The Break-Up

                   

I met my girl on a train. I prefer to take the train as they are cost-effective and I like to sleep under the rocking motion I am an insomniac but do get some sleep in train).

The year being 2014, I was coming back from my hometown after an illness, to join back my workplace. It was an early morning train, and on boarding I went off to sleep. Woke up at mid day, had my lunch and again went off to sleep.

It was evening when I finally thought of waking up, and I saw this beautiful damsel sitting right across my berth. I was pretty sure she was not there when I boarded the train. I pretended to behave as if I haven't noticed anything. I sat up, and went back to the virtual world of social media. I don't have much real friends in the real world(some 2–3) and I do crave for love(for some weird reason), so I spend a lot of time in the virtual world.

She got up, and went somewhere, by the time she came back some one else had sat at her place, so it was natural for her to sit right next to me on my berth. And right Infront of us was a mirror, somewhat like this;

And as any guy would do, I started looking at her beauty from the mirror. She was lovely, beautiful, etc., I instantly felt a connection with her, but didn't have the courage to start a conversation. I started looking the other way knowing that I am not worth her. On looking back to the mirror I found her looking at me, and she was shocked to see that I saw that.

I turned to her and said 'Hello'. It felt like a tough job that I did, felt like climbing 10 floors through the stairs on one single breath. She replied with a simple 'Hi'.

Me: How're you?

She: I am good, how're you?

Me: Sleepy. (A burst of laughter). From which station did you board the train, I didn't see you boarding.

She: I boarded at Howrah, where did you board.

Me: I boarded at Bhubaneswar, but I didn't see you.

She: I tend to sleep with the blanket over my face, I was on the middle berth.

Me: Ahh! So you are from Howrah?

She: No, I am from Jamshedpur. But I don't get a direct train to Bangalore, so have to take one to Howrah and then switch to another to Bangalore.

Me: That' tough. At what time did you start from Jamshedpur.

She: I started late night, reached early morning at Howrah, and then boarded this train.

Me: So parents staying at Jamshedpur.

She: No, I stay with my Nana and Nani.

Me: Why?

She: Can I talk about this later.

At this point, I remembered that my research instinct had kicked in which she definitely didn't want.

Rest of the train journey till the next day we binge talked about shitty movies we had watched, and any random topics that crossed our mind. She talked and talked and I was the one listening to her voice and being swept over every time she paused to take a breath.

Train reached Bangalore the next day and as Indians do, we were all lined up at the aisle to de-board the train. She was standing right next to me and I was with gathering courage from the Universe to ask for her number. Finally I climbed another 10 floors and asked her number. She gave me her number and I went with her till the auto stand from where her PG room was about 6kms, and I went to the bus station.

About 20mins later, I dropped her a text asking if she had reached. Not getting a response, I consoled myself and kept calm. Joined back my company and a couple of days later around 8PM when I was done with my work, I thought of trying out my luck.

Dialled her number and she picked up the call wondering who it is. I introduced myself, and she said she never expected my call as she has known people exchanging numbers on train not to speak again;

Me: Had that been the case I wouldn't have ever asked for your number.

She: Yes, true.

Me: What are you upto?

She: Was just having a chat with my friends and getting ready for dinner to be served at 8:30.

Me: What do you have generally for dinner?

And the discussion continued for another 10 minutes after which I thought I should disconnect my call lest she thinks I am a chipku. Before hanging up, she thanked me for calling and asked for my name so that she can save my number.

Phone calls became a daily affair and soon we fell in love with each other. We went for our first movie date a few months later. We enjoyed each others company to the max and I was overjoyed because I found the love I had been longing for. It was not at all sexual, we just enjoyed being loved by each other, it was all about the emotions.

Couple of months later, we decided to get our families talking for marriage. She told me, she grew up with her Nana and Nani thinking they are her parents but when in class 8 they told her that her real parents stay at a different place. She was numbed when she heard that and it was pretty difficult for her to accept the fact. But she still called her Nani Nani as 'Papa and Mama', and still preferred to travel back to them.

She informed her grandparents and they were all excited. I was all blush blush about the thought of meeting them for asking their daughter's hand till death did us apart.

I joined a new team in my company and I got super busy with my work and rarely did find time to talk to her. On weekends I preferred to stay at home and sleep. She was all understanding and she was excited every time I called her or met her. Months started passing by without we talking or meeting.

She called me one fine day saying that her dad is coming to Bangalore, I was one asshole to respond OK. I should have decked up myself to meet him. But no, my work had taken away from thoughts and this is where everything got screwed up. She would have thought I don't have any interest with her now and she proceeded to move on. One fine day (may be 6 months later)when I called her she said that her Dad had again come to Bangalore to meet a guy whom her colleague had set up. And she had been talking with him for a couple of weeks now.

I jumped off my seat in the office, scared. Yes, my worst fears came true, I have lost her. I requested her to give me one more chance, to which her response also sounded reasonable. If she asks her dad to meet me what will her dad think about her. I tried to ask for one last chance, accepted all my mistakes but she stood rock hard. She was once this butter for me who would melt with whatever I said. I must have done a hell lot of atrocities which turned her to this.

She never picked up my call knowing what I would be asking. I kept on texting her for a whole year regarding our meetings, times we spent but never did she ever respond. Come December 2016, I receive a text saying she is getting married in Feb 2017. I went numb, then I went insane. I tried to reach out to each of her friends who knew me. No one responded to my calls or Facebook texts. That's when I became sure that it was all my fault.

She kept her marriage event public on Facebook(I have been unfriended)I subtlely liked it and watched this damsel' photos crying hysterically and then smiling like an idiot.

PS: I don't blame her for choosing someone else over me. Not meeting and not giving a phone for months does signify not being interested. I never had a partner with whom I had felt the same I felt for her, so I behaved the same way I would with my friends or parents and then tell them that I was busy with work. And not having a lot of friends made me not understand human emotions. Life's lesson learnt. Wish her all health and wealth in life. I still love her madly and given a chance I would rush back to her to ask forgiveness and if she could come back in my life.

It's not that we broke up and now we shouldn't look at each other. I spent the best moments of my life with her, she made me laugh, had the most soothing touch when she held my hands, I felt good waiting for someone at a bus stop whih I had never felt.We drifted apart but we gave a portion of our lives to each other and it was for a good reason. You will still be in my heart, yes I will move on. I will find someone who will make me move over you, who will make me feel the same way I felt with you but you will still be sitting in my mind like a damsel when i first saw you in the train.

I WILL LOVE YOU TILL DEATH DID ME APART.