The Girl in the Yellow Dress

1. HOW I MET YOU..

Only 30 minutes passed! I had to survive 1.5 hour more. The class was so boring that day. At some point I dozed off a little. 

Suddenly I woke up and checked whether I had been caught or not. Fortunately even If I was sitting in the second row, no one noticed me. But the struggle to cope up with the lecture was still difficult for me. I was trying to keep open my eyes, so was looking here and there, looking to the ceilings and the fans and counting all the faces in class. Suddenly I found myself blushing and my eyes stuck in a particular direction. That was the moment I saw you for the 1st time. A girl in the yellow dress, who was sitting in the front bench. She was talking to her back bench friend when I saw her smiling face and the cute dimples. I forgot about class and how boring it was. Believe me that moment was none the less than a slow motion love scenes of classic Bollywood movies. She was constantly talking to her back bench and I was thinking about how stunning was she looking while talking. May her talk never stops! And then the class was over. This time again theory of relativity won and the 1.5 hour time had passed like some moments. 

Yellow was never my favourite but it was the most beautiful colour that day. "The girl in the yellow dress." That's how I named you that day.

2.WHO AM I?

Hii. I am Ashwini.

Inshort a tired and lost soul. With a faded daily life, messed up emotional life, a survivor trying to keep up with the pace. Except these music is my all time friend, and I read and write some times. Little foodie but now a days on diet. I walk a lot and ready to travel always.

People often say I look little rude type, may be I don't know how to make a smiley face, but I am a sensitive and overthinker guy inside. I also cry watching movies. But horror movies doesn't make much sense to me. I don't fear though just a dislike for no reason. Or may fear a little. So that's me, the protagonist of this story. In short I am the hero.  

3.MY FAILED ATTEMPTS

Now it became my everyday routine to search her presence. That 2 hours became my favourite moment of every day. I tried to resist myself many times but unconsciously I found myself looking at her. When she smiles I smiled and when she talks it felt like we were talking. She seemed so cool everytime. It was been weeks and then I decided to take it little further. I thought of how cool to be friends. So one day I decided to talk to her and so as practiced for hundred times of "how to start talk" and "how to talk". That day after Class confident and motivated me went after her. She was with her friend walking. I reached near them and tried to start a "hii", but I failed. Even a simple word didn't come out of me and I stopped. I failed miserably that day and my roomie found a way to taunt me every day. Days passed and my over thinking and over imaginations started. 

Then one day I straighten up myself and went to them after class. That day also she was walking with her friend. I tried to make some comments about that day's class and blah blah. But I managed to talk to her friend instead some how. I failed again and that was only a 3 minutes talk might be. I have to agree though, that 3 minutes was one of the toughest time period of life. I felt so much pressure surrounding me, that I was going to explode. How ever I managed, but then all night my over thinking mind stayed awake. I imagined various conclusions and various approaches that I should have done that day and scolded myself how boring and stupid I was. May be I am introvert when she Is there. My stupid nervous system or my overthinking brain.

Everything seemed to be betraying me. Then one day finally I decided that, why do not I write her? I won't have to speak and I believe I am a good writer too. Then next day in the back of my class note I wrote a 3 page intro of me and my feelings. I was ready then. That day after class I want near her but again I failed to make a single sound and she went. I didn't know how to approach her, I didn't know why!! I made hundreds of acquaintances my friend. But this time I am failing repeatedly. It happens very less in life. This time it happened. May be I like her. That's why. 

After 2 days I bought new copy and wrote again a 10 page of me and my every feelings. This time I promised that I would give it, whatever it takes. Unfortunately after I reached class I found that i forgot that copy in room. But till then I was fully motivated and said to myself that what ever it takes. I started to write in the back pages of that class copy.

This time 2 pages but I felt today I wrote better than every other day. Then, the class was over and I managed to reach her. After a lot of courage I approached her and told, "Hey I have written something in this copy, will you take a look." I know that's a really weird and nonsense line to approach a stranger. Albeit I practiced but I always forgot everything in front of her. Still I was optimistic but it ended very bad. She refused instantly and said may be tomorrow. I thought may be she was thinking that I wrote a love letter so she refused instantly and replied, "listen yaar, I am not proposing, just look at it once." Actually I wanted her to take that note with her but I couldn't say her. Her friend was waiting for her and she was gone within seconds. I failed this time hard. This time it did hurt a little, I become blank for minutes, thinking every single seconds of my conversation with her. 1st I thought, why did she has an attitude? I was not doing anything wrong. What was wrong to take a look.

Then I remembered her face, how cute and innocent that was. Then I thought, how stupid I was. About my stupid approach and the timings and all. o found she did nothing wrong. I was nonsense overall. But after that day I lost all my courage and even I tried not to make an eye contact with her. I was worried, afraid, angered about myself. I was thinking of her thoughts now about me. I concluded that she was thinking me now a creep or pervert may be. I just wanted to say a sorry now. I don't want this relationship to end like this. Atleast a happy endings it deserves. May be a "sorry" can make everything good again. But I was nervous as hell to approach her after that incident. I stopped myself for hundreds of trivial thoughts everyday. Everyday I returned as a lost. That continued till one day...

.4.ONE DAY WE TALKED AND WE WALKED

One day she was walking alone as her friend was absent. That day I put myself together and told myself,"Ashwini shut it out today, what ever it takes." Then I went her and reminded her about that incident, and luckily she responded so well. She was cool with that and told the problem was time that day. That moment I wanted to slap my over thinking mind but finally I was happy that she was totally fine with whatever happened. At least that seemed to me. Then we talked about some other things and that was a nice talk. At least for me. Though later I thought how boring talks was I doing that time. I concluded that she was gonna mark me as a moron for 100%. All my practices went to dust bin.

In middle of this crisis, there was single thing that made me so happy. That was her name. She told me her name that day and I told her that I was gonna send her friend request online. I can conclude that was one of my best days after a long time. I was over emotional that day. Joy was blooming out with unstoppable smiles all night and good vibes are feeling up my entire sorrounding with her thoughts. That day I walked with her, I talked with her. I sleeped smiling after a decade it felt. 

5.AND IT HAPPENED.

That night I searched her name that I got from her. I was talking to me that, we are gonna be great buddies. I am gonna never let her down. Finally I found a good friend.

Ya friend! I always wanted her as a friend. To be a close friend whom I can share my every stories and reciprocate. Finally I won't feel lonely more and blah blah.. I like her a lot. She seems so cool and care free to me. "The girl in the yellow dress "But what's it!! I have searched more than 100 profiles with that same name, but why can't I find her?? I checked and checked but her profile was never found. I was confused and later sad. Thus I concluded may be she doesn't want to talk to me. May be my first impressions were bad and she really thinks me as a pervert. But I put aside those thoughts and imagined how good we talked. There seemed nothing doubtful at that time.

It's not like she doesn't want to be friend, may be she was afraid of me to give her real id as I am a stranger. So if I can show her that I am not bad intended, she will be fine. With those confused thoughts finally approached her one day and asked about that name, how did I not found her online. Finally I asked, "can we be friends?" She rejected with some random reasons. I stepped back and never looked her after that day. It was hurtful to be rejected and that to be for a friendship. that's how it ended. Not a happy ending happens always. Some times it just ends suddenly and unexpected, that I had already expected of how can a good thing was happening to me!!

6.FINALLY

I remember her pretty well that day. She was looking so cool at our last meeting too. How can I be rude on that pretty face. 

May be I have faults, I didn't know how to start the conversation. May be I made her scare of me or think me as a creep. May be I did not understand her. May be I am not good as much I think myself. Whatever..

I hoped that day, 

May be she was known I am broken already. May be she was known I never thought any wrong about her. May be she was known about my feelings about her. 

How easy will it be then?? To be friends?? 

Dear,

The girl in the yellow dress, smile suits you well.