The first romantic movie I watched was Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Yes! the one with the tomboy girl (Anjali) suddenly growing out her hair and wearing sarees so that her rude arrogant best friend (Rahul) would fall for her. But earlier as an impressionable eleven year old I was thoroughly impressed and determined to find 'my Rahul'. And once I entered the most embarrassing period of my life; teenage, I applied the movie like a formula into every crush I might harbor. I grew my hair till my waist, I blushed whenever a boy spoke to me and though I couldn't wear a sari or play basketball I became the embodiment of Anjali. But unfortunately enough this did not end in my crush and I dancing in the rain!
My friends giggled and teased me at every chance they got and then, somehow he received the news. And he didn't feel the same way. (Don't feel bad for me just yet, this is just the beginning)
I thought " Eh, It's not like the first person I like is going to be my soulmate. I think it's time to leave Anjali behind". So now, I decided to follow in the footsteps of 'Heer' from' Jab we met'. Feisty, bubbly and annoyingly talkative, my manifestations didn't lead to finding love but losing of some friends. A small price to pay for love, right? WRONG! Eventually the rumours reached 'mi amour'. And that lead to him telling me to my face, that no sane boy would ever like me. I sobbed for days you know? I had already married him in my head. Now,I felt widowed,
Well, after these two many, many more gentlemen came and surrendered. I thought maybe I was coming off as 'too desi' so I embodied Kate Winslet from Titanic. Got a heart shaped necklace and everything ! And as you can guess, that resulted in the sinking of not a ship, but my heart. It sucks, doesn't it? It's the worst feeling, because all you can do is dream about and wish for them, but never have them.
Let's cut back to the present, nine crushes and, nine rejections! But the most important part of all this is how it has shaped me. As much as it hurts me, I love being able to love or like someone. I love the way my body tends to tingle when they are around, the butterflies in my stomach, the dreams of lavish weddings and just that feeling where you feel invincible, like everything is possible - only love can give you that.
Unrequited love doesn't need to end in you drinking in sadness or listening to emotional Arijit songs on repeat (been there done that) it could very well result in you understanding yourself and evaluating your relationships with people. Let that familiar feeling envelop your body and develop you.
And that is exactly why I desperately wait for Crush No.10 to come. With that, at least I can end my 'unrequited lovers list' with a round figure!