The Sacrifice

Manish is a good friend of mine. There was a time when he was my crush. We were not college friends, nor have studied in the same school neither he was my colleague in office. We met through a matrimonial site... (A pause)

I know it sounds strange to many people but as this generally doesn’t happens to be a good friend with someone who you met on such kind of sites even after your marriage…

Yes I am happily married.

Those days I was in Chennai for some courses so that I could pick up a suitable job. Ok I will be honest about myself, I was an absolutely average student and didn’t got through my campus placements. But to have a lucrative career with a handsome package is what everyone dreams off now a days and if you have hands on expertise knowledge on your technical skill then it would definitely be an add on.

So this was about how my professional life was going… Now coming to my personal life "If your daughter turns 24 then society treats her like 44"

I admit that I wasn't under complete pressure of my parents but to some extent my family and friends convinced me for marriage and to at least to open account on matrimonial site. I agreed and opened my account.

I opened the account with the aim to check out guys, but yes i am a girl of good moral values.. So always in limits.

On initial days after opening account I met many people, and overall experience was mixed, i mean with some people it was terrible , sometimes ok ok , few people I found good. And acceptance and rejection is a part of that, so you need to be very open for that, I mean don't get disheartened if somebody rejects you...

Well for me it was a good timepaas activity.

After a month I received interest from a Kannada Guy. For me caste and regional issues doesn’t matters as my family is very liberal .

By the way, I am a pure Marathi Brahmin.

Ok let’s not focus on myself ( I am self obsessed)

Coming back to him, The guy was descent looking, tall and overall thik thak tha and he was working in one of I.T MNC in Mumbai and can fluently speak Marathi. What else i could have expected for (my hometown is Mumbai), immediately i accepted his request.

Initially we talked on chat, then over a phone call. As I am not that kinda person who is very comfortable to talk on a phone with a random stranger for a long time, so I asked him if he was comfortable on video calls.

After 2-3 days we had a conversation over whatsap video call and we both saw each other and well it was a long conversation. The guy was modest having a pleasant personality and what attracted me was his simplicity.

Slowly the duration of our whatsapp video calls was increasing. After 2 months my course was over and i got placement in an well reputed IT MNC based in Pune. But there was some time left for my joining and all my exams and submissions were over. So it was time for me to go back to my hometown for few days. And this time it was not only for my parents..

I guess you know the reason (laugh)

The day i reached, the very next day i went to meet that guy. OOOOO Can't express how excited i was (if my Navara (hubby) got to know about this, then to......) Anyways that was a past and we only maintained good friendship.

Whatever he had written on his biodata and whateer i saw in videocalls he was exactly same.

Usme boht sachhai thi. I was there for 5 days and in those five days duration we met thrice, and the third time we met I expressed my feelings.

But wait he denied and told me that he is not a good fit for me.... ?? For a moment i thought that than why the hell he sent me the request?

Am I so Bad?

No... but because his father was suffering from a rare genetic Alzheimer disease (A genetic condition where the nerve cells on brains gets degenerated and the patient suffers from short term memory loss, judgment etc) and as it is genetic, so when his father was diagnosed he too did his checkup and got to know that he had received some part of that, I mean very mild and he was afraid that he won’t be able to care up for his wife and maybe he can’t have kids in future.. And with that he had some stammering issues.

But I found him very caring and matured enough to handle me. I don't know why I was very much accepting at that time, i wasn't persuaded by his words, i told him that everything can be managed well, there is answer to everything. And now a days there are so many options like adoption, invivo fertilizations and much more...

But somewhere I could sense that he wasn’t comfortable with the idea, Actually confidence ki kami nazr aa rhi thi, shyad use ni smjh rha tha ki aisa krne se kuch ni hoga.

After those five days, I moved to Pune. My office started, Ahhh too much of pressue but it was fun, professional life was going good, Hath me laxmi Jii ki kripa baras rhi thi(When you start earning, you are your own boss) aur love life bhi ok ok thi, I mean still we both were talking, despite of knowing that nothing is gonna happen .We talked every day for long hours and hours. Even he came to Pune once for some work.

I tried to convince him many times that when i have no issues with his problems. Then why he himself is so scared..

Anyways vo ni mana, and at some point mera bs ho gya tha. I mean practically speaking you can’t wait for someone who is not sure about you. After a point you'll start thinking that the person is only hanging around with you but is not interested in you. Dheere dheere I started avoiding him, because the more I talked to him, the more I was falling for him and that attachment is not gonna help me out.

Fir after few months i got request from my man, well who knows what’s lying in your future, I never expected that i would get married vo bhi itni jldi.. We only talked for a month aur hmari shadi fix ho chuki thi. I am happy and glad that he too was working on the same city, so I did not had to think about relocation.

Moving to next part, i came to my hometown for wedding, manish ko bhi card bheja, but by the time he had switched to another company (Batya bhi ni )and moved to Hyderabad along with his parents, yha meri shadi ho gyi and I moved out with my husband.

Well it’s been more than a year after wedding, one day I got ping from from my Manish. Thoda phle lga ki kya bolu, but anyways we spoked to each other nicely. He is still single not ready to get mingled. I asked him that when are you planning to get married, ab kya budhape me shadi kroge??He replied he is still scared about this. His father was diagnosed with cancer (fourth stage) and was operated. Although uncle was recovering with this. but the genetic problem will stay forever. Mene mzak me hi kha, ki us time I was ready to wait for you but tune mna kr dia tha. He replied with a smile he doesn’t wanted to spoil my life with his problems and that’s why he never told me about his feelings. And for that I am enjoying better life.

I was deeply moved up by his words.

That guy is fighting alone with all problems that life has thrown on him, he is a a sincere and obedient to his parents. he is continuously looking after his parents, He had a strong technical knowledge on basis of which he could easily have got chance for onsite, even he got one but he didn't accepted that. Moreover he is not looking any rishtas for his marriage because he couldn't give a proper attention to his wife, His parents wants him to get married but and as per him every wife would have some expectations from her husband and he doesn’t want her to counter his problems. He is a real hero.

Sometimes Life throws jangling situations and circumstances to you and you might end up losing all your confidence, but he is still fighting with that and whatsoever he is doing can’t be counted up.

Aise log aapke aaspas bhi ho skte h, try to motivate them and remind them that you are the real daredevil who is fighting with the voyages of life and you are not less than anyone.