Blue.

Blue is my favourite color. Not that I have any particular animosity with the others. But, somehow, I like blue better.

 

It was a breezy winter morning and Ajay and Kshama were sitting together on a beach. Waiting for me, getting irritated on my habit of getting late. They had met each other on my birthday party this year and had become good friends. I had seen friendships bloom, but this one was special to me, as, they both were my best friends coming from different spheres of life altogether.

 

Ajay was a mechanical engineer and Kshama was a lit professor. She had come down from UK ten years back and I had met her in a party that was hosted by my husband’s office colleague on the eve of his promotion. We clicked the first day that we met and decided to stay in touch despite our busy schedules. Ajay, I knew him for past five years when he had first come down to my consultancy as a technical lead to help us understand the issues with the pipe fittings that my firm manufactured. Our sales had gone down then, and being the purchase head, it was my responsibility to understand the issue and resolve it to ensure that the sales figures would improve, sooner than later.

 

Ajay was 30 and Kshama 35. And there I was between them, at 33. I loved them unconditionally, like I love most people and their friendship was indeed very special to me. It was Sunday, and they both were waiting for me on the beach, spending a calm time together. We had decided to meet for brunch and then spend the rest of the day watching some movie and hanging around. All of us were excited about trying out something new that day. I wanted to have risotto, Kshama; white pasta, after much persuasion from me, and Ajay; well he wanted to take us to try out wine at a nearby bar which I was absolutely against. But he had Kshama’s poll and I decided to be the silent spectator taking sole responsibility of driving them back home in case they got too drunk.

 

As always, I was getting late for meeting them, struggling through my coursework submission, getting constant calls from them. “Chal na, jaldi aa. Hamesha ka hai tera. You do not know how to enjoy life and let yourself free.” And, I was like, “Just reaching guys.”

 

By the time I reached it was almost 12.30 pm. Thanks to me we were late for brunch already and decided to have lunch instead. As we started looking for a food joint, I saw a group having a picnic at the beach and wondered, from where this people might have come, for how many days, is this a vacation time for them or is it that they believe in taking a time off from work and enjoying. All that I could gauge was that they were not Indians.

Several thoughts rushed through my mind as we made our way to a local restaurant which had a sea view. Our plans of trying out new things were postponed for dinner and we decided to enjoy paneer biryani, masala omlette and Brun – maska with cutting chai instead. As we made ourselves comfortable on a table, Ajay placed the order and before the waiter started going back towards the kitchen, all three of us yelled together without knowing that we did, “Bhaiya, please extra butter dalna upar se, amul butter”, Then, we waited patiently for our order to come through.

 

Just then the group which was enjoying at the beach also entered the restaurant, and suddenly everyone there started gazing at them not realizing why. The group was so large that they occupied four tables of six and in no time, we seemed inconspicuous. It was not much before that I could really had some time to think, that a little girl from the group approached our table asking for band - aid. She was hurt while playing and the group members did not have any first aid kit with them. 

 

As always, Kshama had one and she gave it to the girl. In my usual tone, I started teasing Kshama, “Tu jisse bhi shaadi karegi, banda bohot lucky hoga yaar.” She popped her eyes at me, blushed and said, “Shut up yaar, filhaal, band - aid ki baat ho rahi hai; band, baaja baraat ki nahi.” I smirked back making a funny face and said, “Achha madam, thik hai.”

 

And then, our happy time started. Food. Hot and spicy, served on our table. The aroma was so tempting, we could hardly think anything else. All of us just gave in to our senses and palate and I felt as if for the next half an hour our life’s only focus was food. Suddenly everyone was quiet as a war had been waged between our hands and mouth which we all wanted to win!

 

When I was about to have the last morsel from my plate, it suddenly dawned on me that there was guy from the large group who was constantly staring at Kshama and none of us had realized it. Yeah, Kshama was pretty you know. And this guy looked cute too. The guys’ table was not very far from our’s and I decided to get little naughty. Kshama and Ajay had gotten busy settling the bill and I had declared, “main baadme deti hun.”, and gave scope for the prankster monster in me to take charge of the situation.

 

Without Kshama and Ajay knowing what I was up to, I quickly removed a tissue paper and a marker pen from my purse and wrote on it, in bold, “WHAT’S UP DUDE??”, and, flanked it at an angle such that the guy staring at Kshama could see it. Much to my surprise, he actually saw what I had written and became a bit nervous. Well, I was a prankster, but certainly not a hooker. And having known Kshama I knew that she would not be interested in this person. She was too much into literature. There was a voice in my head that urged me to tell Kshama about whatever was happening, but then, I felt it was insignificant at that moment.

 

The guy, by then, was starting to feel uncomfortable and I was feeling very sorry for him. What if he was genuine and was not staring at her like some cheap street guy. I had also started contemplating what the guy must have liked in Kshama, and, many answers came to my mind. Her simplicity, her skin color that was dark; she was a black beauty you know. May be, he had liked her smile that always reached her eyes or may be just her casual way of being.

 

Thoughts were crowding in my mind, and, Ajay and Kshama, having settled the bill, were arguing to decide on the amount of tip to be given to the waiter. Out of nowhere Ajay started giving gyaan on service tax and stuff and Kshama was all ears to him. In these matters, I never existed to the two of them. Honestly, I preferred it that way. Then, I realized that the guy was miming and making some hand gestures, hoping that I could read his lips and understand what he was trying to say. With lot of struggle, I could read, “Is your friend English?” And the chain of my thoughts broke. He was English and somehow, my inner voice said, is he the one why Kshama has still been single?” I never have such random thoughts but that day I did. I was concerned for Kshama being single. Not that she was unhappy but she was also not sure if she wanted somebody for a lifetime. And being a slow - paced indecisive introvert, she wanted to take her own time to decide which I knew about.

 

The staring guy continued to ask, “Yes or No”, and I got distracted as I observed a person at a distance from him, behind him, who appeared to be an acquaintance. But I wasn’t sure. The staring guy did not give up on his yes/no enquiry! And I was thinking of my next response. He continued, Yes/No? On another tissue, I wrote, ‘YES.’, and flanked it for the staring guy. He felt a sigh of relief, happiness on his face. A new love was on the horizon!

 

And then, I saw the blue sea and smiled to myself.

 

I remembered why I had first started liking the color blue. It was during my early thirties when I had met this person, the one who I thought to be an acquaintance that afternoon at the beach when I was with Kshama and Ajay. He indeed was a long lost ....

 

Kabir had deep blue eyes. I had loved him very much for a good ten years of my life. We had never been together. In fact, he didn’t even know that I had feelings for him for almost eight years. But then, I gathered courage and called him one day after which we never spoke with each other. And today, I know that those memories are blue, very blue, like the lips of a person who is walking through a chilly road. Feeling numb about everything around. I had surpassed several blues when I realized that he did not love me: from that of azure mist, the blue of bubbles, that of periwinkle with a tinge of pastel indigo, continuing onto the westminster finally reaching the blue of dark midnight. It was then that I realized that as much as these 'blues' were nice to see on a color palette, I could have never survived those many in my life and then, dawned upon me, my bright turquoise blue of acceptance!