Gone
Gone
Well, it happened. He sat down on his knees and asked her out. I was breaking and crying from inside. Every tear and every fear threatened to come out as I saw him acting all crazy and twisted while he gave his hand. He had a smile anyone would kill to have their guy smile like that. He asked her if she could go with her and she gave him her hand, and you know what the best part was that he held it like he was never letting it go.
He held like he was going to own it for the rest of his life. He held it like he was holding a prize. A prize, so priceless. He held it like he was holding his life. And when she said a yes he put his fist in the air and he looked as if he had just won the best thing on the goddamn planet. And the way he looked at her it hurt me. The way he looked at her. I felt my heart stop. Any girl would trade her life for that look. I knew I wasn’t ever going to be her.
Couldn’t I just be that girl? I don’t even know why I try? I don’t even know why I care how I look every time I know we would cross paths. I don’t know why it hurts when he looks at her or talks to her. I felt myself breaking hard from inside. I felt sadness building up in my already broken heart and challenging to come out in forms of tears and anger. I wanted to scream and shout and yell. I wanted to hit him and punch him in his gorgeous face and tell him I love you more than the world could combined love you. I love you more than she would in her life. I could love you as much as you love her.
Just. Please just give me a chance. I would never hurt you like you hurt yourself every time you look at her smile with another man. This is a fucked-up love triangle and I am the only one who is being hurt. He walked past me like he didn’t even know I exist. He walked past me to go to her. He broke my heart to fix her already fixed one. He broke me to build her up. Well, guess what. When he sat down and asked her to be his and when she said a yes I sat on the other side of the room invisible to the rest of the world… smiling and hooting and crying and breaking, all at the same time.