The Girl Who Lived My Life

The protagonist and the antagonist of this story is the same person. It depends all on your understanding.

My name is Ameesa Patel and I had just returned after defeating my biggest apprehension and receiving my medal for being a topper in my 12 board exams. With a proud yet a heavy heart I thought, this was the last time I was seeing her. She looked beautiful even at her deathbed. Her silky raven black hair strands falling across her calm, serene, snow complexioned face, touching the corners of her petite ruby red lips. Her beautifully carved cheekbones now lacked the pink tinge of her natural blush. She was gone. She left me forever. She was my friend, my best friend from the day I started fearing the world. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, raised to become one of the most popular girls in high school, grew up to steal the life I WANTED TO LIVE.

On her tomb, I wrote "Aseema (02/10/1997 to 07/09/2015 )The girl who went to heaven without regrets." Although I highly doubted the line, didn't she regret at all? Stealing everything I owned, everything I deserved? Or was it me who exaggerated everything and lost to her because of my own imagination.

Taking you back in a time machine to the time when my life flipped 180 degrees. When I was bullied by those two boys in 8th grade, I had developed a fear. Fear of failure, a fear of being laughed at, a fear of being judged on my looks. Because yes I was a teen who had short hair, pimples all over my cheeks and sweat dripping off my forehead, and hence I was different than those girls who would straighten their hair, wash their face as each hour ends and re-do the makeup. But I didn't care until they bullied me. Because I was a topper. I was more into books than into my looks, because I knew my world would change once my career would bloom.

After I was bullied my life changed only to the confinement of books, I forgot being the girl who would laugh and play.

But then Aseema came into my life. She was perfect. Beautiful, smart, academic, and guys craved for her attention. She would speak to me all the time, would decide everything for me. Console me and assured it was okay that I was afraid. Comforted when I was afraid of being a loner. She was my shadow. By the time I passed my 10th exams I had become a chicken. I was afraid of the crowd, I made excuses for avoiding the stage. People would forget me even if I was a topper. But she assured me that it was okay. She was gradually feeding my flaw.

l was mesmerized by her, I started comparing

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myself to her. Then she started the game of domination. She would stop me getting out to reach people and would remind me of my failures of being afraid of the crowd. While she would be the life of the class. She was popular and could entice anybody. She was bold and confident. I wanted to be her.

I was the one who would work hard, put ideas, do the assignments throughout the years, but at the end, she would remind me that I had become a loser and would snatch all the credit. Because she was smarter, while I was timid, she would boast. She would remind me I was timid because I was bullied because I wasn't pretty as most girls. But by that time it was hard to let her go as she made sure I had no one else.

Finally, I passed my 12th grade, and I stood 1st but I was not proud at all because eventually in my view I had become a loser. I cried and cried once I realized this. Then came the felicitation ceremony the name "Ameesa Patel" was called I stood up, walked up to the stage, with her walking beside me. I approached the stage, the room filled with dignitaries applauded as I received my medal. I was requested to tell something that inspires my juniors. It was my last chance to make people remember me. 5 years I had denied this and had always regretted. I was horror-struck, I was not meant to speak in front of people and Aseema stood right beside me reminding me of the fact.

But I decided to stop her. Stop her from stopping me. Because deep within I knew that although flawed, I was meant to fly. I left her there at the corner of the stage, went to the podium stammered a lot but gave a beautiful speech which was followed by another round of huge applause. This time I felt it was more than any other time I had heard it. She stood at the corner looking at me. I went off the stage but she didn't come behind me. Rather I saw something strange, she smirked and fell down as though she had lost. She died because I had killed her.

I had her mourning ceremony that day itself and trust me the words I said earlier were true she looked heavenly. But I was much more beautiful than her because I had those pink tinge on my imperfectly carved perfect cheekbones. And my petite ruby lips had once again started smiling. I made her tomb right under my bed making sure that she couldn't ever come out again.

Aseema was the anonym of Ameesa.

Yes, she was a fictional character created through my fears, first to console me but then playing in my head the person I wanted to be, the life I WANTED TO LIVE.