Forever...

Ananya stood in the corner of the room, trying hard to disappear in the background. It was the freshers party for the first-year students of MBA, organized by their senior batch. As an ice-breaker, they were all handed chits with random words, and they had to go seek the person who had a chit with a matching word. For example: Toothbrush and Toothpaste.

She stared at the chit in her hand, with the word “GIRL” written on it. “Oh God... what a boring game”.

Her parents, both research scholars, had had a love marriage. She was their only daughter and they doted on her. She had always been the quintessential introvert, right from her childhood. Intelligent and witty, yet painfully shy and quiet. It didn’t help that she was very plain looking, a fact that she was somehow always aware of. She would often joke to her mom- “Maa, I wish I had inherited your looks, instead of Dad’s” and her mom would lovingly tell her that she did look good, which Anu knew, was a lie coated lovingly with motherly affection. The mirror never lied. Whenever she saw the mirror, she saw a dusky, short, plump, bespectacled girl staring back at her. Not that it bothered her, as she always focussed on academic excellence, but yet, sometimes she still yearned to look beautiful like many girls around her. It always took her a long time to open up and bond with someone. Yet, when she made friends, it was always for a lifetime.

Disinterested, as she looked across the room, she saw him for the first time. Leaning against a wall, looking equally bored. She couldn’t gaze away. Tall and strikingly handsome, with sharp features, and intelligent eyes, he had a distant look in his eyes, chewing gum. He turned suddenly and their eyes met for a moment. She hurriedly looked away, realizing she had been staring for some time.

She turned her gaze back to the centre of the room, where people were chattering away excitedly, trying to find matching chits and partners.

“Looks like I am not the only one suffering here”. The deep voice startled her and she gulped. He was the same guy whom she was looking at a few moments away. She laughed nervously.

He held out his hand warmly “I am Aditya Grewal, you can call me Adi”. It took her a minute to process what he was saying. She then smiled and shook his hand “I am Ananya Shekar, you can call me Anu”.

He grinned “I thought I was the only one who found this game boring. Thankfully, I have company”.

She blinked “But why would you find it boring”. For someone so good looking and effortlessly charming, she felt it should be easy for him to be around people.

He ran his fingers through his hair and replied “Umm, I don’t know. I believe that making friends is a very organic process. We bond with people, when our heart wants to, and not because we have to.”

It was a lovely and genuine statement and Anu liked him immediately.

He smiled “Wanna sneak out for a cup of coffee? “ . “Absolutely” she said and they walked out of the room.

“By the way, my chit reads ‘BOY’ . What’s in yours” he asked her casually. She took out the crumpled chit from her bag and read out 'GIRL’. They took a long look at each other, burst into laughter and walked out together.

This was just a beginning of their beautiful relationship. They soon turned into thick friends. They shared a lot of common interests, and enjoyed each other’s company. She knew many girls vied for his attention, but somehow, he loved hanging around with her, a fact she found hard to digest. He was warm, affectionate and genuinely loved her company. She found in him, an intelligent and practical friend to be with, someone who didn’t seem to be bothered at all by her looks.

One day after college, as they were walking back to the parking lot, it started raining heavily. They stood under a tree, till the rain subsided. He gave her his jacket and stood before her, so that his tall frame shielded her from the rain. “Wear it chashmish. I don’t want my bestie falling ill and going around sneezing achee achee around me” he teased and laughed. As he stood towering protectively above her, that minute, Anu realized she was in love with him. She had always known that she was attracted to him, a fact that she locked up carefully in her heart, but now she realized helplessly that she had fallen in love. For the first time in her life, she had loved someone. She knew his affection was completely platonic, but her heart refused to listen.

They branched into different specializations. He took up Production and Operations Management as he had to manage his family business going forward, and she took up Finance. She was intending to follow it up with a Phd , following her parents’ footprints.

They hung around at each other’s place. His parents were warm and sweet to be with. He also bonded very well with her parents. On the first day he came home, after he left, her mother teased her “Well, well, my lil cherub has brought a guy home for the first time”. “Maa, stop calling me like that” she said embarrassed. Her mother sat with her lovingly. “Anu, I have also been in love. I can realize that you like him. It is evident in your eyes and adulation for him. But what I want to know is have you expressed your feelings for him? Because somehow, I get a feeling that he looks at you as a dear friend, and nothing more”. Anu swallowed and blinked at her mother. She could never hide anything from her dear mother. “No maa, I have not told him anything” she said in a low voice. Her mother kissed her forehead “Anu, I don’t want you to get hurt sweety. Please take care”. 

Muddled, Anu confided her feelings to Seema, another common friend. Seema also suggested that she should express her feelings to him sometime, as they were in the last year of college and soon would reach the end of their academic stint together.

Their exams were over, and it was graduation party. Relieved, their entire batch was partying hard and dancing away that night. Anu decided to tell him after the party, but before she could say something, Adi excitedly came to her and took her hand “Hey, come out for a minute, I want you to meet someone”

Confused, Anu stepped out with him and he took her outside. There was a stunning woman waiting near his car. She was tall, statuesque and very beautiful to look at. Adi introduced her to Anu. “Anu, meet Naina. We are going to get hitched in a few months. She has her own boutique here in Mumbai. She is my cousin’s friend, and my lover- after a lotttt of effort from my side, in trying to impress her” Naina laughed and playfully jabbed him. 

“And, this is Anu , my dearest chashmish and best friend from college. I wanted her to be the first person to meet you, from my batch” he said.

Naina smiled warmly and held out her hand. Anu shook it in a daze. Her world had just crumbled down. As she watched both of them talk and laugh, she realized what heartbreak was all about. It was probably the worst pain that she had ever felt. He had just lovingly friend zoned her without even realizing it. She bravely kept a straight face, fighting back her tears, that threatened to crash down her cheeks any minute. She excused herself, saying that she had to go home for some urgent work. Confused, he offered to drop her, but she refused politely and fled from there.

At home, Anu was inconsolable. She cried her heart out. She had always known that she was headed for a heartbreak, but her heart had weakly hoped that by some magic, he too would fall in love with her and reciprocate her feelings. “Ugly ducklings don’t get their prince charming” she bitterly thought. She wished she had listened to her rational mind. After all, many of our problems in life is because of the disconnect between the heart and the brain.

Adi tried to call her many times and finally she decided to meet him once, wanting to restore normalcy for herself.

When she met him, the look in his eyes told her that something was not okay. “Anu, I am sorry, I didn’t know.” he started saying and she realized, to her horror, that he had been told about her feelings. Seema, in a bid to help her, had confided to him, about her feelings for him. For the first time, she saw sympathy in his eyes and it killed her emotionally. It was bad enough that she had fallen in a one-sided love and to make it worse, now he knew and he was feeling bad for her. 

“I didn’t know, I never meant to lead you on, I always considered you as my best friend. Please forgive me.” Normally eloquent, today he struggled to find the right words, as he didn’t want to hurt her anymore. “It is okay Adi…actually I am sorry….I….I should not have….please go away…let us not meet again…I .. I want to be alone” she babbled like a wreck and ran away from there, even as he tried to call her and stop her.

Time passed and she healed slowly, lovingly supported by her parents. She focussed on her research studies and broke up all ties with him, though he tried to call her many times. She heard from her friends that he had married Naina. She never contacted him thereafter.

After a few years, one day Anu accompanied her cousin to SKB Super Speciality Hospital, when she was down with flu. As she passed by the wards, she suddenly halted. A familiar face was seen near the Billing section. It was Adi’s mother. She suddenly seemed to look more aged and frailer than before. Anu debated whether or not, she should approach her. Then, she slowly walked up to his mother. “Aunty…” she called out. His mother turned and looked at her. A little confused, she said “Sorry, beta ..you look familiar…but I am unable to recollect. Have we met before?”

Anu politely introduced herself. Adi’s mother was overjoyed. “Oh Anu, it is you .. I am so sorry… I was unable to recollect... It is so nice to see you.. How are you doing beta ?”

“I am fine Aunty” she replied and with a momentary hesitation, she slowly asked “How is Adi ?”

His mother’s face clouded with sorrow suddenly. “Oh, I guess you don’t know. Adi is hospitalized here. He is here from quite sometime. He…he…met with an accident and …” she burst into tears.

Anu was stunned. She quietly comforted his mother and they sat down to talk. She learnt that Adi and Naina had met with a gruesome car accident a month back. Naina was pregnant at that time. While Naina died in that accident, Adi survived, but in a very critical condition.

Not only did he have severe physical injuries, he also had traumatic brain injury which had affected his physical and cognitive functions. His memory was failing along with his overall health.

Anu was shocked. She wanted to see him immediately. She walked with his mother to the room. Her heartbeat increased as they neared the room. When she entered, she just froze.

On the bed lay a frail man, a far cry from the memory of her dear Adi. Tubes seemed to have taken over his body. Those sparkling black eyes now had a dull and listless look in them. He was staring vacantly at the ceiling. He was a shadow of his former self.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at the only man she had ever loved, who in turn had lost the only woman he had ever loved, along with his unborn child.

His mother tenderly called out to him, “Adi, look who is here… your best friend Anu”. He feebly turned towards her, unable to recognize her. Anu wiped her tears and sat beside him “Hey Adi, I am your chashmish, remember, we studied together at JIMS”. A flicker of recognition came in his eyes “Anu…” he weakly called her name.

She sat by his side the whole day, speaking to him, helping him eat and being there for him. She started spending time with him everyday thereafter. Every day, she had to help him remember her all over again, owing to his progressive memory problem. She understood from his condition and from the doctors that he was fighting a losing battle. Her mother was a little worried. “Anu, you are again heading towards a heartbreak. You know he does not have much time left. Why are you doing this to yourself?”. Anu calmly and bravely comforted her mother, that she wanted to be with him more than anything else and make him feel better, even if he didn’t have much time left.

A few weeks thereafter, Adi breathed his last, owing to an organ failure issue. She was with him till the end. She helped his parents slowly heal thereafter through the difficult period. Tears did flow whenever she thought about him, but she always recollected the fond memories of the moments, they had shared in the past and healed herself. She knew she could never possibly fall in love again, but the thought, that he was there somewhere in the other world, looking at her, made her braver and stronger. Death could not separate him from her- her dearest Adi, her only loved and treasured memory…. always and forever.