Inspirational Others Children
I came to your world to make it ours. You were an independent person and so was I, but both of us made compromises to settle down with each other. I can see all that you have done for me and I can’t tell you enough how much I am thankful to be with you.
Now, we have a baby and I was on seventh cloud when I took him in my arms for the first time. I gave up my job, so that I can be available 24 hours to his needs. Motherhood is rewarding but it’s also tiring. Long sleepless nights, days passing by with a tiny human being clinging to your body, no time for self, I go through all of it, in addition to non-stop complains of your Mom. No matter what I do, it is never enough.
Each night I go to sleep telling myself, that I am shaping up a human being. Our baby will grow up into a great person and it will all be worth it. But I have to wait for years to see that happen. I need little assurances now and then to keep myself motivated and going till then.
I don’t have many things left to feel self-worth since I left my job. Now, I find my sense of achievement, when I see you smile. You can’t imagine how I feel when I don’t see your genuine smile for days.
I feel needed when my baby clings to me lovingly. You want to help me with the baby during nights and I appreciate your intention. But, he wants me at that time and gets restless if I don’t pick him up. After a long day of having no one around to talk to, he makes me feel I am still needed by someone. Please don’t take away that from me.
Amidst all this, I have forgotten my true self. When I look back into the past, I definitely admire the girl I used to be, but I don’t bear any resemblance with her now. She is just so content, independent and complete in herself. I am nowhere close. You want to help me, but that will make me only more dependent on you. Instead of going out of the way to help me, please let me be, who I am. My independence doesn’t decrease your value in my life.
Married life doesn’t come with a manual but there are some basic rules you can stick to. Believe it or not, I don’t always confront you but I know when you are lying to me. Every lie takes away a moment of happiness from us. Please tell me the truth. You will be surprised to find out, how much I can really take. I may never be perfect, but I am doing my best. Please appreciate it, no one else does. Last but the most important one, you expect me to understand that I am special in your life. But, while I am running in a house of sqft day night (in state of sleep deprivation), catering to the needs of the baby and you, I can barely take out the time for bathing or nature calls (Do you know I don’t drink enough water to avoid my trips to washroom). How do you expect me to believe, that this sweaty new mother is still special to you?
Do you think, I don’t know how I look post pregnancy? My old clothes and the mirror in our bedroom never let me forget. You don’t need to keep reminding me with your suggestions to join some gym or yoga classes. What I have really forgotten is my value in your life? If you can constantly remind me of how I look, you can at least occasionally make me feel special. Let me and everyone around know what I mean to you.