The Nigerian Police

ACT ONE, SCENE ONE.

Mr Salisu is a renowned police officer, dark skinned, about five feet tall, his outward appearance of hairness is shown by his growing moustache and head hair, ruddy cheeks and pronounced nose. Just like a jam-packed trunk, his belly space ran out of room, his body is full of hair and he smells like a dirty fat pig. He married six wives and gave birth to ten children. He ran for the position of a senator after his tenure as the local chairman which he lost to his counterpart, Dr Amusan. His friends Bolakale is already a senator and Dayo is the Governor of Lagos State. They waste their Saturdays with Mama Sidi in the palm wine corner near a private bus stop, where they discuss irrelevant topics, especially on how many women they were able to woe and make love to, while their homes is a living hell. Dayo always complain about his wife, mama Deborah, he claimed she's dirty and doesn't know how to cook and satisfy him on bed, his friends laughed and gave him an advice. 

Dr.Amusan: ( He cough out the phlegm in his throat) My friend forget about the woman at home and have fun with the young blooded ladies out here.

Bolakale: Yes you're right Amusan, we must forget the old ones at home, yes we must.

Dayo: (Laughing hysterically) My wife is a devil in angels clothing, if she catches me with any girl, walai that girl will be a living dead.

Mr Salisu: I have no problem with my own wives, since they are illiterate that doesn't know the difference between one thousand naira and five hundred naira, it's easier to fool women like them.

"The palmwine seller cut in"

Palmwine seller: should I bring more bottles.

"They all respond" 

(Yes bring more wine)

Dayo: (Tap Bolakale on his thigh) let's stop talking about women, Salisu how is work na, I heard criminals are trooping into your station.

Mr Salisu: hmmn ko easi fah, I have got lots of thugs that should have been aborted by their mothers coming to division B like a restaurant. One even stole two hundred naira from a woman in the market, can you imagine, two hundred naira!

Bolakale: Na wa o, this Nigeria and its citizens sha.

Dr Amusan: No be Nigeria cause this problem, na the citizens wey no get sense, how will someone steal two hundred naira. I understand the economy is hard for the poor (he scoff) but what does that got to do with stealing.

Mr. Salisu: I will jail all of them patapata.

Dayo: Don't say that my friend, when hunger reach a level, man must do what man can do to survive, I pity them sha. ( He check his wrist watch) ah! Mogbe time has gone, I must hurry home before my wife start calling me. Make kasala no burst o.

Bolakale: which kasala go burst, you who dey fear to near woman, sha be going home before your wife kill you.

ACT ONE, SCENE TWO.

After Dayo's departure inside the scorching sun, he kept wiping his face with the multicoloured handkerchief he had in his pocket until he reached where he packed his car. Joke and Peace who are professional prostitute joined the private tent were Mr Salisu and his friends were enjoying themselves. Upon the arrival of the ladies, Mr Salisu quickly address himself as the chairman of the group and imploy the ladies to sit close to him. Mama Sidi brought out more palmwine bottle upon the request of Bolakale and Dr Amusan.

Joke: (smile softly) Thank you sir (she knee as a sign of respect)

Mr Salisu: ko to pe, make sure you enjoy yourself.

Peace: we will definitely enjoy ourselves more if we can move to a better avenue.

Dr Amusan: Avenue ke, do you mean like a walkway with tress?

Peace: No sir, I meant an hotel.

Bolakale: (He laughs) Ah! Omokomo, hotel ke, we just met now.

Mr Salisu: it doesn't matter jare my dear, I will give you my contact so that you can reach me and arrange how to meet in an hotel. 

Dr Amusan: can you do threesome.

Joke: (She chuckles) we can give you different kinds of styles sir, depending on your payment. Five thousand is leaning on the wall, ten thousand is doing it in the bedroom, twenty thousand naira is doggy style.

Bolakale: Ah! That's enough, no problem, Salisu will get back to you but has for me I won't be joining you on your adventure. It's time to go home guys (addressing his friends) have stayed here more than five hours, I need to get going.

Mr. Salisu: You guys can excuse yourself, I will spend more time with the ladies.

ACT TWO, SCENE ONE.

Blessing nightmare began when she lost her father, she ran out of her parent home because she had recurrent dreams that her senior brother wants to harm her. She stayed with a friend in the school hostel from where she goes to her place of work daily and return home late at night. A thug by the name Scorpion reside in the same area as blessing. He asked her out but she refuse his proposal. Scorpion became angry and promised to get back at her in a bad way. He brought his gang members to blessings neighborhood to cause trouble. Scorpion wanted to rape blessing, but the neighbors helped her to escape through the back door and she went straight to the division B police station.

Constable Bolaji: Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't rush into this place this is a police station, what do you want? 

Blessing: I'm here to lay a complaint.

Constable Bolaji: For what reason?

Blessing: I was almost rapped last night by a notorious gang member named Scorpion.

(Sergeant Sodiq cut in) 

Sergeant Sodiq: Sebi it's almost and not a rape case pls go home before our oga come out.

Blessing: I can't go home, he has placed his boys in my compound to watch if I return home, I need your help.

(Mr. Salisu entered the office)

Mr Salisu: What is happening here? 

Constable Bolaji: This lady here complained that she was almost raped, I have given her a biro and book to write her statement but she wants us to follow her home.

Mr. Salisu: Wait o! Are you rich?

Blessing: No sir.

Mr. Salisu: You come here you don't have money, where should we get money to fuel our car. Abi we go fly reach your house! Go and bring money if you need protection.

Blessing: But sir, the police are suppose to protect our lives and property.

Mr. Salisu: We can't protect you if you are poor aunty, please find your way out after writing the statement, we will get back to you.

ACT TWO, SCENE TWO.

Through the busy street of Lagos Blessing board a bus at the bus stop, where conductors are acting like thugs, she took a sit closer to a lady in kampala and waited for about twenty minutes for the bus to fill up. The bus conductor ask for money before allowing anyone into the bus. It was packed with people of different colors. The bus smells like a rotten fish, a woman in her early forties entered with a tray of fish. When Blessing alighted, she wandered to mama shayo shop who sells provisions and bosikoro. Customers are trooping into mama Shayo shop, she look for a place to sit on a plastic chair outside the shop waiting for Mama Shayo to have her time.

Mama Shayo: Ehen! I'm sorry Blessing it is the customers o, they are too much today

Blessing: No problem. 

Mama Shayo: what brought you here?

Blessing: I'm just coming from division B police station.

Mama Shayo: Ah! What happened.

Blessing: It's Scorpion and his gang, they threaten to rape me, I couldn't even sleep in my apartment yesterday, I slept in Anjola's house, mama Bola's daughter, the one that sells plastic plates.

Mama Shayo: oh! I know her

(A customer cut in)

Customer: Good afternoon, please do you sell babies wear.

Mama Shayo: yes we sell all kinds of bosikoro.

Customer: Give me three trousers and two tops for a child under the age of five.

Mama Shayo: (she nods) okay.

Customer: Thank you.

Mama Shayo: Bye bye o! Ehen Blessing , where were we. This customers are just too much today, my business is doing really well. I'm sorry that you have to go through lots of stress. What did the police say about your protection.

Blessing: They told me to bring money for protection.

Mama Shayo: Ah! Olopa, the only thing these rotten people know is money, if it were to be a politician they would have bend their pot belle stomach and say, yes sar!

Blessing: I don't even know what to do now, maybe I should just go home and pray Scorpion and his gangs are tired waiting and had already left to their homes.

Mama Shayo: I pray so, go home with hope my dear. All will be well.

ACT THREE, SCENE ONE.

When Blessing got home she found out that Scorpion and his gangs had already returned home. She entered and prepare eba with egusi soup, which she devour with panla fish after a cold bath. She cleaned the house and take a nap. At night she heard a bang on her door, when she opened the door it was Scorpion and his gangs, they successfully raped her and injured her. The next morning she went to division B with tears in her eyes and tattered cloths.

Constable Bolaji: Why do you look like this

Blessing: I was raped last night by Scorpio and his gangs.

Sergeant Sodiq: Ah! Nawa o, na why female pickin suppose dey live for their parent house be that. If you are in your parents house none of this would have happened. Let me call oga Salisu for you. This your case pass me edakun.

Mr. Salisu: Ehen! Ehen! What happened?

Constable Bolaji: This lady claimed she was raped last night.

Mr. Salisu: Where is the evidence.

Blessing: Can't you see how tattered I look, and we can go to a doctor to confirm.

Mr. Salisu: Do you have money, because doctor will not check you for free. See go home and take your bath. Forget about what happened, life goes on my dear.

Blessing: How can you say this as a law enforcement agency.

Mr. Salisu: (laughing hysterically) law enforcement agency ko, law deployment agency ni. Ogbeni no money, no case. Should we use our salary to take you to a doctor or should we use our salary to buy fuel in our car to guard your house. How much does the government pay us, ehen how much?

Sergeant Sodiq: Oga let's not waste our time with this one. The ministers wife that called yesterday has brought the suspect, should we jail him.

Mr. Salisu: Yes put him inside the cell for now, we will decide later on what to do with that scapegoat. (Addressing Blessing) gba fun olorun, go home and rest.

"Blessing went home and was constantly mocked by Scorpion and his gangs, she later commit suicide out of disgrace".