A Healthy Debate
A Healthy Debate5 mins 507 5 mins 507
Our story began with a debate, or might be before that...
But I will narrate you the story from where it began for me... For Bisu (I still call him Bisu), it had started long back.... but he says, even he doesn't know, when the first spark ignite!!
So, back to the debate. It was the school debate competition and the topic was "Humanities or Science: Who wins out?" We, "Arts stream students" always had a cold war with these "Science stream book worms". As the debate progressed, I noticed, that the boy who was their trump card, was knowingly, losing the battle for me. I have met him casually many a times, but this was the first time, I noticed his eyes. And then the spark, ignited this side too.
Me and Biswajit are totally different.. in our tastes, mindset, behaviour and likings.. But as they say opposite poles attract. So was in our case.
He was quite, shy and intelligent boy, whereas I was a tomboy type of girl, who loves to dance, talk for hours and have fun in the company of friends and relatives...
It's not that we had nothing in common.. we belonged to same caste, same locality, studied at same school, prayed at same temple and.... had few common friends too. But, his friends, were limited to the fingers of his hand, and mine, were unlimited to extend of the stars in sky. Our families also knew each other for obvious reasons... Same locality, same caste and they too share common friends.
I came to know about his feelings for me, through one of his friend's friend, who happened to be my cousin's friend. Thanks to my giant friend circle! I was excited, super excited... And so I decided to make the first move... Obviously, I had too, because he was very introvert and I had to penetrate his territory of limited friends. We met at school, after school, at garden and, at our temple. Our regular temple visit increased and so increased our friendship. And finally, one day, I made him propose to me.. no one can understand how difficult it is to make someone say those three magical words... More difficult that saying it yourself. But I wanted him to say it first. And then I agreed. (wink)
We were still so different in our opinion about things that we continued to have debates, but I felt, Bisu is allowing me to win intentionally in many of our little debates, exactly like that day.
Luckily, we joined same college, Arya college of Science and Arts... Our departments were far apart but still had few common meeting points... Canteen, library and badminton court (The only common sport was badminton.... Actually I was a basketball player and he was champion of chess).
After college, I got admission for B.Ed and he went to Kolkata for higher studies.. This was for the first time that we were really poles apart, in terms of kilometres too. I wanted him to tell our parents about our affair and so I planned a melodrama during his vacations. But before that drama could reach the stage, one of his letter reached my mother's hand. "Finished" I thought. But it was "A new beginning". Our parents agreed and everything was super smooth... Without any debates. Again thanks to few things that we had in common. ( We Indians, still match caste before matching hearts).
The only whispers against our marriage that I heard was, "What.., Biswajit and Trisha are getting married? But they are poles apart..."
And as we proceeded to our new life, our priorities also changed and here again, poles apart. But now, I started losing on our debates, I don't know whether it was intentionally or unintentionally. I was melting my voice to his silent move. He wanted all of us to move to Kolkata (he got a new job offer) and me along with my in-laws moved to this 2BHK flat surrounded by narrow silent lanes, leaving behind our sweet luxurious house.
I joined a school as History teacher and he was a research analyst in an MNC company. I talked about our roots, our culture and he thought about growth and future. We still enjoyed continuing our debates about "How man is moving away from his roots", "Should India focus on building mandir or on nuclear plant", " Should ladies be allowed in Shani temple" and so on... We would have continued our face to face debates, till that day, when Bisu told us that he got a promotion transfer to London. He was very passionate about his work and so we decided (I silenced my voice). We were again poles apart, but this time continent apart. My in-laws were very supportive, they took care of my kids and I continued my job at school.
Yesterday night, I and Bisu were on video chat when a new debate again peeped in. And this time, I didn't want to give up... I argued like I did during our school days and this was for the first time none of us give way to other and the healthy debate took shape of a virtual wrestling fight. This was for the first time that we slept without our good night wishes. This was for the first time I involved other family members in our debate. Because this was the first time somebody was trying to take me away from my roots... "Bisu, you know me... I can't leave my land, my relatives (I still made it a point to visit them on marriages and special functions), my country, my ROOTS " Bisu wants us to move to London permanently. My in-laws clearly informed him that they want to spend the rest of their life at our hometown.
I am in a total fix. I need your help, few argument tips, to win this battle. I want to go back to my roots while he wants to touch his growth. I want my kids to enjoy the greenery of nature, while he wants to give them the taste of latest technology. I want to be in the world of hearts, while he still enjoys company of brains. We both love each other a lot and so I know one of us will melt into another's way.
Small poem to portray the feelings of Trisha
Somehow, between you and me,
Remains some emotions, extensively unexplained......
Sometimes, between you and me,
Remains some feelings, extensively undisclosed....