Doctor I Have A Problem - 1

“YEAH COME IN,” THE DOCTOR SAID. It was a big hospital, and they call it multi-specialty hospital. More number of people waited outside the doctor’s room. They had various reasons to meet this doctor who wore thick round spectacles, long white coat and gold wrist watch.

A corporate employee aged about thirty years had entered inside, and he didn’t even smile at the doctor because he was suffering from illness. He wanted to get treated badly. He sat on the red plastic chair in front of the doctor, who curiously looking at him now.

“Hi doctor,” he said in a low voice as if he had lost all the interest in the world. His name was Sunil Gupta. His friends call him Sunny. He looked tall and had amiable black eyes, his hair was bushy like sanyasis who lives in Kasi, his cheeks were withered like a dry leaf, he was merely living like a fish in the dried brook, and he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy at all. God knew what had happened to him.

“What’s your problem?” the doctor asked. He pushed in his thick goggles, to get a clear picture of him. It was like he was analysing the DNA structure through the microscope. His eyes were sharp even in this greyed age. He was fully agile. As a doctor he knew what is good for his health, isn’t?

“Sir, I couldn’t swallow food, I feel like something stuck in my throat,” Sunil said.

The doctor gently shook his head, he knew what was the problem was, but he had to probe him further, “For how long?” he asked sternly.

Sunil was thinking now, or probably living the hell of memories once again. He didn’t want to probe his past life, but the doctor seems didn’t give him medication until he knew all the past history of him.

“For about two weeks.”

“I see,” there was a slow shaking of head from the doctor now. “Are you sleeping well these days?”

Sunil had expected this question would come from him. He was prepared to answer this, but with his heavy heart. Yes, he couldn’t sleep for the past one week when he was assigned a new software project. The work pressure was eating him alive when he was in his office. He started hating the life. He found this life meaningless and he had lost the colours of it, he could only see black and white in front of his eyes, everywhere. Nothing induced a curiosity in him. Even the sight of beautiful girls didn’t give a spark to him. He wasn’t a love failure case, but he had seen the bitterest part of life. Now he was suffering immensely.

“No doctor. I have hardly slept an hour in the whole week. I am afraid…..I am afraid,” he almost shouted now.

The doctor sensed what was going in his mind, “I can understand. But calm down. Everything will be all right,” he assured him as looked into his eyes, “Now tell me if something had happened in your life which frightened you. I mean the level of suffering. I wanted to know if you have experienced sudden girlfriend loss or her separation or her betrayal. Or you have lost your parents or something like that.”

Sunil’s lips curled, “I am damn software engineer. That’s the reason enough for my worry,” he said, sighing heavily.

“You didn’t have any girlfriend?” the doctor quizzed, he was quite surprised. Because many of the patients who come to see him would tell him more sensitive issues about their girlfriends. But here a young lad wasn’t talking about it. He was piqued. Though he knew the work pressures can cause problems, he hadn’t seen a single person who would become malignantly affected by its impact. He was witnessing a wizard now.

“I had bad experiences with the girls earlier in my life. So I don’t dare to date any girl at all. All I wanted now is peace. I don’t know from where to get it. I am finally here at your feet,” Sunil said ascetically. There wasn’t a glimpse of happiness rooted in his soul when he said this. Yes, when he was a small boy about eight years, he had liked his classmate Shruti, who wore light blue frock and white ribbons attached to her pony tails. It was his infatuation but he was terribly affected by the grip of her girly force. He didn’t want to lose her. But when he had gone and said to her ‘I love you’, she had gone straight to the principle and told about him. The next day he was given TC and was shifted to Gurukulam instead. But the vivid memory of Shruti was still biting his heart until now.

“Oh………you look sad. You should add colours in your life,” the doctor said.

“I could only see black and white,” the response came immediately from Sunil.

The doctor coughed as took the blue water bottle from his desk and sipped twice, he didn’t ask any excuse. His adam apple raised up and down in his thick throat. Sunil had seen it moving.

“My boy, the tone of your voice is suggesting me that you are very disappointed,” the doctor concluded, as kept the bottle again on the desk.

Sunil didn’t like the answer, “That’s what I am telling you from the beginning,” he clenched his teeth. He was losing his patience now. As a patient he should have patience but he didn’t, the doctor thought.

“Okay,” the doctor said and ran his finger over the bridge of his long nose. “How do you feel when you fall on the bed?”

A ray of hope sparkled in Sunil’s eyes. He thought the doctor was coming close to dissect his illness, “I feel like not sleeping at all.”

The doctor slightly exasperated now. But he was still there.

“I think your mind is messed up. You should take rest. Get a week off from your office,” the doctor said.

“No, my manager would back fire me if I did this. You just give me a piece of medicine which would cure my illness,” Sunil said.

The doctor looked at him for a few seconds, there was a brief pause, Sunil thought he had forgotten about the medicine names to prescribe for him.

“You have to undergo endoscopy,” the doctor said, he hadn’t written anything on the small prescription pad which was lying close to the stethoscope on the desk.

“What?” Sunil almost poked his head at the doctor’s nose.

“I said its endoscopy.”

“I don’t understand,” Sunil said clearly.

The doctor’s heart throbbed faster than the Olympic swimmer now, “Endoscopy is to understand the functioning of your throat, it will find out any abnormal condition of oesophagus and it will assist us to get the root of the problem, you got it?”

“But………….” Sunil said and forgot what should ask now. He was worried about the new medical term. He didn’t like to undergo such diagnostic tests. He was afraid and he felt pathetic as if he had got an incurable disease. His veins bulged underneath his eyes as he looked at the doctor with his weak face.

“My boy, it’s just a small test. You should undergo this,” the doctor asserted once again.

“Where should I go?”

“You can do this here in the next building. Just a few hundred meters away from here,” the doctor said.

“You think I will be all right,” Sunil said. His mind was blanketed and dark now. It was like thunderstorm had wreaked his brain. He had never gone to the big hospital like this before, even when he had got a dengue fever while studying ninth standard, he got a treatment from the doctor who stayed a couple of streets back to his house, it was a small hospital and hardly two rooms would be there. He knew he had treated him well. But now he had grown up and didn’t want to go there anymore. He thought big hospitals can cure about anything. Somehow he felt his illness was intense. He had never got a trouble to eat earlier, but for the first time he was facing such strange illness and finding it difficult even to swallow a morsel of food.

“I don’t know, I have to see the reports first, but trust me,” the doctor said.

A tulip of water crawled from his right eye. It had almost burned his cheek, but Sunil didn’t feel like wiping it.

He stood up and said to the doctor, “I will leave now.”

“But you have to come back. I mean with reports,” the doctor said. A small smile peeped out of his dry lips.

Sunil pressed his lips and didn’t utter a word and left the place. The doctor rang a bell to invite one more patient to consult him.

His only relaxation was that there were more people sitting outside and digging into their mobile phones as they waited for the call from the doctor. It was like they had come to attend an interview. They looked anxious as if the interviewer would bewilder them with tough questions.

Sunil wanted to go home. He didn’t like the smell of medicine at all. The long corridor he walked down had given him nausea feeling. It only frightened him that he was a terrible patient. He actually thought the doctor may write down few tablets and ask him go home and take rest. But it wasn’t happening here. He was worried. He had no idea why he was here and why should undergo the labyrinth of medical tests. He felt like trapped in a cage.

He came to the next building, where various medical tests would be done. More patients were waiting here too, with grim faces, twisting their backs as they leaned on their metal chairs. They had files on their laps, just like in the size of medical books. As if they had come here to attend the medical class. Guess what they carried? It was their past medical history. It had consisted of several illnesses like when they had finally coughed, puked, smoked. Do you think the person who had such files in stock would be sleeping happy? No, it was difficult. In fact, it’s like the person is trying to sleep while the records of their past history of treatments over weighed on his or her eyes.

“Hello sir, how can I help you?” a lady asked him, when Sunil tried to sneak into the diagnostic room.

“I……” Sunil said and took a deep breath. He didn’t say anything but threw a small paper onto her face.

She read it casually and said, “You have to wait there along with other patients. All are waiting for the same test.”

There were about ten patients. He knew it would take at least two hours. He actually took one hour permission from his manager, but it looked like he needs a whole day to get out of this gloomy place. He had so many tasks to do, the software bugs, debugging and its release were still running on his mind. Though he had become patient here only because of the torturous work in office, he had to continue doing the same work again from tomorrow. He simply can’t escape from his wrenching office. He fumed as thought about it. He can’t sit down politely in his seat, he felt like going back to home. He can surf at least a few news channels instead of staying here and see the other grumpy patients.

He didn’t know how to run the time faster now, and he wished he should have had the time machine to control his past, present and future. Nobody seems to be interested in talking with others. Even the young girl about twenty years old was staring at the ceiling with her blank eyes as if she was dead. There was not an ounce of energy stirring inside her body. He felt she was a robot or something. She was sitting one seat away from him, an old man was sitting in between him and her, he was muttering and groaning as clutched his wrinkled throat. His shabby head was bobbing left and right as he kept staring at the door to be opened. Sunil knew he was cussing at the doctor for taking so long time for each person to do the medical test.

Finally a lady appeared and called the old man’s name Mr. Padmanaban. He hurried inside slowly as clutched the past medical history file in his right hand like a school boy was going to meet the miss to show his homework.

Now, Sunil had seen an opportunity to talk with that sombre girl, who was still staring at the ceiling with unclosed eyes. She wasn’t crying though.

“Hello?” he said, he had shuffled his seat next to her.

She didn’t stir.

He swallowed a lump down his throat. He was careful that she won’t slap him for disturbing her. She is looking beautiful? What problem she probably has in her life? He thought. He probed his mind before he fought hard himself whether to touch her shoulder to bring back her from day dreaming (maybe something terrible?). She wore a light yellowish pink blazer (a white top inside) and long blue skirt. Her healthy white arms were glittering and her face was both exciting and stimulating to take a look. Sunil had never seen such a beautiful face before, but for the first time. Even Shruti to whom he had proposed at his very young age wasn’t great compare to this girl, though it had ended in heartbreak. He couldn’t control his brain from talking with her. In fact, his brain was hot like it was kept in oven.

This time he had slightly prodded his hand over her shoulder, she was stirred very slowly like a lily would blossom tardily in the night. She looked at his face.

“Hi, my name is Sunil,” he said.

She wasn’t angry or happy. She just didn’t feel like respond him. But she said, “Okay,” in a thin voice and nothing more.

Sunil was slightly pissed off, but he wasn’t going to give up probing her more, “Your good name?” he asked, there was a glow of smile in his eyes. Maybe he thought he had got a companion to share some of his misfortunes with her. He was glad to meet this girl.

“I don’t think it is necessary for you,” she said slowly but in a firm tone.

“I am sorry to interrupt you,” Sunil said. He didn’t want to talk to her further, because he knew she might scream if he dared to ask her something again. He shut off his mouth and eyes as he sat upright on his chair again, looking at the door for the old man to come out. Time wasn’t running at all from his perception. The small hand of the wall clock was crawling over eleven. Still he had to go a long way.

After a few minutes, like a miracle, the gentle whisper of her voice came to him.

“My name is Pragya,” she said. She wasn’t smiling, but said in a tight voice. She didn’t want to insult a fellow who had interested to know her name. In her life, she had never hurt even an animal. She wasn’t going to lose that attitude because she got some disease. She wanted to keep this good trait of hers until she was dead.

“You spoke to me?” Sunil said cheerfully, his eyes were shaking. His index finger was poking at his chest.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Sweet name,” he said with jolly heart.

Now, there was small smile on her lips. But it was a forced one. Her eyes were still gloomy.

“Thank you.”

“May I know why you came here?” he asked. He couldn’t believe she had got some illness in her lavishing body. Even if she told him she got a cold he wasn’t going to believe that. The other patients were dwelling in their own gloomy world and they hadn’t slightly interested in what these two were talking.

“I came here for the same reason why you came here. I mean I have got illness too,” she said, there was some energy in her now. Her typical jeering voice was coming out.

“For endoscopy?” he asked, his eyebrows touching the brim of his hairline.

There was hardly a shake from her head.

“What happened?” he had to ask this question, otherwise he wouldn’t sleep for three weeks continuously.

The old man came out of the diagnostic room, slowly walking down as closed the door. The file was little bulged now as the recent report was added into it. He couldn’t breathe freely, as if his nostrils were obstructed by small stones. He coughed twice as exited this building to consult with the doctor again.

“My boyfriend was dead two weeks before,” she said, not looking into his eyes. “I was totally depressed. I don’t even know why I exist in the world. I refused taking food and I have never slept from the day he had left me lurched alone.” A tear nudged past her left eye imperceptibly. She didn’t even know that she shed tear now.

Sunil didn’t know how to react to this situation. He was really grieving for her sake. But he couldn’t believe she had loved someone so deeply. He thought her boyfriend was lucky for getting a chance to court her. What happened to him suddenly? Did he commit suicide because her parents didn’t like him? Was he drunk poison because there was a fight in between she and him? He thought. No, he didn’t want to guess randomly. He wanted to know the truth right now.

“How he was dead?” Sunil asked hesitatingly. He knew he was kindling the fire in her heart again.

There was a chuckle from her. Her tender bosom was slightly raised up and down.

“He wasn’t dead. He had left me, because he didn’t see I am beautiful anymore. He has found something better than me and he left me. Yeah, he is dating another girl. He didn’t even tell me this. He is such a busy boy, you know,” she said as tears gushed forth from her eyes. It was burning like what his boyfriend had done to her. She was trying to smile too, but it was impossible as her nerves were exploding.

“I am sorry,” Sunil said.

She wiped her tears with her rosy fingers as pressed her lips and she was consoling herself now.

“I think I had hurt you with my pitiful story. Please don’t mistake me,” she said. She took a deep breath, “I don’t know why I am telling all this to you. I think I am becoming crazy. I have lost my sanity.”

“Please don’t say it again,” Sunil rushed to shut off her mouth. “I am glad to meet such a beautiful girl and share her personal life with me. It really feels good.”

“You are not joking by calling me a beautiful girl, right?” she said. “see I am left out by somebody who did find nothing interested in me.” Her smile was perfect like a small born baby. Definitely this girl must have had the blessings of God. Sunil was so happy at least he found a girl to chat with him, so he can forget his agonies temporarily.

A lady came and called her name.

“Oh, my name has come finally. Excuse me, I must stop talking to you now,” Pragya said as stood up from her seat.

A heartbeat skipped in his chest as she said this. He didn’t want to miss her abruptly. But he can’t do anything about it. He threw a face and smiled haggardly.

“That’s all right,” he said.

......To Be Continued