One Good Reason Of Coming Back

One Good Reason Of Coming Back

4 mins
8.3K


You know when it’s the time to put down yourself on pen and paper, when it’s the time to consider yourself in words and reconsider your situations, go through those perfectly written lines what kept you driving crazy all this time. Unwanted creepy crawlers, words, randomly popping up in front of your eyes every now and then! You don’t decorate your mind frame anymore. You just start penning down or typing like never before! May be this is the first time or it might be the last time. All you want is to pen down yourself like one never ending story. All of a sudden you start feeling like a proper birthday cake. Like every year, without any delay, served right on the table, all decked up to be cut. But this time you start putting on confetti of words. Some are sweet like candies, some very real like dark chocolates and some are just like-that, a drizzle of confused caramel!

And why do you do all of this baking and setting the table right, trying to make that beautiful cake at all!! There is a reason. Of course there is! It’s a beautiful reason that’s connected to your core.

“I’m not leaving you here alone mom!!” Yes.. you know exactly how it makes you feel! You just went through a severe breakdown. Reasons are not anymore reasonable but are obnoxious habits! Sick! Sick and tiring even to yourself. May be they are addictions now! You just had a breakdown. Your body is still in a state of shock.

What was it that suddenly made you feel so lonely? So many outcasts from this cheerful, lively planet! Yes, it made you feel like galaxies away from all kinds of cacophonies, from human tantrums and joy and affection, salty tears or your very own sweat. Apprehended dynamics of life changed in a minute!

Why? Don’t ask!! There are no more reasons left to be considered. Those are just sick, old habits. Staying alone, collecting every lost pieces of you, all messy though, you connect each piece, dot-to-dot, you put on a very brave mask to cover bruised mind, scary andexis a confused soul, a very torn out existence, trying to be happy when there is no reason at all! But it’s a choice and that choice is an obligation now because that’s the way they taught you.

They have been telling you every day. They think they are so strong not to get affected by any turbulence. They are like 1000 years old trees standing strong, heads held high, straight to their solid spines, so tall, so far away from your kind of everything, yet so close and deep into the ground. They have the sky and the earth both. They are Gods, you know that! They are very special human beings at least! You feel so small in front of them, you outcast yourself each moment! These are just old bruised habits now.

You start curling up in your stomach that feels empty as much as your head inside. Doors slam on your face. There goes the darn busy, human designed world, its special species, trashing their pain, having no complaints, all is fine and they chant, “whiners go and die". You hear that?

Yes. They are on the other side of the door! What would you do now? You know you have been trying getting up on your shaken feet, trying to embrace your defeat. Trying to still move on, trying consoling the fact that you are fighting this battle alone, because you are alone!

They have every right to move on without you, they have every right to live just like the rules have been designed for a perfect human world. They have every right to put up an exhibition of how independent, strong, vibrant, contagiously happy and updated they are! But wait!! You know you kept working on yourself to be one of them all these years but was that necessary at all? You never knew! But you still tried. You are behaved and trained with time, wise enough to understand they don’t see your effort! Your bruises are old enough and fading away on their own as time has moved on. You know you were left behind. You are alone very much.

Hustle and bustle of peppy special beings! All just seem so far away from a lonely planet like you. Silence within yourself has made you into a partial deaf. And then you hear her! So unexpected was that, you know only! You thought it’s a mirage! You didn’t bother to even look back but you heard her saying again,

“I’m not leaving you here alone mom”.

You get up, still shaken much, your dry mouth and empty stomach, thirsty and hungry as never before. Cold soul longing for warm hugs, you want to lean on to those small but strong shoulders now. You smell your milk. You become like a baby. All that you have been looking for all these light years was love! Safe arms to curl up yourself in them, rest, and fall in sleep to wake up as one unadulterated you once again!

“I’m not leaving you here alone mom!!” You know when you start penning down yourself! Now! Now! Like never before."


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