The/A Paddlester

I am the/a Paddlester

Walking barefoot on the way/course

To the shelter, into the shelter

Of heavenly happiness as gay

My involvements, emotions, sentiments

Include myself, my success and me

Still is the other need, of course

And the lovely time always

Heartful of love, I want to receive

But I am not capable to be/get

I have been so long in/to/into hatred 

Now I won't feed conditions alike

I am selfish in case

Of love, if I give to someone

I must and should receive

From each, I gave

This was, - is my policy/path

Even I am against help/ sought

Because I can't expect it back by

And I can't be a selfless flop

Even I am in the way of DESIRE

Fulfilling each plead it asks

And DESIRE in addition is

Giving me PLEASURE

My pleasure and desire

Is not only bashing

It's just having a lovely thing

With a few or some.

It's okay till the case of pleasure

But in clashes at home

Paddlester is bashed off/with

His crucial life's moments

Actually something "a great one"

Maybe Paddlester himself or love

Throughout his course

Through clashes "nonsense"

But only one thing, I agree, belief

Helped me

Was desire only being

The course of Paddlester

Is/was not easy then,

It is not now even

But he is walking master

I believe I am because

Because all through my way

I was controlling and I controlled myself, I believe

And I quit not in the air sway.

The Paddlester believed

Something hindering me

Was my own nature

Of being soft, selfless, honest, bud

Yet, I am unable to

To leave/ keep my nature on/at bay

Actually snake leaves off, old clothing

But I am not even a snake

Instead, my nature is poisoning me

Since/from my childhood

Which was the brittle and fragile wood

A wood tough, so tough to be axed

All types of axes tried; I have

But always failed and kicked

Back by/with my nature

At least now I quit

My writings, and sit

To read and then sleep

Sleep. Sound- sleep.