The Seasons

There upon the tree 

Without any leaves 

Stands there all alone 

I wish someone was there for me then

Snow is pouring down 

Like heavyweights 

Burdens of fear and anxiety 

Destroying my good traits 

No one in sight for miles

I never desired any either

Just one light just one light 

That brightens my whole life 

Is what I'm craving for 

The snow melts and I see my reflection 

The sun above turns to pleasant heat 

The bees humming and birds chirping found a new mission 

When would I find mine

It does take time 

But how long ... ill try I'll wait 

The pleasant turn scorching 

When that pain's unbearing 

I'm idle ...I'm lonely ...nothing to do...feeling uneasy 

What should I do 

To stop this suffering 

Something ...anything please come to mind 

I am really craving

And after all this asking ...I get

Lingering doubts if I can really do something 

Here's where it's either a twist or the monotonous one...

The monotonous 

I don't think I can do anything

It brings in that relevant feeling 

It's the "end" isn't it ...

It's that dead end

Tears flow like clouds bursting

Irritation screams like thundering

And that's when reality strikes like lightening 

When I ask the question what am I doing 

And this thought brings in 

The shedding of all my dreams

All those cakes of wishes topped with cream 

The glass shatters ...falls into pieces 

My heart aches to have this feeling 

It's not that I can't but that I'm just not doing it ...

Why I'm asking 

Myself over and over again

I answer...

My thoughts don't sync

My actions don't link 

I keep wondering what's wrong

I end up entering the sink

My thoughts are a mess 

My actions ..ugh..I don't confess

What's wrong 

And what's waiting is the sink 

The sink of fallen tears ...of curses...clogged with tissues of pain and hurt...what's more ...worse pathogen like thoughts...

Well that how it ended ...everything falling in an endless cycle of seasons...

The winter...confidence

The spring...hope

The summer...brink

The monsoon...burst...and

The fall...

Not so soon though because that was the end of the monotonous

The twist

I will sustain this

To bring the good out of me

I'll endure this

Because I know I would be pleased 

To withstand those thoughts 

And test my patience 

Is just an exercise 

And create that terror 

into pleasant bliss

Is my choice

The sun about a thousand miles away 

Smiling with its blazing rays

Supporting me 

Making me strong 

To withstand even the toughest paths 

And help me find the path I want to with its light

When I do eventually 

Tears flow with a pleasant smile 

Enjoying the musical thunder and 

The visuals of lightening

My cheeks swollen with bliss

And eyes bloated

Happiness abound 

This is when I didn't feel lonely 

Enjoyed company 

Felt I had a family 

And boasted crazy

But that's not where I must end 

I must persist till the end 

Find further ways 

New caves

Tracks and destination 

Which awaits 

My arrival 

All of that is my excitement 

I might get even better 

But.....

The fall is when I realise

That my efforts were not enough 

Happiness blinded I boasted 

The leaves of success dried and I couldn't withstand their weights 

They fell eventually 

And there was a time when I couldn't feel anything around me or in me 

I felt empty 

Everyone who were there then left now

Except the perennials in my mind 

My origin

Which in my subconscious state remind me of who I am

I realise who I could be

Who I was before 

A deep rooted grounded tree

Working hard to grow through the seasons 

A sapling who withstood the strong winds 

Enjoying each moment without reasons

That's when I realise 

What is the truth behind my journey 

"Appreciating the beauty

Instead of detesting my nurtury 

This mystery 

Behind interpreting seasons

Lies deep within each of us 

To realise its truth we must just dig a little further 

To the Neverland wonder 

So don't put the problem away

Instead, find a way

Because after every winter

There is spring growth and

That blossoms then stays forever

In your own land