Blank Leaf

CHAPTER-I

 Blank leaf, Orphan love & deserted river of life

I was born in a small village Molalla near the holy town of Shree Nathdwara. Molalla is famous for its Terracotta artwork. Molalla is situated near the bank of Banas River; Haldi ghati is also very near Molalla. In Molalla a large number of persons work for Terracotta. The farmers work in the fields, roses are cultivated in this village, rose water is also produced in this village. My great grandfather expired only a day before I was born, so in my family no celebrations were made even I was first male child after two sisters. Since then my life never went smoothly. After my birth four more brothers were born. We were seven in all residing in a house of great grandfather. He was religious man of high repute in the town. My grandfather was a businessman but my father preferred to join a government job, he served in Indian railways for a couple of years, thereafter he joined the family business during Second World War, but this business could not last long.

Later on, my father ran a small flour mill (atta chakki) in the village. After the death of grandfather and separation of uncle the financial status of the family became miserable and went down continuously. Fortunately, grandfather married off the two sisters at proper times.

I started studying in a small private school and then joined the government school unto eleventh standard. While studying the textbooks I used to read other books also. Those were the days of Premchand, Tagore, Shakespeare Words Worth and many others. 

My mother was a simple lady, doing all the housework on her own including bringing water from well to cook food, clean the whole house. My father’s earning was not sufficient for two ends meals, but we continued to study in government schools. My younger brothers also started getting education in the same environment.

Some times I used to go to school without shoes, I remember one instance when I had to go to school but my half-pant was missing. I took a pyzama of Mohammad Sarif (one of my friends) and gave the examination. After a few years when I enquired about Mohammad Sarif, he had left for heavenly abode alas.

 As time went by, I came to college in the town. It was a government college of the town, though a co-educational college, but girls were very few and shy in nature.

Our zoology professor was very kind to me and has helped me a lot. He used to loan me books from library, notes and other study material, due to these things I got good marks and passed B.Sc with first division.

During these days I come in contact with Hindi and English literature and read many books borrowed from the district library and also from the Sahitya-Mandal of the town. College life was not so fantastic in those days, as it is now. The cycle was the only vehicle available to all. Even Professors used to come on cycles. I had an old cycle. I myself used to repair it as and when required.

We had five girls in the class, one of them was the principal’s daughter and the other four of the town. Science was the field of interest. During the annual function I took part in many competitions and carried off prizes but the concept of girl friend was not there at that time. It was difficult to talk to a girl on the road or in the veranda of the college, but one can transfer the notes, etc.

 In Shree Nathdwara Lord Shree Nathji, a child swaroop of lord Krishna is worshiped by all persons, so the town has a holy look, but now the holy atmosphere is being reduced and marble industry has come up. The art and culture of Shree Nathdwara have a tremendous effect on the life of the town. A large number of families thrive on the earning of the temple of Shree Nathji. But unfortunately, our family could not earn sufficient so we had to struggle time and again. So far those days are concerned it was more or less a story of poverty, darkness and problems ranging from family to the caste and many more.

 

My father was a strict man and used to abuse all of us as and when he gets any such opportunity, my grandfather used to save all of us but several times such things ended in big family quarrel. My mother though a patient woman of that time used to suffer a lot. Later on, she paid all her attention towards Dharma and tapasya (to practice asceticism). My sisters were all right at their houses. We brothers were busy in studies with minimum facilities.

Those were the days of late sixties, the political sphere was full of nationalism. Our town had so many freedom fighters. Corruption, mal and low level dirty politics had not grabbed the country and the system was fairly good. Pandit Nehru’s Era was over and Mrs. Indira Gandhi came with a light to the poor nation. The Nation was getting confidence slowly. I moved to Jaipur for further studies. Fortunately, I was admitted without any written test or interview to the Chemistry Department of the University of Rajasthan, here I got experiences to the real-life and angles and triangles of the world.

Jaipur- the Paris of east, the pink city and the capital of the province is a wonderful city of joy for me as I completed my studies I got my first job here and started the career as a writer and as a vagabond person in the field of literature.

When I dropped at the railway station, it was very hot. The summer has half passed, air was full of humidity and sultriness prevailed. I had no idea about the city except a letter written by my teacher for a faculty member of the University, I decided to go to him.

CycleRikshawala was very kind man, he took me to the University, and it was a huge campus, lash-green, tall and beautiful trees and above all a wonderful academic atmosphere of sixties. I reached at professor Saxena’s residence without any problem, after reading the letter of his friend and asking about where I am putting on, I said plainly

“ yet to decide Sir---.”

“well okay. I am alone in this house, till you get some other        alternative you can share with me---.”

“Thank you Sir, was the only word I could utter.

Professor Saxena managed it gracefully. The second day I went to the Department of Chemistry and completed the formalities of admission. Same day I got allotted a room in the hostel and I shifted to the hostel.

Mean while my maternal uncle was also transferred to Jaipur. I used to visit him occasionally and stayed there for some time. The university has a big library called the central library but student used to call it centre of love because love-birds always occupy it and all the youngsters used to go C.L as and when they get time or classes are off or for some academic purpose.

Our class has thirty students out of which six were girls from different parts of the state. Slowly I started getting introduction with other fellow colleagues and they were happy to know that I was a merit holder in graduation.

The rainy season has started. Some times it rained through out the day and no work could be done. Though Jaipur is a desert area but this year mansoon has came with full power. The nearest Ramgarh Bandh become full and overflowed. All my classmates decided to go for a picnic on the dam. We were twenty in numbers. Anil was asked to manage the picnic on the contributory basis, a bus was hired and we reached Ramgarh Dam. It was a wonderful scene, full of greenery, mountain and water. Water flowing all the sides, the door of the dam was opened. We took a bath in a shallow river and enjoyed a lot. Now everybody has known each other. I became familiar with culture and customs of other part of the state through my new classmates.

 

Days were passing slowly. Winter came Deepawali, the biggest festival of India is celebrated in seven colors in Jaipur, and similarly Teej and Gangaur are also very famous. Hathi polo is wonderful game played in Jaipur. Jaipur shines in monsoon. People enjoy festivals with full lustfulness including men and women. Jaipur is colorful.

One of my classmates Miss Raghwan, one day asked me for some notes. I handed over the same to her, but when received back, there was a smell of a flower. I could not forget that smell till today though much water had flown since then. I even do not know where she is and what is she doing but my first monsoon conversation without a voice is still alive in my mind, heart and soul. The classes were on, practical kept us busy. Winter flowers of Bogenvalia, poppy surrounded the University premises. Large and tall trees witness the winter. I went to shree Nathdwara once again but came back soon due to the early date of the next final examination, which would decide my future life. I got a scholarship of rupees hundred per month. I gave a treat to my friends by offering them samosa and tea. We enjoyed a lot.

Man reached on Moon through Apollo-11. It was definitely a historical event and I informed the class about it and all became happy and professor talked the major event of science. He said computers would over take the world in next twenty years. By this time we knew nothing about computers. The next century will be of computer sciences, T.V, mobile phones would also come and above all knowledge will be delivered through Internet and intranet but a long way to go. He added.

 We started studies, as examinations were due in May and practical in March. Winter was passing away and spring is knocking at the door, the air has become romantic and so the University campus. Autumn started but love continues.

My friend said

“Make love but not children

no war only love and love”

but I remember the Bhagvat Gita

“yada yada hi dharmasya

 glanir bhavati bharatha

abhutdhanam adharmasya

tadatmanm shrjamyaham”

i.e. whenever there is a decline of righteousness and rise of unrighteousness O Bharata then I send forth my self for survival of this land.

My examinations were over. I passed and got a temporary lectureship in a small town in western Rajasthan. The college was a big one, built by a rich man of the area and there were quarters for teachers. Since I was a bachelor, I shared a quarter with a colleague. Here I came across with various dimensions of life, love and society.

We had a few lady lecturers also, one of them Mrs. Geeta was in my department being senior. She acted as head. I was her only sub-ordinate. We both used to take classes but the timetable was not according to me. Her husband was a businessman in the town and she used to come late, so early classes were entrusted to me.

 As I came to know through the peons and laboratory assistants that no one can say any thing to Mrs. Geeta as her husband is a powerful man of the town and the M.P. of the area rests at her residence regularly.

It was mid-November and the political atmosphere of the country was getting heated. A large number of infiltrators have

  came to west Bengal and government could not know what to do with them. These poor persons had lots of children and having nothing. The government wanted a solution, the Prime Minister tried to solve the Problem with the help of state government but solution was far away. Looking to these conditions, the government sought the help of western countries. But no fruitful results could be achieved.

Ultimately military operation was the only way left behind, so the centre moved to military operations in Bengal and East Pakistan was converted into a new nation called Bangladesh and Pakistan reduced to half.

The military operations also took part in western Rajasthan and we in western Rajasthan witnessed the movement of troops, tanks,