A Letter to Eternity

Oh mama I miss you.

This world just doesn’t get me, or maybe I don’t let it to.

I remember the way you gazed at me,

Even when I thought you weren’t feeling me,

Your eyes disclosed, you were seeing through,

Oh mama I miss you.

I remember the innocence of your eyes,

All heavens came down when you used to smile,

And when you’d get angry, all ferocious and fiery,

I wouldn’t stand you a minute, thinking how you looked so scary.

And do you remember the fights we had?

Some forgotten so easily, some turned really bad.

No matter the differences, despite all our issues,

I’d wander thousand places but you were the home I ran into. 

If only I could ever tell,

Mama how much I miss you.

And when you got sick, I realised how big god was a prick,

Just when I knew the love I had for you,

How dearly I wanted to reciprocate it.

But fate had something hideous in its mind,

As our love got stronger, you got weaker day and night.

And how desperately I wanted you alive,

Every time I looked at the moon, your face came to my mind.

And oh! the way you fought with such grace, 

Always being the sun kiss to my sombre face.

Never unsettled, never a bit of fear too,

I so wish I could tell, mama, I miss you.

Everyday was a battle between you and your pain,

Each day we’d wonder, we’ll win or is it all in vain.

And I do remember how hard I tried to feel what you felt,

But one look on your face would tell how my empathy failed.

I shouted, screamed and how I’d get angry with you often times,

But you were always so quiet, 

seldom annoyed, always benign. 

Now, that you are gone,

I conjure pictures of when we were along.

I remember your last words to me when you said, ‘oh my son’,

And how I held your hands, so weak so numb.

We did not speak a word, I wept still gazing at your palms,

Drops fell on your hands and I looked up, 

You too were crying and I took you in my arms.

I remember how you gasped for life on your last day,

Your last breath, the time, colour of sky and everything put to a stay.

Nothing has ever since been the same.

I keep dwelling in a world where you and I will meet,

We will talk all day and tell how we have been.

And I’ll ask about those dreams when you came to see me,

Was it always really you, or was it just my memory.

And that will be the day I get to tell all anew,

Oh my dear mama, how much I missed you..