I Want To Cry

I am a man and I want to cry

Can I?

Oh! But you think that's effeminate and weak

Okay then I will wear the mask of masculinity and strongness

And will leave me to die

But really I want to cry.

Can I talk my feelings out at least?

But you will tell it to the whole world and I won't like it.

Okay, I will let it all deep inside me and will always say 'Good' when you will ask 'How am I?

You will accept me then, right?

But I want to cry?

Can I count on YOU because I think you are the one?

Yes yes you will say and then slowly will betray me just like everyone else and I won't be able to handle that.

Okay, I will make my buddha self understand that I will always be alone.

But I want to cry.

Can I?

You know what, I have got tired of it.

I don't want to live anymore. I want to die.

But then, you will think I have shown cowardice.

Okay, I will try to show it as an accident and not suicide. So that you will still like me after I die.

But I want to cry. Can I?

I really would love to live and have a purpose in life

But you wouldn't let me survive.

But why am I doing everything for your acceptance?

Society society society.

Fuck this society, not literally but of course.

I want to scream. I want to cry.

Surely words help but not much.

I once believed people help but they don't.

And you are definitely not helping.

So, stop right there. I don't need to listen to you.

Because you make me feel like a criminal, you want to attach the strings to me, you want to capture me in a cage.

But I want to be free.

I am a man and now, I want to cry.