148 Beats Per Minute

Kalu was running at 28 miles per hour, even to his own surprise! As he ran his heart out, getting past the sand dunes, facing the gush of still warm wind of Thar Desert in July, he could taste the grains of sand on his tongue sticking out. He didn’t care for it, though, he wanted to go to Jhumri and blurt out everything he heard on the TV today.

His home was still a mile away. He silently cursed himself for being a sissy and choosing his home so far from Chandu’s Kirana.

"What am I thinking?" He said to himself, taking a journey back in the time! His colour gave him his name when he was born, 2 years ago. Among his 5 siblings, he was the strongest one; he was also the most dominant one and the one who would scare away the kids throwing stones at them. He just didn’t understand why these human kids pelted stones at them and laughed.

The bliss of pelting stones at feeble creatures was difficult to comprehend but this amusement in others’ pain wasn’t the only thing he wondered about humans, he also had a tough time understanding that how could they balance themselves on two feet unlike him and other animals. These differences didn’t have a long life; the moment he witnessed the magic world created by these humans, i.e. the Television, a seed of respect for the… err superior species was established.

Television was like a wormhole, which took him anywhere on the earth and beyond. Through this wormhole, his transformational journey to being a skeptical dog had begun. He wanted to be like humans, mimic everything they did, to the extent he could! Having a stable home, learning to eat with discipline, were his priorities now.

There was nothing in this world he loved more than this little idiot box until he met Jhumri just after his first birthday. He found someone to love more than the TV however it didn’t lessen the obsession over the latter. Fascinated with the human ways, he took the liberty of getting his little home off the streets of Tanot, unlike other dogs.

Checking off a stable home from his list, his current home, an old ruin was a victim of the 1971 war. Pakistani mortars could not destroy the Tanot Mata temple but this ruin wasn’t that lucky. He and Jhumri had got a couple of cactus plants from the desert to make a little garden. Kalu even dragged an old discarded quilt he found in the street for himself and Jhumri to sleep on. Jhumri sometimes used to get irritated as he kept apologizing for not giving her a proper home. He didn’t have the liberty of hands and machinery. It was enthralling to watch human thumbs and fingers bending in separate directions to clutch anything, this made things so easy.

The days were going great, he would go to the town every day to Chandu’s Kirana to watch TV. At the end of the day, Ramu from the neighboring dhaaba would give him the leftovers. He would spend hours strolling in a magical world through that little idiot box, sitting outside Chandu’s Kirana. At the end of the day, he would take those leftovers to Jhumri and spend rest of the hours playing in the old ruins and in the sand. He liked to call it the pirated version of the perfect life he wanted until that day! The day which was exactly 3 months ago…

“Damn!” He cursed himself as he tipped over a little rock he ignored on his journey to the past. He was finally at the narrow walkway leading him to the ruins; but with lungs burning in the need for oxygen and heart giving away at more than 140 BPM he was unable to move, with every passing moment he could see time slipping by. It’s on India, Do not underestimate Pakistan! Yes, that’s what the Pakistani General had said on the TV today right after the Indian Prime Minister’s address, where he declared emergency officially. It was officially on!

All those mock drills he had been participating in with the humans, digging underground shelters, storing water, the strange mixture of dim and lit, he saw in humans’ eyes, every single thing, it was time for EVERY SINGLE THING he prepared for and who knows! Maybe more! He felt it was the end! His brain was now starting to play his whole life in form of a reel in front of his eyes like he saw it the other day on National Geographic Channel.

The moment he was born, the moment he met Jhumri, the moment he first saw a Television. None of the other dogs in the area knew about the Prime Ministers, the Presidents, politicians, capitals and the world outside Tanot and India into the exquisite river of Caño Cristales, the snowy hills of the Himalayas. Once he tried telling his fellow dogs that Earth was round and they thought he was crazy. His path to isolation begun until he met Jhumri, he immediately decided to follow the human style of being with a female, staying with one for his limited life of 12 years.

Life was good in the old ruins of Tanot, with nice food from the town and daily hours of TV at Chandu’s. However, two incidents, 3 months ago, changed it all for him. He was constantly swinging his way from delight to anxiety. For the first time in the 1.5 years of the first exposure to TV, he didn’t go to Chandu’s to watch it, on the day Jhumri told him that she and he were going to have a constant company 50 days from now. Kalu was over the moon, he promised to celebrate this by accompanying her all the time. Unknown to him, exactly the same day, the seed to his accelerating heartbeat today were sown.

I have to get up. I have to reach Jhumri and the pups. We have to get out of this place. Whatever it takes… It’s a war, those tanks will be here any moment now. And if the war was going to be according to their preparations then who was to say, Tanot might be the first victim of world’s first full-scale nuclear war. I have already got the underground shelter in place. The man on TV had asked to have a Geiger counter, oxygen tank, air exhaust pump, periscope, air filter, batteries, torch and food to put in the shelter, my incompetence could only arrange the last 3 things. Besides, Jhumri doesn’t even know how to turn the torch on! I’d been able to steal it from the village, Jhumri isn’t that smart, how is she going to survive! She won’t even get water without me.

“You won’t even get water without me!” Kalu didn’t know how to make Jhumri understand what he saw on the TV. He felt as if the TV was angry at him for breaking his promise of a meeting every day when he spent that other day with Jhumri on the day of good news of his pups coming. The very next day, TV surprised him by telling about the increasing tensions throughout the border. The man on the TV also said that it would escalate to be a nuclear war followed by Pakistani Defense Minister's statement, "Pakistan is a nuclear power now, and we won't hesitate to use those weapons on India." This was the first time Kalu had heard that term. War was bad, he had been listening to this since forever but what was a nuclear war? How bad could that be!

He was confused by the expressions of those around him. They started discussing as TV mentioned war but they looked downright horrified at the mention of Nuclear war. He decided to rely on TV for more information and subsequent course of action and then he witnessed a fireball made of gases on the screen as it begun to grow in size and rise like a balloon. It looked like a mushroom. It was a snapshot of Hiroshima nuclear blast. He started to shiver, he wanted to bark but a sound won’t come out. For a 2-year-old, the aftermath of an atomic bomb explosion was scarring, even if Kalu had already lived almost 1/4th of his life, the time for which he experienced this beautiful green planet was same as a human 2-year-old.

It all started, the lessons on survival, what to do, how to save oneself, what’re the precautions and preparations to be made. The man on the TV said The first thing in the event of a nuclear attack they are going to do is cutting the water supply.

“The first thing in the event of a nuclear attack they are going to do is cutting the water supply.” Kalu repeated the words to Jhumri as is from the TV while continuing to store water in the hole he had dug. “this tap at the temple won’t work and all the water sources like the well and pond will get contaminated with radiation. We have to store water in advance if we want to stay alive.”

Jhumri made a face. Kalu asked her to come along and see for herself. He could see Jhumri frowning, she refused to cooperate. He didn’t blame her, she didn’t know what was coming. Radiation talks were alien to her. She often asked him to let it be, Kalu refused to cooperate with her as well. He had more important things to do.

Kalu shrieked, back to the present, he wondered why he wasn’t able to move ahead. It felt that whatever he ate would come out of his mouth. God knows what feeling was that! Was it some pre-nuclear war effect which they forgot to cover on the TV? His heart rate still kept increasing, he thought of giving it a count. Normal heart rate for humans was 72 beats per minute, how much more could it be for him! He had no means of keeping score of a minute either.

The counting started, but Kalu realised he didn’t know what came after 8, he repeated 1-8 again. Thanks to the hours spent at Chandu’s kirana, he knew what ‘two’ soap bars stood for, how much were 8 chocolates. He counted from 1 to 8 over and over, tears started rolling down his eyes.

He gave up! He wouldn’t even know if his heart beat was more, less or even around 72 BPM. What was I thinking! Kalu completely gave in, I could never compete with humans, what would have I done with a Geiger counter? I only recognised the shape they showed on TV. I’m a dog, does my life even matters? Why should humans care! Chandu knows how to count, how to read, he owns the TV, he is a human, those are the kind of lives that matter, not mine. He started adoring Chandu and wishing he himself was a human too. Chandu was intelligent, how quickly he counted currency and he knew exactly how much amount of what to put for how much money. His nuclear shelter was perfect, exactly according to what they said on TV. Wait! If Chandu deserves to live why was even he so afraid of the nuclear war? If a human can’t survive, then who am I?

Kalu stopped trying to get up, he didn’t care for reaching up to Jhumri now, how could he! What he wanted to know now was that why? Why despite Chandu being a human, capable of protecting himself, capable of stopping the war wasn’t assured of his life! Weren’t humans all powerful and all capable? The Prime Minister of India, the Pakistani General, who declared the war, weren’t they able to err.. undeclare it? For the lives of their own kind? Humans?

He was helpless, but Chandu wasn’t! or was he! He closed his eyes amidst his raising heartbeat, vomit came out of his mouth and yet Kalu smiled, he knew that what Kalu was to Chandu, Chandu was no more than that for the warmongers. His whole life, he spent trying being a human, it felt like a mirage in the desert of Tanot now. He didn’t mind himself lying in the pool of his own vomit, heartbeats taking an all time high note… 144...145...146...147...148.

There was no ellipsis after 148, it was a full stop for Kalu, the dog. There was no nuclear war, no tanks marched into Tanot, no life was lost but the worth of Chandu’s life was known to Kalu at 148 beats per minute before he left this magical world ruled by err... humans.