That Wait

                                    

I lay down to sleep. But my mind was wide awake. The blanket felt cold. The room suddenly lost its warmth. I had my mom and my brother on either side. Both as wide awake as owls, and lost in thoughts. Just like me. I was not alone, but I felt alone. I felt lonely. I felt sad. Worried. Scared. Because dad’s place was empty.

It all happened on the same day, afternoon. The sun was bright. Everyone, my dad, mom, brother and I were at home. The lunch was served. Everyone was talking and laughing about various things, and appreciating my mom for the delicious lunch. We all were having a very good time. I was also watching my favourite cartoon on T.V. For a minute, I forgot there’s a world outside cartoon and completely lost myself in it.

Suddenly, I heard a bang of a spoon on a plate. I turned to see the source of the sound. It came from my mom. She was staring at my dad, who was sitting opposite to her. There was fright in her eyes. Her hands were shaking. My dad had stopped eating too. He was frozen like a stone. His eyes wide open and moving in all directions as if to find what’s happening to him. His fingers tightened. He slowly moved his arm over his chest and slowly his chest expanded and he took deep breaths. 

“Wh-wh-what’s happening to y-you?” my mom asked my dad. Her voice cracking with every word and was barely above a whisper. Her eyes wide open, worried and shocked. 

I also wanted to ask my dad about what was happening to him. But this sudden change in him freaked me out. No words came out of my mouth. My body became rigid. My eyes on him and my whole mind blank. Somehow, I felt something terrible was going to happen. Something’s wrong with my dad. But what? What can I do about it? Everything I learned in school about how to deal with emergencies? Which numbers to dial? Where to call? Which remedies to use? Everything went in vain because none of these things flashed in my mind at that point in time. Just those questions made a traffic jam. I still did not believe what I was seeing and had no idea what to do. So I stayed as I was. As rigid as a statue.

Then as if dad got my thoughts, he tried to answer, but his words came out nonsensical. Then many things happened: my dad was taken to the hospital, where he got treatment for his high BP (Blood Pressure) issue, and then was kept there for some days. I was so frozen by that shock to understand any of these.

But that night, when I laid down to sleep with just my mom and brother when my dad was in the hospital. I was thinking of none of these things. only the thought that my dad was not with me. The thought that my dad was inches away from leaving me alone forever. The thought that how sad, unhappy, meaningless the house was without him, was eating me from inside. The thoughts were terrible.

I laid down to sleep but felt no comfort, rest or calm. My heart felt heavy. Eyes fighting back tears. Not a single sound out of my mouth. Not willing to worry my mom more than she already was. I tried to console myself. I tried to believe dad was still with me. But the whole night, I laid awake, thinking about my dad. I had to spend a long time till he came back. That wait. Each second felt like an hour.