Candy Floss For Failure

Sitting in Seattle in my office cabin, sudden phone call of mom disturbs me. Due to time difference mom would never call at such odd hours. Her voice was shaking and sobbing.

After a few minutes she told me that Rohan, my younger brother, whom I called Champ, has tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. He is only 19, my best buddy.

For a minute my world went upside down. I really love champ a lot. He is my partner in crime. I have shared every cherishable memory with him. Played cricket together, watched movies, cover up each other throughout. And this news was enough for me to break down.

Dad was also not around and that made mom go more week. I rushed to my office travel desk and booked the next flight to India. But it was a long journey and for hours I would be not connected to mom and champ condition.

My heart was beating fast. I rushed to my seat and the whole journey was feeling like ages.

All I was hoping was to go and hug my champ.

Why he got so broken that he took his life. Why he could not talk to us. Three days back champs JEE result was out and unfortunately he could not make it to it for the second time. Was this a big reason to take life? I and Dad both are IIT ins, could that have pressurized champ? Many questions were drooling me down to know what went wrong. Was his best friend selection weakened him further? 

But asking all this was of no use as the harm has already been done. After 23 hours journey, I reached outside ICU. Mom was sitting on a bench half-sleep. I hugged her and she broke down. After meeting doctors I found that the poison was demobilized and fluxed out his body and now 72 hrs wait to see how all organs are responding.

This topic was getting heat, as media could sense it. And already reporters were ready to cover the story. Somehow I managed to cool the situation. By saying that it was not a suicide attempt. Even police were present to torcher us with questions.

Sitting outside ICU, I was wondering if it was only Rohan's failure or our failure as a family.

As a brother, I was always there to help him solve any maths doubts, but I was never there to solve his doubts about failure. While mom was extra concerned for his health, protein content, milk etc. She ignored his mental health.

While dad always busy talking about my success stories forgot to talk about Rohans' failure stories. Despite being educated family, we committed blunder like naive. 

We always tell kids about the success stories and people, but rarely talk about failures.

That's why they are immature to handle it. Soon dad returned and we stayed praying for Champs betterment.

After 3 days he was shifted to a room. I wanted to hug him and say loud that I am sorry for being a failure as a big bro. But could not. He stayed quiet for days. But now we as a family supported him. We learned from our mistakes.

I wish I could have rewind the time and fixed things better. The doctors prescribed him dialysis as his kidneys were impacted by pills. It took 2 more years for Rohan to get back to his life.

I applied for his visa and took him with me to pursue law from a college in the US. He wanted to do Law but this we could only know after we all suffered failure. As clearing JEE was the only option for us. 

But luckily everyone supported him this time. Things are better now. Mom and dad also came out of that phase. We were almost losing champ from our lives because of our own mistakes.

So I request all to please not wait for the light strike on your near one. Just hug them for their failures too. As the road of success passes by failures only.