The Girl Inside Me

I used to see her much more often. These days? Hardly. Once a week, I may catch a glimpse of her, somewhere in a corner, doing her own thing. No one seems to understand what she's ever doing, but then again, I seem to be the only one who sees her now. She's invisible but unforgettable.

Since the day I saw her, I was in awe. She was so confident, skip in her step because she knew she was perfect. And she was. She was smart and could speak up for all the questions asked in class. She loved what she did, and kept doing what she loved. She was a strange one too. So many weird little habits. And she never hid them. No matter what anyone said, she went her own way, swam in her own stream, whether it leads away from everyone else's. 

Nowadays, I wish it was still her, I saw in the mirror. But I've pushed her too far deep inside me. She lives, but too far away. She left me. Well, I can't say that. I drove her away. Every day, I wish I hadn't. I killed myself to become someone else. Just to fit in? I try calling out to her, because I know she's somewhere, I can feel it. The girl inside me. The girl is me.