The Odd Couple

She: Hi

He: Hi

She: I got an invite for a reality show.

He: Great! You participating

She: yes, I want to. But this is for a couple.

He: Oh! So?

She: will you be my Valentine?

He: Me, oh no! is this a new marrowing line?

She: No yaar. Be my Romeo just for this reality show.

He: lemme think. Will tell you tomorrow.

Next morning

He: Ok. We will date in preparation for the reality show.

She: send me your resume not the one for job application but all that your Juliet needs to know. I will do the same.

He: will do by EOD.

His phone bings in the night at 10 pm. He finds an attachment. Likewise, her phone bings and she too finds an attachment.

He starts reading.

My name is Shreya. Call me Ray. I must make a confession. I prefer girls. But for the reality show my choice would be too shocking. So, I asked you. After all, we need to pretend like we are dating. No baggage. Of course, I do not mind holding your hands and putting my arm around your waist or you doing the same. This is in so far as getting physical is concerned. Metaphysically speaking I would appeal to the ‘yin’ inside of you to comfort and meet me. I have a sister younger to me who prefers boys. My mother is a divorcee but friends with her ex. My father is remarried and I quite like my step mom. Is that incestual? I wonder sometimes. My favorite numbers are 6 and 9 for the obvious reasons. I like pink and hate oranges the color variety for the obvious reasons too. Together we can look at girls and hang around Christ or Mt Carmel colleges. As an introduction this would suffice.

She downloads the attachment and starts reading. 

I am Ramanujam, Ram in short. When you wanted to date with me initially it was a shock to me. I must confess I am in love with Peter, a colleague at office. I have not told him as yet, waiting for the Valentine’s day. My progressive parents know my preference and waiting to see their son-in-love. I hope you don’t mind that my inclination is not meant for you and it is ok with you. Afterall we are only got to pretend for this reality show. I can barely hug you and don’t think of a kiss. I don’t mind holding hands briefly to communicate with the audience. Don’t imagine anything further. My favourite number is 6 and 9 for the obvious reasons. My favourite colour is lavender and I hate saffron for the obvious reasons. We can hang around Christ and St Joseph Boys colleges and ogle at boys together. Hope you don’t mind. More when we meet in person.

She saw his response. It was a cool emoji.

He saw her response. It was a cool emoji.

Their chemistry sparked. Their yin and yang were in perfect physical balance. Their maths was a perfect zero, nor negative or positive. 

I would leave it to the reader to decide what fate awaited the date of Ram and Ray and if they made their (un)reality show a success.