RELY ON MY OWN

“Mom can I go out and celebrate my birthday with my friends at the mall this year, please?” said a sweet voice. “Then came an immediate reply “no way you’re not going anywhere. You are just a 16year girl. What if something happens to you?” said her mother.

Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Tong Shan-Shan. My biggest phobia is marriage. Whenever I think about marriage freak out. I literally hate it. My parents love me and I love them but they love me too much that sometimes It’s even hard to breathe. At least I thought that. I guess I gave a pretty long introduction so where was I.

 Mom’s words made me very angry. I rushed towards my room and slammed the door. Mom came right behind me and opened the door and before she could say anything I yelled at her “Mom I have told you so many times to knock before entering my room. Why don’t you listen to me? I need some privacy of my own.”

 But mom just ignored my words and said “Stop banging the door so loudly. There are other people too who are getting disturbed by the noise you are creating.” As she was about to leave, she said “By the way, I don’t think you need any privacy. I am your mother. What do you have to hide from me. Besides, you are only 16, stop talking like you’re a grown-up. And yeah, even if I knock it's not like you will get privacy. I have a camera in your room, remember!”

 Yup you read it right I had a camera in my room all these years. I can’t have any privacy. Luckily, I don’t have a camera in my bathroom. So, whenever I want some privacy, I usually go to the bathroom. All in all, I stay most of my day in the washroom. Sounds pretty weird right. I think so too.

 Her cold and expressionless voice rang in my ears for a long time. By the time I had come to my senses, she was long gone. I had no idea what to say. I was literally speechless. I didn’t know what to do with her.

 I wasn’t not allowed to step out of the house. Whenever I’d go out, either it was for school, classes or shopping. I was always locked at home and couldn’t go outside on will. I had been suffering this imprisonment for a long time and as a result I had gone into depression. I stopped talking to everyone, kept myself closed in a room all day long. I would eat very less and was not even attracted to my favorite food even after being known as the most foody person in the family. I would do nothing except sitting in a corner.

When my parents saw this, they started taking me to different doctors to get me out of depression. She also hired many private doctors but none worked. My family was well to do so they could afford it. With time I came out of depression but not because I was surrounded by doctors all day but because I realized that my parents love me and were concerned about me so I felt warm in my heart.

In school, I was perfect in my studies and topped my class every year since I remember. I had also taken part in many activities and won many prizes. My portfolio was thick. I was known as the all-rounder in class. I was perfect in every way whether it was studies, beauty, activities, sports, discipline, etc.

 I also had friends but they were all girls. I wasn’t allowed to make a friend of the opposite gender. I didn’t need it so I didn’t care either. Even if I wanted to, I wasn’t allowed to. My parents didn’t allow me to make one. I was already grateful that I was at least allowed to make friends. I found it very annoying but I didn’t mind much. I thought they just did that because they were worried about me and didn’t want me to become a part of the wrong group.

My friends weren’t that close to me. Since I was famous all around the school, I knew that they used to be with just for the sake of some limelight. I didn’t mind that. I shared all my secrets in my diary. It had all my moments of happiness and sorrows.

 Just two more years were left to finish school. Then I would finally be in college. I was so excited. I thought that since I would become an adult by the time I reach college, I would be allowed to go to a different city to continue my studies. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. After I had completed my school, I asked them about it and they gave me an NOOOOOO…… along with a big lecture.

But since I had come out of depression, I was way much stronger this time. I was determined to leave this city for further studies not only because I wanted to get out of there but also because I had got a full scholarship offer from the best college in Mumbai. So, I had no choice but to threaten them.

 I warned my parents “If you won’t allow me to go then I would kill myself.” Of course, they had to agree after that.

They bought me a house in Mumbai and helped to shift there. They also gave me monthly expense for food, electricity, water, shopping and other necessities.

 I didn’t want to take money from them all my life. I decided that after I finish college I would depend on my own. I won’t take a single penny from my parents. So, I started saving money. I also started a part time job in a coffee shop nearby. I had limited amount of money so it was hard for me to save.

As my savings grew, my marks reduced. I was able to focus less on my studies. At the end, I had to quit my job. But I knew this wouldn’t work. So, I started thinking of another way. At the end, I started selling copies of my notes. I was earning a lot this way. In fact, it was more than I earned in the café and was way much easier.

 My notes were easily sold because I was a topper in college too so everyone wanted it and they were ready to accept it for high prices too. After two years, I had enough savings to buy a huge house for myself.

Obviously, my parents knew nothing about it because if they know it, they would drag me home instantly. By time I earned a post graduate degree I had a lot of money up my sleeves.

 I returned home after that and lived there for about a week only before my father announced my marriage in a family richer than my father’s. Then only I got to know that this marriage was decided the day I was born. I was pissed when I learnt about the truth.

 The only thing I didn’t want in my life was marriage. I was very angry. I told my parents that I won’t marry anyone and even if I marry someday, I will be choosing my own life partner. And oh my god they were so angry that I nearly peed my pants. I had never seen them so angry. I quickly went to my room and shut the door. I didn’t know what to do. For the rest the day that day I stayed in my room.

Next morning, the same topic was brought up. I knew if I didn’t say anything then they would surely sell me off. I had to think of a way to get out of this. I thought about it for some time and then finally spoke up. I used the same trick I used to go to college. I threatened them again. I told them if they try to marry me off, I will run away.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…………………     Suddenly everyone present in the room was silent. No one spoke a word. A person could hear a pin drop. I tried to know what they were thinking through their expressions but was left disappointed. Their face was expressionless.

I took their silence as an agreement. Maybe I was overconfident or something. As soon as I tried to break the silence again by saying something, my father said “we have not asked for your opinion and you can’t run away from it. If the tong family merges with the Wei family, we will earn a lot of benefits and profits from this. So, this marriage is very important for the tong family. We had considered sending you to college in another city as your last wish before marrying you off. You should be thankful to us for not killing you even after being a girl. You owe the tong family a lot so you better pay for it now. We have already decided everything, you are getting married next month. I will send some money to your mother’s account. She would help you shop for the wedding clothes.”

 Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…………………………………..

A pin drop silence once again. No one knew what I was feeling right now and they didn’t care.

 Now everything was clear to me. They had always been overprotective for me not because they cared about me but because they needed me for this promotion. In reality they never loved me.

Tears rolled down as I ran towards my room and shut the door. I couldn’t get it. Were they still my parents who were worried about me all day long. My mind was totally blank. I didn’t know what to do. I cried all day while writing in my diary. This was the first time I was so upset in all these years.

I had no one by my side. I felt as if the world had abandoned me. For the next few days, I did not go out of my room and didn’t talk to anyone.

 After calming down I decided to run away. I always wanted to work in google company headquarters which was in USA. I brought a small apartment online. I gave an online interview in the company and got easily approved with my portfolio and qualifications. I was offered a higher position than I had applied for so I was more than happy. I asked them if I could start working next month and they agreed. I booked a ticket to USA and started packing my luggage secretly.

 I had to be very cautious because if my parents get even a little idea of what I am planning then they would send bodyguards to make sure I can’t go anywhere. I went to shopping with my mom and pretended as if nothing was going on. This went on and on for a week till it was time to leave.

 I wrote a letter which said, “Dear mom and dad, thank you for taking care of me for all these years. What you said was right. I owe you both a lot. You have spent a lot to make me what I am today. I have always obeyed to you both and always took you guys as my first priority. But now I have grown up. I hope you can let me be who I am. I cannot accept this marriage because I don’t like the man you selected for me. I don’t want to depend on a man all my life. I want to carve a path of my own and establish my own career. I know after this you would want everything back that you gave me. Don’t worry. I have thought about it. From now on at the end of every year I will transfer 1,000,000 in your account till I am alive. I am leaving this place. I will not return here anymore. I won’t depend on you. I won’t take a single penny from you from now on. I hope you would understand. I am sorry for causing you trouble. Regards Shan-Shan.” I kept the letter on the front desk of my room and silently left.

 I was on the way to the airport feeling strange. I couldn’t understand whether to be happy or sad. I felt as if a new life and a new path was waiting for me but I was very sad to leave the home I grew in. maybe this is the reality of life. One needs to sacrifice something in order to gain something. I sacrificed my past to start my new independent life.

 I reached the airport and boarded the flight. This week was drastic and I was very tired and soon I was past asleep.

 When I woke up there was an announcement which said that we were about to land in five mins. “I was in USA!”, I excitedly exclaimed. I think I was too loud when I did that because the passengers around me started looking at me as if I was a fool. I apologized everyone as I laughed sheepishly.

As soon as the flight landed, I quickly collected my luggage and rushed to the house.

 I still had two weeks before I start working. In these two weeks I brought the furniture, brought daily necessities, visited all the famous places around and settled myself. I also made a friend named Lucy. She was sweet and pretty talented. We got along quite well.

 Sometimes I also missed my parents and decided to give them a call. But every time I thought of it, every time I backed down.

 Two weeks later I visited the company and started working. I was excellent and everyone appreciated me. I resulted in getting promoted soon and soon. There were many people who were jealous of me. Many people thought as if I was an angel from heaven sent on earth. They tried numerous ways to affect me and harm me but I was too smart for them.

Soon I had enough money to start my own company. I also brought a big villa with my friends in which me and my three closest friends: Lucy, Harry and Jack lived together.

 It was not like I couldn’t afford that villa on my own but because I didn’t like to live alone and I felt quite warm with my friends around me. Our villa was a 6BHK with a private pool and garden attached.

My company rose with leaps and bounds at a terrific speed. I also brought a car for myself I was good in business but I was not satisfied. I wanted more. I started to develop many hobbies and practiced a lot. I started dancing, singing, skating, swimming and any more activities. By the time I was 35 I had won many championships in Olympics. Within 12 years I had reached the pinnacle. This didn’t affect my company. By the time I was forty I was the richest businesswoman all over the world and was one on the top ten richest people. My friends also rose with me and were a part of top 30 richest people. As for my parents, they got bankrupted and came to me in the end apologizing. Even though I was still angry with them I took them in after all they were my biological parents so, I couldn’t leave them in a lurch. They started dotting on me as I was responsible for their living now so they didn’t dare to offend me anymore. It was hard for me at first but I gradually forgave them over time.