The Fault in our Upbringing

The house of Sharma's was bustling with joy, their youngest daughter in law was blessed with a baby girl. The seventh girl child in the family and their happiness knew no bounds. 

"Lakshmi huyi hai " said Mohit to his mother.

"Call the dhol wala, Ayushi will get the discharge tomorrow and we will welcome her in the same way with all pomp and show".

 The Sharma's was one big grand family with a grandmother who belongs to the early '70s, uneducated but still was very modern by her values, she adapted many things with time. She has 6 sons and now with their wives and respective children they all lived in that mansion. The mansion got reconstructed time and again as per the requirement of the family. Ramaji, the grandmother was a very calm lady with stern values and maybe that is why she was still able to hold together the family of 6 sons, 6 daughters-in-law's and 12 grandchildren. She always wore cotton crisp saree with the golden border that covered her head. She never compelled her daughters-in-law's to wear saree, they were free to wear anything they want, even a part of her will was in the name of her 6 daughters-in-law so that if god forbade anything happens, they don't have to be dependent on their husbands. She had learned her life lessons well and she never wanted history to be repeated.

The rules were the same for her granddaughters, they were free to choose any career they want, she asked them to learn every skill they can, right from cooking to self-defense, everything they wanted to. The eldest granddaughter, Avni was on doing aeronautical engineering and offers for her marriage were coming from all four sides. On the other side, they had started looking for a suitable bride for Ankit, Avni's elder brother. Ramaji told her granddaughter that marriage will solemnize only when she is ready and made a point to everyone in the family not to pressurize her. She didn't want a rich and influential family for Avni but one that is modern yet cultured by values. 

Amidst all this one thing that Sharma's missed were there grandsons. They raised their daughters will equality but missed raising a feminist son. Their daughters knew every skill but their sons didn't. They have always seen their mothers and sister's doing every chore but no one paid attention to teaching sons the same skill. When Ankit, Avni's brother was looking for a suitable partner, he rejected the girls on a very unreasonable basis. He declined if the girl was more educated than him if she was career-oriented. The reasons were as silly as their dressing, their past relationship. 

At night after dinner, Ramaji called Ankit in her room.

"Beta,Kya hua, don't you want to get married? she asked

"No, dadi, It's not like that, but koyi milni bhi chahiye of my choice".

And what is your choice betu? she candidly asked.

"Anyone who listens to me obediently should be homely,aur dadi if she will be so educated, she will be a free bird. 

"Acha!, so you want someone you can keep in the cage,tab to Ankit tu ek tota le aa".( bring a parrot instead)

Ramaji realized" A whole generation worked to empower women, but forgot to teach men how to live with empowered women". 

We have raised our daughters with equality, empowered them but do we raise our sons with equal value. When a man comes home tired after a hard day, the lady of the house takes care of all his needs but are we teaching our sons how to take care of her wants in the same, not to undermine her success, to value her opinion, to respect her for her choices, to taker her stand in need.



Think about it. A son raised well today will be a gentleman tomorrow.