Operation Success, Doctor Failed

She was too tired coming from the hospital after a complicated surgery. The operation was successful and the patient also narrowly escaped death. She had spent sleepless nights over this case. Inspire of everything she could not enjoy her success just due to her fatigue. Immediately entering the house she put herself on the sofa and closed her eyes.

It was not even ten seconds that she closed her eyes that she felt something unusual inside the house. Her mind wanted to see what it was but her eyelashes pleaded for rest. They refused to open. She remained unmoved for some time but could not get sleep due to this inner disturbance. Minutes passed by but nothing changed. After a few minutes of silence, there was a buzzing sound near her.  She had to get up to see what it was though there was no curiosity in her to know about it. She was that tired. She felt a touch on her feet, maybe her imagination. But this time she listened to the warning signal from inside and opened her eyes with many constraints. She was shocked to see a man just moving away from her. He stood still just a foot away from her.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"Don't you remember me? I am Dhamu, Dhamodhar, son of Kamal Nath, your dad's friend." His declaration was so formal and expressionless.

Oh! that mental Dhamu!

But how was he there at this time? Had I forgotten to close the door? She looked at the door and it was closed. He could have entered behind her and she might have missed him. That was possible taking his mental conditions and her physical tiredness into consideration. 

But why was he there? What could be his purpose? She was not in a mood to analyze. Also, there was no point in finding reasons for the deeds of such persons. She knew that pretty well but this was the first time she saw him after so many years. They were after all childhood friends but that also he had to remind her. There could be no chance for them to meet after she had left her village as their lives got diverted beyond imagination. Yes, she became a doctor traveling to far off places and his movements were restricted within a darkroom in his house.

She straightened herself. Something was wrong. With him or with her? "Okay, tell me why you have come to my house?"

"Don't you remember me? Have you forgotten those days we were playing together?

She did not respond. She did not want to. No use. He was not present in a state of any normal understanding. Now her only problem was how to manage him at this odd hour and send him out without hurting him. It seemed to be a Herculean task in front of her. 

"Yes, you have forgotten. But I haven't. My mom also tells me so."

She closed her eyes again in tiredness. He seemed unmoved.

"Raghav asked me to come back soon. I should go." He was a little thoughtful in his words. But did he really mean anything in what he was saying? His conversation was so much uncorrelated.

She wanted to bring some sense into the things happening around her. "Do you want coffee?"

He said, "yes" She knew that he would respond to such things. Luckily there was coffee leftover in the flask. He drank in one gulp. As soon as he finished she asked, "okay, tell me what you want. What made you come here? Where are you living? In this town? Where's your house?"

"Yes, I live only in this city. But I saw you only today." He was astonishingly clear in this answer. Sometimes it happens.

"I want to live with you here," the very next moment he came out with himself.

"What do you mean? I am married and living with my husband. How can you think of staying here?"

He did not appear to have any reaction. "I want you. Chandan told me that you belong to me and only to me. Uncle also told me."

"Who are they to tell you all this nonsense?" Her irritation did not mean anything to him.

"Kishan uncle. Don't you know him? Don't you remember you met him at my house?"

She could not recollect any of those things that he was talking about. It was shocking news for her that he was mad at her.

She could understand how big his childhood craze had been nurtured by the lazy, useless, irresponsible members of his society into an irrecoverable loss to his life. She had, to a certain extent, the knowledge of the behaviour of such mental patients. The same society which was keen on exploiting his innocence and ignorance had been cruel to him in denying freedom even in his daily chores. He certainly would not have been allowed to have an enjoyable experience. The society had never learnt to sympathize with these people even if it was the reason for their conditions. Knowingly or unknowingly she was also a part of that society. She hated to think of it but it was a fact. 

She could not control her smile when the thought of the contrast between the situations both were facing at that time crossed her mind. 

She did not know whether he took her smile for any acceptance, he continued, "I want to marry you."

Shock aftershock! Did he know the implications of what he was talking about? She tried to remain calm, "I am already married."

There was silence on his side for some minutes. At last, he understood, she thought.

Yes, she could remember now that a friend of hers was talking to her once about a person who lost control over his mind because of his love failure. That conversation was still fresh in her mind. Her friend narrated his story without disclosing any identity of the persons involved but both of them regretted the way in which his life had been spoilt for trivial reasons. She never imagined that it could be herself mentioned in the story. Now that very same fact hit her face cruelly.

He reiterated his plea, "can you marry me?" without changing the tone. She observed the stiffness in his tone. Almost every dialogue was expressionless. Did he mean anything when he talked? Why was that mundane expression? But he was stubborn in getting a reply from her. Obviously he had a purpose. But he lacked emotional display in the execution. Was it excessive ego or lack of self-respect?

What was all this nonsense - stupid analysis? She scoffed at herself. Immediately she had to find a way to get rid of him. That should be her concern and nothing else could bother her. Though she made a decision her mind did not cooperate. She began to feel extremely tired. Added to that she started feeling hungry too. She had literally nothing after breakfast. She had taken a tablet for her killing headache after finishing the surgery and before coming home. Okay, leave everything aside and go for dinner, she thought.

"Do you want anything to eat? Are you not feeling hungry?"

"No."

"Okay, I am hungry. I am going to eat. If you want you can join me for dinner," with the declaration she went to the dining room. He stood still in his place just staring at nothing. What sort of a guy was he? 'No, I should leave all this analysis and just concentrate on what should be done to drive him away.'

She started eating without raising her head to see what he was doing. The latest conversation she had with the friend from her village crossed her mind. "You know? His mother is moaning daily, 'What a wonderful person turned out to be what he is now! All due to that bitch. She has ruined him completely. She can never have a good life' and so on." but she never disclosed who that bitch was. "If he gets married he may become normal. If he becomes normal he can get married. It's a pity that he got caught up in the vicious circle." Maybe she wanted an outlet for her feelings.

"Was that bitch a problem for him? Or could it be sex?" Her innocent query also flashed through her mind now. She bothered neither about him not about the bitch that day. Could it have been a warning from her friend?

Her total medical knowledge about the mental patients seemed to be inadequate at the moment. How long could she pretend to avoid him? She had to face him again once she finished her dinner. She mustered some courage and strength and moved from the dining table. He was still standing in the same place still staring at her. She was a little bit scared. No, she only had to solve her problem. Her husband was on some tour and she could not expect him to come to her rescue that day.

As soon as she came out of the dining room he asked again, "will you marry me?" She started getting irritated.

"I am asking you, won't you marry me?"

"Can't you understand? That's not possible," her irritation got translated into her voice.

He stood unmoved not appearing to have understood anything else.

"Can you think of going back to your house? It's too late now."

He did not bother to give any response. What to do now?

She could not think of going into the bedroom and lying in the bed just in front of him. She was confused about whether to get irritated with him or to sympathize with him. Was he dangerous or pathetic? 

She was so tired at that time that her brain refused to go further with any analysis. She was badly in need of good sleep. She could not think of manhandling him. That could end up with unwanted results. She could find a resort only on the sofa. She rested herself on its back. She wanted to close her eyes but seeing him coming towards her made her eyes wide open.

He sat near her and touched her on the shoulder. She did not say anything but an involuntary smile was on her lips. Did she feel anything melting inside her? She was nevertheless cautious and took his hands away from her shoulder. He took her hands in his and smiled at her as if responding to hers. Yes, he was thirsty for love from someone. The world around him never cared for him. 

She started feeling drowsy and pulling her hands from his told him in a feeble voice that she was going to sleep. Even before completing her sentence she closed her eyes.

She was not in a position to assess anything that he could do. She did not know whether she resisted him or allowed him. Even her slightest resistance she could think of turned out to be very weak before his madness. She could feel him on her but by the time she could realise what was happening to her she heard a click of the front door. All the drowsiness and sleepiness left her suddenly and even before settling in her seat she saw her husband in front of her. 

If she expected her husband not to react to an unknown person moving away from her she would be considered a fool or abnormal. She knew it pretty well but how was she going to explain herself to him?

Her husband took him by his collar and hit him in his face with instant anger that was flooding through each and every nerve in his body. He fell down. She mumbled in a low voice, "he is a mental patient."

"So what?" he yelled. She was speechless.

"Get out" he shrieked at the highest pitch possible. "I am going to hand over you to the police."

She slowly mustered some courage to speak, "where can he go at this odd hour? I'll ask him to go in the dawn as soon as possible ." She could not believe herself getting the courage to utter those words in support of an almost stranger though her own voice was not audible to herself. 

"No," he yelled again, "so you are also in the game. I can't wait anymore. He has to get out and...... you too immediately."

"He is mentally disabled. He doesn't know what he's doing," she knew that that excuse was not adequate to support either of them. "Please give me some time to explain to you," she pleaded weakly.

"Damn you. Go to hell. I don't want to see you again. If I see you both in the morning I am not responsible for any consequences." He entered his room and banged on the door behind him.

"I am sorry, I am going. I don't want to spoil your life," said Dhamodhar and exited through the front door like a flash. 

There she stood still staring at the vacuum she herself had created.

A few months later she heard that Dhamodhar got settled in his life with a decent job and a happy marriage. Of course, she felt happy about that. Yes, he got a new life at the cost of her life, but what about her? Still staring at the window for a fresh breath she had forgotten for months.