My Short Dream

   In this chaotic world full of hustle we long for time that brings us real happiness and satisfy our soul . This is the story of such a short dream that I lived and will always treasure as moments of happiness in my life.

     

   That day was Sunday. I was slightly free on that day. My week has been monotonous. Just my mind was looking for something new that made me some what engaged. I love conversations with a strangers. So I downloaded this application from playstore which matches you with your personality types. Mine is a infj personality. Some matches came I talked them few . But no one interested me enough. There was a guy named ansh who was a event manager based in Delhi. On his insistence I dropped my instagram Id on his chat . I got busy and was not able to use the application till evening. I decided to delete the app the next day as it served me no purpose.

   Two days later I got a direct message from ansh on my Instagram . Just I opened and saw his apology that if he said something wrong that I blocked him. I reassured him that I did not and I had deleted the app.

    Ansh was a soft spoken guy his words were always soothing. We started chatting and I asked him to video call to see if he is the same person as the picture of his he has sent to me. Though he was busy in his schedule. He would find time to talk to me. Days went by we became close. The emotional feelings and attachments grew stronger. He knew I am married and was upset at times because of it I could feel that. Yet he was moody and would talk good for two days and then go in a cocoon with minimal talking for some days. I could feel he was struggling with some financial and personal issues. Being a sensitive and overthinker it also started affecting me.

  I offered him to help as I can. I bought him food on his busy days. He would appreciate that too much . Yet a doubt about him always lingered at back of my mind what if he is a scammer and he is after money. Yet his soul was truthful. I don't know what it was but the urge to make him happy was too strong for me .

   Days passed by he insisted on meeting . The thought of meeting him made me nervous. I had few online friendships but I had never met anyone in real. I am not that brave woman . I started to worry and told him it's too early to meet. But he somehow convinced me to meet.

    The D day was decided . We decided to meet in another city. As the date came near my anxious personality took over. I never had done anything like this. There I was all ready that afternoon knocking at his door. I had few hours at my disposition . I want to make most of it as I also longed to be loved. The door was open he was sitiing in the chair. His smile greeted me and asked me to come inside.

   Though I was pleased to meet him I noticed that he was handicapped to some extent . His wrist and hands smaller than normal and they were weak. Same with the foot and the toes. He yet seemed undisturbed by that. Deep in my heart I felt a pang he should have told me about his disability . But I decided to put it on hold. Yet my heart was restless . Our eyes met. He was a simple guy . He kept staring at me for some time and really asked if I was that much older . He took my arm and made me sit on his lap. I touched his face with my palms. I felt reassured. I let go myself in that moment. He was gentle yet full of love. I just felt love no lust . No man had touched me like that with so much gentleness . I am difficult to feel the touch yet he made me feel so much. I lay in his arms for few hours . I forgot everything in that few hours. My mind was at peace .

     I asked him of his disability . He answered that it happened when he was 18 yrs old due to some infection . Yet he can do everything as the other normal person so he didn't consider a disability. I admired his strength. It was time for me to leave. With heavy heart I stepped out his eyes following me. The way he looked at me made my heart miss a beat. We promised to meet again this time soon.

      He changed something in me . My heart never felt so content . His love and touch were enough for me who keeps searching for something . I went back into my world where responsibility meant everything , where no one asked how I felt , doing the same things daily with no feeling of love from the partner. We continued to connect through social media. One month passed by we were not able to meet. Things between us were good emotionally .

    One day he didn't responded to message . I got worried. Once he said if I didn't get the message from him for 8 days then think that he is dead. That feeling made my heart heavy. I waited for days. His mobile was switched off. I feared the worst. Either he ghosted me or he is dead. I don't want to believe the latter. I wish him happiness wherever he is. Yet my soul need a confirmation that he is okay even if he doesn't want to stay connected with me.

     Unanswered messages and the questions leave void that can never be fulfilled . This was my short dream that I am happy I got to live it. People come and go in your life what matters is how you feel with them how they make you feel. Thats what you remember.....