One Bright Sunny Day

Looking out the window of the new apartment which she now called home, Sreeja mulled over the happenings of the past few days.

In a flash, it was all done.

Although the shenanigans of persuading a family with antediluvian views had now ended... Sreeja worried whether she had her daughter's approval on her second marriage.

Of course, Neerja had always maintained cordial relations with her mother. But the truth was that more than a month had already passed since the wedding, and her daughter was yet to visit her at her new abode.

'Neerja has maintained a quiet distance from me', she thought. 'She did join me in the marriage registration court, but her eyes seemed to show disapproval for the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Did she buy into the false rumours doing rounds? Did I make the right choice? And could I have handled this better?'

As a person, Sreeja was sociable. People loved her company, and she was quite proactive in sports as well. In fact, she frequently participated in volleyball matches. Sadly, her community frowned upon the idea of a second marriage. And because of that, she had to deal with a lot of flak for wanting to live the next chapter of her life unapologetically.

Thankfully, Sreeja had spent the first half of her married life with Ranjan who actively admonished dogmatic societal norms. Norms that served only men and forced women to relinquish their desires to live on independent terms.

Now swiping through the photos on her phone's gallery Sreeja paused at the family picture that was taken in Bangalore. This was just about the time when Neerja had begun her first job, and both(Ranjan and her) of them were there to celebrate Neerja's birthday. Thinking back... they'd always been together on birthdays, and her eyes now welled up looking at the picture.

‘Ranjan was always forward in his thinking and had never encouraged antiquated societal ideas onto our daughter's mind. Neerja has grown to be an independent woman, and her life does not depend solely on men or marriage', she thought.

‘We brought her up such that she loved everyone but did not expect or depend on anyone to make her life comfortable. She did get married to the person she chose, even though I begged her not to. I was too afraid to face our community who, at the time, were unaccepting of inter-caste marriages. Everything feels so blurred now though. It took me a while to accept her marriage in my own heart, but somewhere deep down I think it also healed me to move on with my life. Yet, in the midst of the chaos, I hope I didn’t inadvertently push aside Neerja's opinions. Honestly, did I even have a patient discussion with her? Or was I in such a rage with everything about the world, that I failed to even consider lending an ear to my daughter's opinion.’

Both Neerja and Sreeja had unexpectedly, lost their backbone when Ranjan succumbed to a cardiac arrest in Kerala where they were attending a family function, six years ago. Sreeja decided to let Neerja join her work the very next day because she did not want her training affected. Sreeja was very particular about Neerja not taking her career and studies lightly. Both Ranjan and Sreeja wanted her to excel in life.

‘What's for lunch today?' asked Manoj, Sreeja's husband.

Sreeja was brought back from her reverie to reality. She had taken the decision of marrying Manoj after a year-long of vacillating between, whether marrying a second time, was a good idea or not. Their meeting was arranged by a common friend who had planted the idea of considering a partner for the next season of their lives.

Manoj had lost his wife to cancer a couple of years back. He had two beautiful children, Jyothika (now married), who lived in a different city, and a son, Sudhir who was pursuing his Masters in the U.S. Manoj didn't want to burden his children, and the grief of losing his wife wasn't helping him either. So he decided to remarry someone who shared a similar wavelength as him.

Sreeja smiled and pointed to the dining table saying ‘Sambar Rice', and she switched off the screen of her phone along with her thoughts, to join Manoj for lunch.

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‘I wonder if I should really go to Amma's house. I did not want to visit her until his children came in at least once and visited him. It does not feel right. I hope his children will not be displeased with my visit. It is after all their house. They had even told me that their aunt was unapproving of their father's decision. And for that reason, she hadn't been present at the court.' Neerja pondered.

Let's stop at the bakery for some cake. I have not informed Amma that we are visiting today', Neerja uttered nervously to Shantanu's wife, Neelima, while Shantanu was driving them to Sreeja's house.

Neerja, being a single child, had developed a very strong bond to her cousin, Shantanu. But Neelima was also nothing short of being a lifeline for Neerja through her struggles. In fact, Neelima was a strong woman with bold opinions and would always give Neerja a reality check whenever she needed one. After the loss of her father, Neerja grew close to Neelima and had shared with her, all her fears, doubts and struggles just as intimate friends would. And it was Neelima who had assured Neerja that visiting her mother would be a great idea.

‘Neeru, stop biting your nails. Go on. Set the location on the Google Maps app for Shantanu to receive the driving directions. You know you're over analysing this. Give that little brain of yours some rest and let's enjoy this delicious cake now'.

Neerja had a habit of biting nails whenever she was nervous.

‘What cake should we buy?'

‘The birthday girl likes pineapple!'

‘But we like chocolate so we will buy chocolate', smiled Neerja.

‘Chocolate it is then', said Rishabh, Neerja's friend and now husband headed off to the bakery.

‘I am so lucky to have these beautiful people in my life', thought Neerja. ‘I only hope I am not betraying Appa by doing going to their house.'

Neerja shook her head trying to drive away the thought.

‘No, he would not feel betrayed, he was a logical man, and he would not have any problem with what I am doing. I just hope if he can see me if, at all he can, he knows I love him. I love him so much. I am trying to hold it all together, my emotions and my relationships with people which are falling apart. I hope he is not disappointed in me. I hope I did not go ahead take decisions that would have been unacceptable to him. Why do I feel so empty? Why do I not want to go to her house? I feel so sick in my stomach. When will all this end? When will my relatives stop gossiping and go about with their lives? They have made such ridiculous remarks on Amma getting remarried. They said she can live alone. Like they know it all. Who are they to decide who can do what? What is their problem? It's not as if they are here now trying to help us get through. They are poisoning my mind against Amma as if I would go against her. The only person I regret hurting in this ordeal is Chitappa (Ranjan's brother). We had such a beautiful relationship before mom's decision to remarry. Only if he could understand that this would not be such a bad idea. He is so worried sick about me that he feels my life is ruined. How can it be?' I just hope Chitappa feels better. At present, all I am feeling is conflict. And, oh, Mr Manoj's kids are still not comfortable. I hope I do not agonise them further by going to their house in their absence. It's okay, it does not matter. Breathe. We will go there cut the cake and return. This is so weird. Did I ever think I would feel so awkward visiting Amma? I call her, but it is so painful sometimes to listen to the details of her routine now, that I block her in my mind and just listen to her words. Like all of this is not real. I was so crazy at the court on the wedding day, I wanted to feel happy for Amma, but I felt so empty. I was feeling so suffocated, I could not feel my feet after a while. I had received so many messages from Chitappa. He felt so hurt. He felt Amma was leaving the family. I do not know how I will fix all these broken hearts and relationships. How can I help Amma more without hurting myself? Oh, why did I grow up? Why did Appa go? Why did all this happen?'

‘Okay, we are here!' exclaimed Shantanu breaking Neerja's train of thought. ‘All of you go ahead while I park the car here!'

‘It's the tenth floor, isn't it?' Neerja asked Neelima.

‘Yes, it is! And will you please stop devouring your nails, Neeru?'

They reached the tenth floor and rang the doorbell.

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Sreeja was just heading for lunch when she heard the bell.

‘Who could it be now?', asked Sreeja. She put down her spoon to see who was at the door.

Just then there was a loud chorus ‘Happy Birthday!' and there they were, those familiar faces all smiling at her.

Neerja had finally come. Sreeja's happiness knew no bounds. Neerja saw her mother and all her doubts melted away.

"How could I even think of not visiting her? They are both my parents, and they have spent all their lives in making me what I am today. How did I even think that supporting Amma in her remarriage would be betraying Appa? I was not born to people who were puppets of society. And no matter what, I always will be their child."

‘Happy Birthday, Amma', wished Neerja hugging her mother.

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