The Incomplete Kinda Complete

It's already 21st of the month

A month not too old

& yet not a month too young

Just as I woke up usual

I felt everything so unusual

Not that it was something new

.....This unusuality had already invaded my life since a few weeks

The cup was smiling there

The dishes on the place

The birds chirping

The sun shining

.....Everything was just as every day.

But something was not up

Were the VIBES different?

Or was it ME?

Was it 'ME' who didn't know WHO it was?

Was it 'ME'who didn't know WHAT it was?

Fighting! ...and Fighting!

Who won?

Was it 'ME' or the 'INNER ME' ?

Forget it!... Let's have dinner!

But I am already full!

Let's watch a movie?

But I am already soo sleepy!

Let's sleep then?

But my eyes don't close!

Let's talk?

But to WHOM?... and about WHAT?

Whether or whether not

Should I just stay home?

Or should I just go out?

And as I felt a bit better

NOT so fast!

The phone muttered!

And 'HE' poped up with a message

"Hey! lets catch up"

Yes! Even after six months

Even after the day, you left me all by myself

Even after I said "yes"

Even after you said "I can't "

You left me behind on our WEDDING DAY!!

The most promising day it could have been

Instead, it became the most embarrassing!

Embarrassing that I chose myself for you!

Embarrassing that I did believe in you!

When you told me "you deserve better"

I was a fool enough to not trust you.

When you said to me "you are a blessing to me"

I was stupid enough to think less worthy of me.

It's not YOU! It was never YOU!

Its ME! It always was!

Should I feel BETTER to have met you?

Or should I feel WORSE to have known you?

Should I feel betrayed to have lost you in my faith?

Should I feel faithful enough to face myself?

Maybe this is how it has to be.

Maybe this is my story

"the incomplete kinda complete"