" We laughed together, we played together. You nurtured and grew me up."
It was in the afternoon of early September Dad told me that your cancer has had a re-occurrence. I remember how hard I thrived to hide my tears from you that time.
Within a month you grew pale and weak. It became hard for you to even eat your food and drink and swallow your medicines. My heart cried seeing you like this,but there was nothing i could do about it anymore.
September 30,2017 I was supposed to leave for my studies. It was you who even being half-unconscious, wished me a safe and fruitful journey. I never knew that it would be the last thing you would speak to me! My heart ached leaving you like this.
October 8, 5 a.m. in the morning, my phone rang. Seeing Dad on the other end of the phone at such an odd hour, my heart already assumed the worst. I was taken aback. The 16 year-old me was inconsolable but also thankful to god who put a quick end to your suffering. Me being 800 miles away from you was a mercy to me from God that made it 0.001% easier for me to let you go.
It was hard for me to see your lifeless body, once full of life lying stiff in the coffin. All I wanted was to hug you tight and never let you go, but I knew I was too late for that now. Today, when I look back in time,i see your happy face taking me to walks,telling me stories and making Atta Ladoos for me.
I'm sorry for not being able to fulfil your last wish and live up to your expectations. I'm sorry that I couldn't fulfill my promise of getting good grades in my intermediate.
If I could go back in time and change one thing, I would stay back home, lie beside you and stay with you until your last breath.
I just need you to know that wherever you are,I hope you're at peace.
I love you Dadi!
I do very much