flight from Mumbai to Delhi, where they met Michael. From there, Michael, Deepika and her son flew safely back to the USA.

I was thrilled to hear her excited voice on the phone. “Saryu! I am so happy…my son is right here, sitting next to me!! We just got back from India. Thank you for giving me the chance to become from Shona, to Deepika once again.” I felt the happy vibrations of a mother’s heart.

The veil of desires and greed prevents a person from looking at the realities. The experience leaves the unrepairable bruises long after coming out of the situation. Deepika’s leap without looking has cost her a lot...Now a new beginning.

Turnaround

I look around in the lonely night at the lonesome path.

Where did I start and where have I ended up?

I said those lies to become a mistress;

my lies and traps brought deep distress.

I stand and stare at sweet childhood.

I was the one who had closed that door.

Take me back to my hometown

give me the name which was my own.

Please, let me hold a helping hand,

so I can step into the freedom land.

Shona’s suffering came to an end;

with love and strength, she took a stand.

She paid her dues with great patience,

and returned Deepika with her son.

------

In this case, both individuals lied to get what they wanted. One turned out to be an abuser who wanted to control and run another person’s life. The victim’s actions are for the care of her child and to give herself a decent life.

--