The Arcane Desire

I don't desire fame. I don't dream of wealth. You might find me eccentric but yes that's how I am. I am Saheeda. I'm 12. I live with my Amma and younger brother, Zunaid, in a small village near Avantipura in Kashmir. We have a not so huge saffron field which amma takes care of. I sometimes help her by watering the saplings, mixing the soil with the fertilizers and the like. In the last one year, harvest has not been so good. I knew why. The main architect behind this farm was now gone. My Abbu. He was so much dedicated towards his farm. He used to spend hours looking after the saffron plants, took so much care of them and at the end of the season harvested them and sang a happy song to whose tune, me and Zunaid used to dance. But it was that horrifying day of September, when our cheerful world turned into gruesome grey!

It was one year ago, a day in the month of September. The sun was covered by dark clouds the entire day. Me and my brother had struck off a controversy on whether it would rain or not that day. Time was not so good in Kashmir in those days. The whole city was panic-stricken because of the curfew. Each and every day there was news of numerous murders, protests, rallies, etc going on in almost every Street and every locality. School, colleges, offices and market places were shut down many months ago. I recalled how the soldiers marched on the streets, the rhythm matched with the one of Amma's heartbeat.

It was a good harvest that year but due to the curfew, all market places were shut down and we couldn't sell our reap anywhere. Abbu and Amma looked worried. I saw them sobbing in private and this brought tears in my eyes as well. I went indoors to console them. "Don't worry Abbu.. Allah watches over us all", I said. This brought a slight smile on his face. Amma patted my back and smiled. Suddenly there was a huge commotion outside and a loud shriek startled us! It was Zunaid! We all ran outside and saw a gang of "bad - looking" men holding Zunaid in their arms who was struggling to escape.

"Who are you people? What do you want? Why have you captured my young son? ", yelled Abbu. "Don't you remember Abdul mian.. I told you to join us in our freedom struggle against India but you were so reluctant. You are a traitor! You are no true son of our motherland!". Saying this they dropped Zunaid who ran frantically towards Amma, and came close towards Abbu. In no time Abbu was surrounded by about 15 men from all sides. Amma took me and Zunaid inside while Abbu struggled alone. He fought single handedly but was not enough. Abbu was captured and taken away by those "bad - men".

Almost a year has passed but we have heard nothing from Abbu. If he is even alive, I don't know. Why he was taken away, I don't know that either. Maybe I'm too young to understand what's going on but I understand this much that this is shattering people like us, ripping us apart. Last month, curfew was called off and normal life was restored in Avantipura. Atleast the newspapers say so. But can life be normal again without Abbu? The only thing my heart craves for is the harmonies of life which we four enjoyed together. I don't want anything else in my life but this, I want my Abbu back.