Death By Chocolate

May 2020

He was running for the past 4 hours or so. He was dizzy with pain and breathlessness. His eyes got covered with sweat, and the salinity was burning his eyes. As he turned into the main road, he heard a cheer “come on uncle/sir only a few kilometers more.” He willed himself to complete the marathon, his first, on his 60th birthday. He was drooling thinking about the Corner House “Death by Chocolate” he promised himself after his run.

Sometime in February, 2020

Finally, he decided to run his first marathon, in-spite of objections from his right knee on a day to day basis on his daily run. He had couple of months to prepare himself. Last year he managed to do half marathon distance three times. It was not that strenuous, and he could maintain his daily activity after some rest. He planned to do a 30 km distance once or twice and then move up to 40 km. He didn’t rely on formal coaching but relied on his body’s signals.

 May, 2020

The first hour of his run was a breeze. He was in a zone, breathing and legs were well coordinated. As he felt the cool breeze and the verdant landscape go by, he felt good about Bangalore momentarily, though. In the last two decade, he has seen the garden city destroy itself. The city had all the typical ailments of a bludgeoning metropolitan. The pollution, the traffic, jams any time of the day, anywhere, non-existent footpaths, if existed, bike riders and pedestrians would compete, waste management was an ever-increasing issue coupled with groundwater pollution. By another decade it would become the second city in the world after Cape town to face “Day Zero” indicator of acute water shortage. Except for his morning run and a must-do shopping for vegetables or milk each day, his life got confined to his apartment. His daily life was “kindled” by the books he kept as a company.

Considered to be the Silicon Valley of India, he reflected, Bangalore had become a decayed city, a “geek” tragedy. He strongly felt that the city had lost its humanity if pedestrians did not feel safe anymore. The city had tall glass buildings; gated communities; gas guzzling SUVs had become signs of this urban decay; still the city draws from wide and far, as far as Jharkhand for supply of drivers, security, real estate workers; Start-Ups like fireflies burn and quickly die.

Round the bend, he heard some loud cheering from passing school girls. His thoughts drifted to his daughter UT as he fondly called her.

UT as a guru

She was in some aspects of his life was his guru. He remembered the first lesson she had taught him when she was about five or so. When he was walking with her to the dance school she asked him, “Appa, would you stop my regular school if I refuse to learn dancing? He was shocked and asked her “don’t you like dancing? Her answer was no. He walked her back home. He recalled Gibran’s writing, which said your children were not yours, to be owned. Let her take to the wings and fly.

She had introduced him to running as well, which became a passion for him. It got collectively decided that she would be better off taking some athletic coaching rather than badminton. Where UT didn’t seem to make any progress, UT had readily agreed.

The grind had started as UT had joined her 11th standard in a new school. Woke up at 5 am, packed her breakfast and lunch, then the drive to Krantiveera stadium about 13 km away, witnessing her running and work out practice, he started to run as well. A few months later, on a Saturday, the coach suggested to UT that she start her 10 km practice run. This practice would prepare to take part in the upcoming TCS event; he decided to accompany her run as a measure of precaution.

A runner was born. UT and he followed two seasoned runners who were guiding them and managed to complete their first 10 k. With a bit of rest, day was typical, the feeling of accomplishment was great. He had then decided to invest in his first pair of professional running shoes. After hopping across several branded shoe outlets he had decided on the Puma Mobium model and placed his first online order with Myntra.

UT went on to complete a good run better than him and got a Nike-T-shirt in the bargain as she was one of the first 20 runners in her category.

It was a different story that she could not continue her running beyond school while he was on his first marathon while on 60.

With the daily running his morning got set up perfectly well. The feel-good hormones cruised through his body after a good run and yoga. Aa breakfast followed by south Indian filter coffee, he felt he could accomplish anything. Day after day, nothing but a small investment in a pair of good shoes. He has run along Brahmaputra in Guwahati, on the seashore in Colombo beaches, in the tea gardens in Ooty and Munnar, Bangkok streets, on an icy chilly morning in Cologne. A chuckle escaped his lips as he remembered the confusion in the eyes of the receptionist at the hotel that morning. As he got dressed in black thermal suit and his face covered in a hood, perhaps he looked like a terrorist. When he dropped his room key on the desk, a relieved look came on to the receptionist's eyes. Overall, running kept him de-stressed and fit, and he appeared at least 5-10 years younger than his age.

Return Run

His career flashed across his mind. What has he done in his career of 30 plus years? His education till post-graduation was from premier institutions where the entry got based on competitive examination and interviews. He had chosen rural management as his career as he felt he must contribute to equitable development in his country which is predominantly agrarian. He thought of his career in cricketing terms consisting of 3 innings roughly each for a decade or so. He fondly remembered the work in a tribal block that has left a legacy of over 10,000 ha of regenerated forests. In one of the villages some youth reported that they have never seen such forests in their village neighborhood in their lifetime. His second innings got built on learnings from his first decade of work. He had set up an innovative public limited company with shares held by women gatherers of medicinal plants in the form of self-help groups. It was his long-cherished dream. But the dream became a nightmare as the challenges started consuming him of his peace of mind and serenity. His third innings got built on lessons learned from both the previous innings. It was far more leisurely, it took him across the globe, but the work was mildly relevant. Abruptly his innings got cut short, and in the fourth innings, he got hurt retired. “Also ran” sums up his career. And today, he was also running with the crowd in the completion of his first marathon. 

During his second innings, when he was undergoing a “burn out” he sought peace in spiritualism. While he was grappling in unraveling Jiddu Krishnamurthi’s complex teachings, it was Osho that provided him the key. Osho had said that awareness was like a flame that burned the thoughts, which were like snowflakes. Thoughts create their reality, and without the knowledge, the human mind got caught up in these thoughts and imagined them to be reality. With awareness, one can see “what is” as what it is. So, living in the moment was what life was all about, this attention and slipping into inattention and back into focus and so on.

Last-mile

A loud cheer brought him from his reverie. Onlookers were cheering the runners, only a few kilometres to complete the marathon. By then only feeling he felt was a pain. The last thing he remembered was stumbling into the corner ice cream parlor.

Next day the newspaper in the sidelight proclaimed “Death by Chocolate”?? for the first-time marathoner. The newspaper said as per his last wish the marathoner’s family had ordered his “Death by Chocolate. ”As he was finishing the ice cream, he had collapsed. It quoted his tearful wife stating “that was how he had willed himself to die for over a decade now.” He had always claimed that his mind could program his death and he would be the dead proof for this notion.

The doctor, after completion of his diagnosis, pronounced that the marathoner had collapsed due to mere exhaustion, and nothing was found wrong with vital organs. He will possibly do several more marathons, the doctor concluded.