The Lady I Love The Most

Immediately after my wedding, like every new bride, I asked my husband the enigmatic question --- "Who is the lady, you love the most?" He took my palms into his, with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face, he started his dynamic description. "She is short, fair, talkative, tidy has curly hair, sparkling eyes............." I already started having goose bumps and started soaring high above the clouds. Rapidly rubbing my palms, I was eagerly waiting for him to utter my name. It's "MY MOM", he said. Instantly, I fell right from the sky to the ground in a thud. Coincidentally, the above description quite matched with my mother-in-law too. At first, I had mixed feelings................ Pondering leisurely at length, I justified myself --- "He is right! After all, she has been nurturing him from the past thirty years and I came into his life just three years ago. It is incorrect to even try to occupy her place. I should let her retain her place." I completely agreed with him, and always supported him to maintain a healthy rapport with his mother, never interfering into their pure and warm relationship. As a result, I too could carve a cosy corner in her heart. 

Today, after thirty years of my married life, my son is getting ready to tie the knot. My question is, "Will he say the same statement." "Will my daughter-in-law agree to that?" I am not being cynical. Nor am I pressurising him to follow his father. Neither am I waiting for the same answer. After all, each individual has his own perceptions and convictions. I am simply voicing the concern of most mothers of my generation. 

Civilisations have changed and eras have elapsed but we still continue to debate on this mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. If a mother-in-law accepts her daughter-in-law as her own daughter, welcomes her whole-heartedly and treats her just like a daughter, the latter too will follow suit. I little fail to understand, what is there to differentiate? Do we need to add those two words "in-law"? With expanding education and awareness, to a certain extent the scenario has definitely changed in most homes, but still the scene of the son getting sandwiched between the two ladies of his life still continues to exist. "A flower, does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms." If this quote could penetrate into the minds of women, the home can become a haven.

We often observe, before getting married, the one person a girl fears is her mother-in-law. Similarly, we often hear mothers-in-law saying, "I only hope she will not snatch away my son from me." Often forgetting that she too was in the same place a few years ago. Then......................what is there to snatch? Well, didn't you snatch a darling daughter from her family to come and live with your son and his family! Only you have love for your son ?..............Your daughter-in-law's parents don't?

When we see ourselves in others, it is impossible to hurt anyone. At her son's wedding, if a mother-in-law can say, "From today, I have two children", she will be doubling her quota of love, respect, and care. We have often heard this --- --

"Relationships are like birds ---

   if we hold tightly they die,

   if we hold loosely they fly,

   but, if we hold with care, they remain with us forever !!"

To be kind, is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens. Kindness makes us the most beautiful person no matter what we look like. 

Now how about this -----

Mother and wife defined ----"One woman brings us into this world crying, the other ensures, we continue to do so." Can't we change the quotation, "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners, who make our souls blossom."