My Dear Students

I thought I am a passionate teacher. I can make my students understand the importance of the subject and teach them the basic concepts for their standards. So I started my career in a private school. I loved teaching and the excitement that my children showed to know more in my class.

Some Children even asked me questions that forced me to break the standard fixed by the system for these children. So I had to Go Beyond The Standard Fixed. I am still a passionate teacher.

And the day came where my kids were tested (Examination). I was excited to correct their papers and know the result. MY RESULT. The result of teaching. All these years I got the result for learning which was quite decent all the time. But this is different, I am going to get the result for teaching. I corrected all the papers and found few got the maximum mark and some were average and a hand full of students failed. I didn't know how to take this failure.

I am a teacher and these children who failed to need me! (I kept motivating myself) I must help them to improve their marks! The school management has their way to identify the slow learners and somehow make them stay for an extra hour of coaching ie; 5.30 to 6.30 pm. I wanted to make use of this time to make them learn. I re-teach ( By Limiting the Standard) and test them again. Some pass and some fail !!

Most of the time the children who fail don't attend coaching classes. The management asks us to make sure that somehow these children attend the coaching classes. So I started chasing these students after the school dispersal and forced them to stay for coaching.

Exams after exams came as the number of teaching days was reduced it was replaced by Examinations. And now we talk only about passing, scoring marks and get centum(The portions were completed). Those children (about 5 to 6 children) continuously failed. I FAILED. Again and Again and Again

I decided to talk to them and get to know what their intentions were. Two of them said they don't want to study at all, they come here to be with their friends. And one was sure, that he would get a good job because his father is wealthy. And two others were friends of those children.

These children don't care about rules and regulations of the school, they walk into the school and class anytime and do any mischievous things, get caught by the principal and proudly narrate the story to their friends. They know they will not be expelled. And the worst part is, such children get admitted here though strong recommendations or with warning by the management to behave well in the next year.

I must make these children pass, otherwise I will be called an unworthy teacher by my heads and by my colleagues who are good at training and producing cent percent results for the school.

A teacher in me is failing, losing hopes, and passion is replaced with pressure

I am pressurized ..I am depressed... and so sometimes I've lost my temper in the class. That's just not me! which again makes me depressed.

I always tell myself and my students that I can make those children pass and score good marks who voluntarily come to study. I knew they will volunteer only when they want to. That is at the end of the academic year.

At the end of the academic year, all those boys volunteered for extra classes. They know when to start learning! They know teachers will help them anyway!

And the final exams are over and here we sit for the board exam results to appear. Fully tensed! And I see

ALL PASSED

I once came across a Verse "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." And it's so true.

Why take pressure all throughout the year? Shh.. You have to! otherwise, you will be called an "irresponsible teacher".

I learnt and I am continuing for the next academic year.

The Most Suppressed Pain of a Teacher.