The Fear Of The Unknown

On a regular school day, here I was sitting in the classroom following the second hand of the clock, with my classroom teacher Mrs. Whitney in the foreground wishing the whole class the best of luck, shedding a few tears. And here I was staring at the clock and thinking why is everyone in such a hurry to grow up? As I was lost in the train of thought the clock struck 4 and that was the end of high school. Paper and cheers were up in the air and my 6ft tall best friend comes up and gives me a big hug saying Becky!! We are done with… I couldn’t hear the rest of the sentence because I was engulfed by her huge bear hug. But I understood her excitement and everyone else’s. We are done with school yes! But I couldn’t help but thinking what’s next.

I am an average student with a dream of going to a art school to purse my love for literature, I have applied to all possible colleges and I’ve just heard back from one. After a long discussion with my parents and the administration of the college I was told I could join the summer semester. Before my college started I picked up a book few days ago, the secret history by Donna Tartt about students in a college campus life like just for a insight. It was such a thrilling book I couldn’t keep it down. On the night before the first day of college, I was excited and looked forward to the new atmosphere, new friends, new life as I thought about it the excitement turned into anxiety. I picked the book from my nightstand and started to read to calm me down. After three warnings from my mom to go to sleep early I finally closed it.

****

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my mother screaming from the kitchen Becky Ann Tobias! You’re going to be late for the first day of college. I thought I could bunk the college I didn’t even start after all today was just going to be moving day and the ice breaking sessions. I felt queasy I guess the anxiousness of last night really took a toll on me. So, I woke up, when it was time to leave I dragged my feet and my packed bags into the car.

We drove for about 30 minutes although my college was close by I still wanted to experience the dorm life. As we reached the entrance of the college dorm rooms. I saw handsome guys walk past me, and there comes back the anxiety. I took my bags up after a saying my quick goodbyes to my parents. Excited I got my room keys and moved up to the first floor, I entered my room and I was hit by a whiff of heavy perfume and then I saw her face super beautiful, super tall the opposite of me and of course smells great.

Hi!! You must be Becky Ann. I am Marie Baker, it so nice to meet you

Hi! Yea me too. Engulfed by that all to familiar bear hug when I was clearly going for a handshake. Oh! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to..

Hey, its okay, chill! she said, we are going to be good friends

And for some reason I didn’t doubt that too. I guess, I attract tall girls as friends the same thing happened in high school.

After our short introduction we were told to move to the lobby where we were taken to all the classroom and studios to show what our life will be like for the next three years and honestly, I was loving it. I thought I was going to have the best college years and I couldn’t wait to get started. That evening we had the ice breaking sessions, and during this time so many out of this world guys approached us, well not me in specific but Marie and who could blame them. I just went with the vibe hanging out by the snack bar, hogging on the free food.

Good food, right??

I turned around to the raspy voice to put a face to the voice. A tall lanky fellow with glasses with a perfect smile, I couldn’t stop staring at him for an awkwardly long time.

Is everything all right? he asked

Oh! Yea yea I’m good food

Sorry?

Sorry, I meant I’m good, I’m fine.

That’s good. You should really try the nachos they are great

Getting your act together Becky! My brain communicating to the rest of my body.

I’m Danson, currently doing my final year.

Oh you’re a senior!

Yea he chuckles, don’t I look like one?

No, no that’s not it. I’m Becky its really nice to meet you.

You too he said, again with that perfect smile. Each time he smiles his green eyes was almost invisible he had hazel brown hair up to his neck. My brain is finally working seeing that I’m paying attention to detail.

Hey if you need any help with your essay or you know like other work you can let me know. He said

Oh, that's awesome, thank you!

Yea sure anytime, ill catch you later he said. Smiling for one more time then disappearing into the sea of students.

Hey Becky! Did you talk to Danson

Yea I did just now Maria.

Isn’t he like the best student coordinator ever

Oh he’s the student coordinator? Feeling kind of upset that he talked to be out of obligation and not out of interest.

After the ice breaking session, classes started the following week I enjoyed most of the classes but some of them especially history was a drag. After months of classes we had out finals. First year finals the whole week I was so paranoid and tensed a feeling that I have never experienced for school finals. During the spring break we were given and assignment a 10-page essay on just inspiration, and I had no idea where to start I thought I would just head back home for the break read some bibliographies and get inspired. That night in the room Maria told me that she and her boyfriend Ted, who she met at a club were going on a to vacation in Bali for week and she told me that I could join them. I was hesitant at first because if I go I would be a third wheel, but I really needed the inspiration. But after asking permission from my and using up all my savings that I earned from my part time at a high five restaurant, I got ready for Bali.

We left for Bali on a Monday and reached there on Tuesday morning, we got to our hotel rooms and crashed. When I woke up it was like I was in one of those LED HD television, everything was crystal clear the water, the sun light, the trees. I was so happy I got a room with a beach view. If I had a chance to be a mythical creature I would surely be a mermaid. I loved the sea since I was a child. My dad took me fishing and boating every summer vacation and I became good at them. This view deserves to be enjoyed with a coffee I thought, I call up room service and I just enjoyed the sound of the waves crashing on the shores. But my peace was short lived, Maria along with Ted both stared banging my room door I went and opened it.

Becky! Let’s go have food I’m famished! Oh! You’re already having coffee.

Yea I just wanted something to wake me up.

Let’s rush down we are already late for the complimentary breakfast said Ted.

Yep just give me a second. I put on my slipper and we head down to the lounge a have one of the best breakfasts I’ve had in my life. The local delicacies were too exquisite, and we enjoyed them. After a filling breakfast we spent some time at the beach relaxing. Ted was helping Maria apply sun lotion and they were fooling around with each other. Looking at the made me wonder whether being in a relationship is much more fun than being single. After a while I didn’t want to disturb them I went for a massage.

It was like I was in heaven being massaged by hands of a angel, the 1 hour massage felt short but totally worth it. Once I was done I got a message from Maria saying that the were going to a club and whether I wanted to join them. I text her back saying that I just got a massage and I feel really relaxed so I might just watch a movie and doze off. She replied saying okay and to be ready for all the program scheduled for tomorrow. We had scuba diving for tomorrow and boating the next day. The travelling agency gave us a packed schedule, so I wanted to be ready for doing all of them.

On the way back, I bought a ice cream from a ice cream truck and I was walking back to my hotel. It was 12 o clock in the night and I was surprised to see that so much time has passed. The walk to my room was quite distance from the spa so I am walking on my own having ice cream and meddling on my phone. I was looking at memes on Facebook and laughing when I suddenly hear a rustling in the trees the were on the side of the path. Looking around and seeing nothing I ignored it and continued to walk. Suddenly I hear footsteps matching mine, putting my phone in my pocket I pick up the pace. I looked in the front if I could see anyone walking in front of me, but I was kind of scared to turn back. The only light on the road were small lanterns on the side of the of the footpath, even if I turned I would be able to see who was behind me. I stop walking and realized that the footsteps behind me also stopped, now I was sure this person was following me I start running in my head what were the best possible solutions. I start walking fast till I saw someone, the footsteps behind me also quickened, I was panicking and started sweating profusely, I didn’t know what to do I texted Maria saying that I was on my way to the hotel and that someone was following me. As soon I sent the text the footsteps behind me grew louder I froze in fear and in a split second I could feel hands grabbing my hips and my mouth before I could cry out.

I bolted up straight and sat up, breathing heavily, tears in my eyes, sweat running down my neck I found myself in my room I looked around confused

It was a dream?? I asked myself

Still breathing heavy, It was a dream I reassured myself. I immediately checked my alarm clock and it showed that it was 5 in the morning. I could already hear my mom getting things ready. Still confused and tired I laid my head back of the pillow diagnosing why I had a nightmare, I guess my anxiety about college caused me to have a nightmare. I laid there till my mom woke me up.

I got up and dragged myself out of my house and into the car. On the way to college, I kept on thinking about my dream whether my college life will be anything like I dreamed of. Becoming best friends with roommates, attending classes, chasing boys, freaking out for finals and third wheeling on vacation or will it be something more. With a big fear of the unknown I entered my college campus, and I saw two girls crying and hugging each other and from the context I assumed one was the senior and other a sophomore, the senior girl told the sophomore .

Enjoy these years it going to go by in a flash.

And I didn’t doubt her at all after all I felt like I lived my whole college life in a dream. With excitement and confidence, I was ready to embark on the whole new chapter of my life where I could make a difference in myself and the world around me, and of course enjoy the last days of my youth.