The Poisoned Mind

I walked into the park where she asked me to wait. It had been 2 years since I spoke to her and it definitely felt longer.

"Hi, how long has it been? 3 years?"

The gravity of the sweet voice sucked me into the eternity of missing memories.

"Hey Rachel, It's only been two years" I said.

She came forward and sat beside me on the bench. Around 10 minutes passed by us like the wind. She was in the same space of memories that I just came out of. For all that I know life was easier in the past and every small matters sounded huge and messy. Well, that was how life was when you lack knowledge about life.

"So why did you call me here?" I broke the silence.

"It's been a very long time since we've spoke, I thought maybe we could talk about what we did wrong in the past.. maybe we could see if 'This' can work again?" She said.

"I called you about a hundred times just to see if 'This' could still work, but you never answered my calls" I said.

"You don't want to patch up? Jacob? Are you alright?" She asked. She still had her innocent, caring self inside her. I can almost feel her uncomfort embracing me.

"There is something I want to speak with you. I could have just said it though the phone. I just didn't feel it was the right way to deal with things. I can't live in this society like this, so I've decided to change it. I need your help with this." I didn't know how to break it down to her. Everyday we complain that nothing ever changes. Looking back at those days I realized that those were the days that changed every single detail in my life.

"What is it? Go on tell me." She said without knowing the immense burden she's going to carry.

"I'm engaged to a woman named Maria" I broke it down. She eyelids were drooping with tear droplets over the eyelashes. Just as I thought she was shocked.

"Do you love her? Or are you making all this up? You know, you don't have to answer any of these questions, I'm just shocked that's all." She said.

I felt she was going to react this way, who wouldn't?

"I'm sorry you had to find it this way.." I tried calming her down.

"You proposed marriage to a girl in just 3 years!? Didn't we go out for like 6 years!? Just tell me this, did you ever love me?" She was heart broken for obviously reasons.

"Rachael, I didn't ask you to come down here so that I can rub this fact on your face. Just because we aren't together now doesn't mean that the love once shared between us weren't real and true. It just means that when some people grow they grow apart." I said.

"You're probably wondering what makes Maria so special." I sighed.

"A year after our break up I was still under this very intense pain in my heart. My mother introduced me to Maria. I wasn't certainly interested in dating so soon. But since my mother means so much to me I thought I'd dial Maria. But something she told me drove all my attention towards her. She told me that she was a victim of a horrific gang rape. They way she spoke, she didn't want to lie about such facts. She trusted me, she believed that she was never going to meet another person who would accept her past, that is how poisonous our society is, Rachael. In a matter of few hours she trusted me so much I believed that if had another year she would die for me. I didn't care about her past, after all she isn't the reason for what had happened in her past. And just like that I had this strange affection towards her. She always thought that her past gave her a life that has no future. Her mind was poisoned just like everyone else. I thought I could build her a better future."

Rachael was frozen with shock. She believed it could happen to anyone. That's just how life was full of uncertainties.

"Forgive me, Jacob... I didn't.." She was hunting for words.

"Hey, it's alright, it's obviously not easy to take in" I said.

About 20 minutes passed by and Rachael left without another word. Just like any simple relationship she broke my heart for an unreasonable thing. And breaking heart for simple reasons she obviously knew the intensity of Maria's past and how important she is to me. What I can never accept was the fact that our society was like the pool of infection, anyone who lays a finger is infected and this infection is passed on. If this is the society my children is going to inherit for me then it is definitely my responsibility to start a spark that will emerge into a wild fire. And today that spark is Rachael.