Letting It Go

We all have hidden shadows that we don’t shed light on. It is in that moment, when we accidently bring it out in the open, in the light a little bit, that we truly realize we all have a dark force inside us. This epiphany hit her like a tide hitting a shore. All the anger built up inside her was gone in an instant. She struggled to cope with this realization and the truth about the world she lived in. All the “Don’t go out alone at night” or “No one will help you, you need to find your own place” started coming back to her slowly. All those times her family, her teachers at school, her friends had warned her were like a slap to the face now. All those magical beliefs about the life she thought she would create began to shatter and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t keep the pieces from falling apart. She felt this negative surge of energy pass through her, making her shudder. She was hurt and felt betrayed by the one person she thought she could always trust. The one person she truly loved. But she didn’t cry. She felt the pain but without the tears, if that made sense. It was as if she was holding on to the pain and even though she tried, she couldn’t let it go.

The knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. The policeman taking her statement had kindly suggested doing so in the privacy of her home. Before he could say a word, she began.

“We were having dinner at home. He had brought Chinese takeout while coming back from office. He freshened up while I set the food. The doorbell rang and it was his friend. I knew him so I let him in. My Hus-“she paused and drew in a sharp breath before continuing “ex-husband came out and asked me to cooperate with them both tonight. I refused after my sheer confusion and disbelief. That is when he hit me and they both proceeded to have their turn with...” she couldn’t complete her statement but the officer understood. After hours of practicing her statement in front of the mirror, she just couldn’t get through it.

 

That evening she stepped out of the house for the first time since it happened a while ago. She walked till the park where she could see the sunset. A group of children were playing nearby. People were out with their dogs strolling around. Maybe it was the beautiful orange and red pinkish rays of the sunset, or the sound of children laughing, maybe it was the cool touch of the winds on her skin or the quiet, peaceful atmosphere even with all the noise that set everything into place. Whatever the reason, her epiphany hit her again. She closed her eyes for a moment and that is when she truly understood.

We all have hidden shadows that we don’t shed light on. But we all don't let it win. We battle it out between the two forces so that the good side wins. In that moment his monstrosity didn’t shake her beliefs. It did quite the opposite as she came out a stronger person than before.

As she opened her eyes, a tear escaped her left eye and she finally let it go.