Under Those Crumpled Papers

We were like lovers;

Maybe more than that perhaps,

I was scared to admit those flexural feelings I felt after so while that I couldn’t reciprocate and was too scared to commit something that was too real for me to accept.

I was scared;

I do regret pushing him away from me and my life but at same time I feel content without having anyone around me.

I want to be alone but not forever. I gave vague reasons. And he only said “You never gave me a chance, you never gave us a chance.”

He was a dark agony that covered my dark felony and we both were perfect toxic together.

There are some days I want to fall in love recklessly.

The kind when we are so in love when the darkness comes and forget everything with the morning light..

I want those days where I could hold you tight and it would be just us against the odds as always. Just one more time, I want to hold you back .

Eating all those Poppins and coke, I want you to call me mine and to whisper those cliché words to see me blush like a small girl.

I want those days where we just hold hands and not talk, fighting for silly things and those awkward silence while sitting with each other.

I just want one last kiss and one last hug and one last chance to hold your hand and one last time I could just close my eyes and lay my head next to your chest.

I miss you;

But I’m a coward, to allow myself to accept that I’m not able to love anyone nor deserve one.

I’m a coward to accept the fact that I love you beyond the differences, problems and everything.

Despite of everything, I’m stupid enough not to accept the fact that whenever I see your photo or see you in the hallway, I don’t know why my heart skips a little, maybe it’s because I still love you.

I want you;

Now it’s all gone, only memories stay within me, I know you hate my existence but I still know you loved me the way I could never. I never felt love the way you loved me But alas I was a fool to let you go.

Waiting for you;