I’ll Never Leave You

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold. I was traveling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. The wedding was going to be a reunion of our batch mates. But what I didn’t know was that the reunion would become much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter. I was almost sure it was her. Same height! Same long hairs! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60 odd seconds later when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue.

A sudden flash of memoir encircled me with beautiful delineation of college days. I remembered the very first day at college when I heard her euphonious voice,

‘That’s not working, you can work on mine, and I am almost done.’

God! It was love at first sound. My heart almost missed a beat hearing it. The dark eerie of the computer lab turned into a musical concert hall. She left the place, giving an endearing smile, leaving me dumb stuck to say even ‘THANKS’.

‘Oh Hi! So good to see you Raghav, How have you been? It's a long time...’

Came an embracing voice, as Meera turned around and found her best buddy and beloved right in front of her at the airport. She was a bubbly, chirping, cheerful girl full of life but quite emotional. I gave a scruple hug and asked Meera about her wellbeing and her life since we left college or precisely each other. What a pleasant surprise it was when we boarded the same flight to Bengaluru to attend our classmate Saurav’s wedding. Even though the ocean of emotions was churning my heart out for I had so much to ask her, but some obscure notion was abstaining me. Certainly, it was not a good note on which Meera broke off. Talking to her was rather a pragmatic one with palpitations in my heart, sitting so close to my love, yet so far.

Flight landed on time and we were straight to the ceremonial hall where ‘Sangeet’ was about to start. It was in the same hotel where Saurav has arranged for our stay. I got a warm welcome from my friend and his family and was directed to my room to freshen up, but suddenly I realized Meera could not be seen. ‘Maybe she had left for her respective room’, I thought.

“Panghat pe aake saiyaan, marode baiyaan....’ As soon as this song started, a loud YO!! Could be heard and a gang of beautifully dressed up girls compassed the stage. But my eyes got arrested by the stunning sight of Meera, in a gorgeous pink salwar kameez adorning with silver bangles and moccasin, complimenting her to every bit. It was the same song on which we performed during our annual college fest and bagged first price. How lovely that evening was when for the first time I felt that sensational touch of her, as she hugged me after our win, a thought provoked and I sank into my memories. It was quite late to proceed towards her hostel when the college fest got over, so she agreed to come to my place. Draped in a turquoise satin saree, inadvertently intensifying my attraction, she sat on a couch just waiting for the night to get over. I offered her some water and sat opposite on a mattress, after which she was just beside me making me feel indistinguishable. How I simply adored that act of hers and moreover sitting so close, she drove me crazy. It was a sudden rush of adrenaline as I caught hold of her hand into mine, proposing her for marriage.

‘Hey Raghav, why don’t u join them too on stage for it was your favorite song then’,

Remarked Chetan who was a very good friend of mine in college. I came back to my conscious but my sight could not find Meera there. Everyone was chatting about their life since the last day of college. Watching me inattentive, they left me aloof with my thoughts and being too tired with the journey and then the party, I went straight to my room to have a good night sleep.

Next morning started with Saurav’s wedding ceremonies, traditional in style yet so opulent. Meera was standing next to her gang of girls, keenly watching the couple and the rituals. And as soon as she saw me gazing on her, the unfulfilled promises about our dream marriage, made her poignant eyes bowed down with delinquency and she left the place instantly. I wished to stop her but my self-pride and earlier events thwarted me, ‘for she broke up with me, not I’, exclaimed my inner self.

‘I am so sorry Raghav, I don’t want to hold you back and take this relation any further. Just move on in your life and focus on your career, this love business will not work between us anymore.’ Those were the last devastating lines from Meera that I can ever forget in my life. Moving to my room after a while from a memory like a sieve, I shed my tears in heartburning grief all over again.

It was time to say good bye to each other so we all gathered at a common hall and again wished the newly wedded couple a very happy married life ahead. Before proceeding I was still rambling to find Meera,

‘Was she still at her room or she had already left, once again leaving me uninformed? I know she hardly cares...’

I murmured in an uncalled agony. But this time something was different as if Meera was going away from me forever. I swayed here and there for her single glimpse but again she was nowhere seen.

Gathering the valour, keeping aside the worldly opinion I asked one of her friend Nisha about her whereabouts.

‘Where is Meera, has she left for her place?’

I could hardly encounter, as to what I have catechized that even the clock had stopped for a moment and everyone just giving me an icy stare. Nisha’s eyes were shedding tears and having a wretched look for me. Saurav as an instanter hugged me with sad vehemence. Now this time, it was going on top of my head to engulf all this without reasons. He was holding me tightly and said,

‘I know what you are going through Raghav, but as I told you earlier too, Meera has left us for heavenly adobe a month back ‘.

“Did I hear it correctly“; I screamed within myself and found the ground slipping away beneath my feet. Then who was she in front of me, for the last two days.

‘Raghav! Raghav! Are you all alright? It’s really heart-rending but we can hardly do anything against God’s wish. Meera was having a malignant tumor and she succumbed to her illness. She wanted you to move ahead in your life and not get stuck up with her pain, it was this reason that she went away from you,’ Nisha said in a low tone to console him.

But do these words actually matter when the love of my life, my Meera is in front of me, grinning like a Cheshire cat and this time with an assurance of a forever bond? I didn’t exert my energy anymore to convince these guys over Meera’s existence and so I decided to move away giving a nod to their convictions.

As I boarded the taxi, the shattered hearts of my best pals could be seen as disconsolate and crestfallen. Saurav tried to refrain my movement, but I caught hold of my Meera’s hand and walked away. She was so close to me in my arms, her sparkling eyes were full of love, a bit hesitant due to my cuddles, still having a feeling of warmth and essence.

A message from Saurav popped up on my cellphone and penetrated deep into my fantasy,

‘Raghav, please come back, I know you are living with a delusion of being with Meera. She is no more....Help yourself dear and come back for god sake.’

I switched off that perturbing instrument and turned back to my love, my life, my Meera just to say,

“I’ll never leave you”.