Disappear Like Smoke Rings

Remember the 'Vanishing Girl' scene?

I want to replicate the play today.

I yearn to flee from my home.

Workplace, society, failed me.

I need to go away from here.

From this earth at this hour!

Despair has engulfed the air.

Misery has become my buddy.

The daily dose of acting has to stop.

Everything has made me crazy.

Listen, I cannot breathe.

I cannot pretend more.

It's hurting my morals.

I crave to escape soon.

But where, why and how?

Do I have the slightest idea?

Can my family, stop me from this?

Are my folks ready to accept my move?

I am fallacious in their memory.

The past dwells into their belief.

They empathize with their sad eyes.

The mock concern is flowing from their heart.

My situation winks at me from the roof.

Do I need any of this right now?

Enough of daily soap opera!

Nobody desires to share my burden.

My family brushed off my anguish.

People have no time to lift the veil of gloom.

They ask me to move on with my pretense.

In everyone's eyes, this is just a transient phase.

But I am burning within, with my worry & fear,

Clinging to me like a second skin, I cry!

"Lazy people suffer from panic, do some work",

Advices like these roll out from my co-workers.

How their callous and brutal words stab me in the heart?

How will I analyze my feeling without clarity?

I should vanish in smoke vapours, slowly into the air.

Nobody can discover me, hither and beyond.

Who will be troubled after my disappearance?

My family, buddies, co-workers or neighbours?

My house help, washerman, the shopkeeper or the driver?

My retreat will create many hypotheses.

It will be passed around with salt and chilli.

The society will feast on my character for days and nights.

How is it going to affect others when they did not bother to hear?

I was complaining to be depressed and miserable all the time,

 Irritated with everyone, innumerable times in a day.

Sounds were unbearable to me, the silence is what I craved.

I did not want to socialize anymore, nothing was enjoyable,

I had tried therapy, meditation, listening to music, even art!

Nothing had helped to calm down my chaotic brain.

I was operating in an auto-pilot mode: No end to this state.

I am going away from everyone.

I am sorry that it's going to end.

Well, I am not taking my life.

I am just disappearing now.

From my family and friends:

I am fading like the smoke.