I believed you were alive...

That day...

You placed your hand upon head,

There was nothing alarming in the words you said,

Nothing amiss, nothing to be concerned,

No flames to give away your internal burns..

You dropped me to the university, for my mathematics exam

Everything was perfect, a routine well planned,

You gave me a hug and spoke soft words into my ear,

I soaked them in but only later they were clear...

"Little brother stay happy, never waste your tears,

Fight the good fight, never bow to your fears,

I love you more than life, no matter far I may be, 

To you I'm always near..."

Days of calling, asking and inquiring,

"Where is my dear older sister?"

All the wrong thoughts firing,

Why does this all feel sinister?

2 weeks of searching and seeking low and high,

Didi all this time, I believed you were alive!

Then the phone call came that God! no one should hear!

The culmination of my nightmares, the manifestation of all my fears!

Mike, Tanya is no more! She has ended her life!

Didi I believed with my heart that you were still alive!

Frantic calls and my fears finally confirmed...

I had become an orphan again, with your body my soul also burned...

10 years gone by, my innocent heart still cries..

My dear Didi! My dear Didi!

I believe you're still alive!!

I believe you're still alive!