Paradoxical I Am

Paradoxical I am, 

sometimes I say 

I am the biggest winner, 

sometimes I say 

I am the destined loser. 

Paradoxical I am, 

sometimes I say 

I am ecstatic, 

sometimes I say 

I am underwhelmed. 

Yes, 

my emotions 

betray me, 

my actions 

never promise

to tryst with certainty, 

my performance 

always veer. 

Am I fighting with myself? 

Am I testing myself? 

Am I lost in the eerie world? 

Yes, 

paradoxical I am, 

sometimes 

I am the biggest winner, 

sometimes 

I am the destined loser.