The Mind Battle

Lita slumped on the couch with tears trickling down her cheeks. She dreaded going to the office the next day owing to the humiliation she underwent this morning. It hadn't been a great day for her in the office since her presentation went awry. She had burnt midnight oil preparing slides but still, the vulnerable side of her mind took over thereby thwarting her plans to render a smooth and hassle-free presentation. Even the previous day, she was overthinking about how the presentation would pan out. Perhaps her overthinking dragged her to the abode of anxiety which broke loose when it mattered the most. She cringed recounting the moment when everybody giggled when she failed miserably to deliver the presentation. She was bombarded with sweat beads all across her body that reflected her anxiety when she was on stage looking at her peers. She had done enough preparation. Had she not been attacked by panic, perhaps she would have earned a standing ovation. How to show her face to her peers the next morning? Are they going to avoid her calling her a loser? Will her boss demote her for having failed to deliver a presentation? Incessant thoughts wrecked her mind slowly eating her mental space. She prayed to God to not vouchsafe the next morning so that she could stay away from the office which was now looking like a hostile hell. In a place where there is cutthroat competition to climb the social ladder, nobody gives a damn about her perilous anxiety. She cursed her mind and acted like a devil instead of a human. She deliberately stayed awake even though the clock was ticking fast going in the direction of the next day. Suddenly, a thought sprang up in her mind coercing her to apply for leave the next day so that she could avoid seeing those who were present when she was humiliated this morning. What if they perceive her to be a coward? Will they cook up stories about her in a negative way? Again, she became victim to the onslaught of frightful thoughts that refused to subside. She quickly flicked on the switch to illuminate her room and picked out her phone to watch a comedy show. She desperately wanted to make her thoughts go dormant. The comedy show gave her some respite from the silent agony she endured. Unfortunately, she cannot binge-watch on the show perennially which means the nagging thoughts that pretended to be dead can come back to haunt her. She couldn't muster the courage to confide in her friends or parents regarding the ominous anxiety that threatened to blow up her professional and personal life. Eventually, she retired to sleep owing to mental exhaustion. 

The alarm went nuts as it went on a ringing spree disrupting Lita's sleep. Her heartbeat rose to a crescendo due to the arrival of the next day which hid secrets beneath its cloak. The moments of the previous day replayed in her brain infusing anxiety in her. Without a second thought, she picked up her phone and sent a leave mail stating she had been assaulted by a headache. This was the breather she was looking for after all that materialized the previous day. She even switched off her phone so that she wouldn't be compelled to see the notifications that would pop on her phone. Could this day resuscitate her wounded mind? She switched on the television to watch a movie named "The Devil Game" Upon watching the movie, the dreadful scenes seemed to assault her vulnerable mind. Already she was going through a nightmare and now the horror movie worsened her anxiety. What you consume indeed matters especially when you are going through an ordeal. She strolled down the park and had a view of picturesque green trees at the backdrop of a magnificent sky painted with crimson red and orange. Just like that, the time raced ahead. She did feel wistful when she had to trace her route back to home. The illuminated day had been swallowed by the intimidating night that conspired to prickle her with nasty thoughts. The next day loomed large threatening her with ramifications for applying for leave. She wanted to sue the next freaking day so that it could disappear into the oblivion of jail. We can program our imagination any way we desire but can't code the reality our way. Will the devil next day work in cahoots with her anxiety to churn out yet another moment of humiliation? She wanted to amputate the limbs of that devil so that his plan wouldn't come to fruition. She is succumbing to the hegemony of her negative side of the mind thereby incapacitating the positive side of her mind. The nasty thoughts solidified their presence in her mind. Lita clutched her head trying to pluck the brain out of it so that she could seamlessly breathe for a while but to no avail. She looked at the clock and it had already raced to the number ten which meant it was now time to sleep and when she peeled the layers of her eyes, the next morning would arrive. Phew! This is terrible. After another round of tear-churning spree, she succumbed to the dream of sleep. 

As usual, the sun God ascended from downwards to stamp his authority over the world. The rooster crowed to commemorate the beginning of a fresh day. Lita who had been clinged to the deep layers of sleep had to peel those layers to come out from her dream. Yet again it was the insane ringing sound of the alarm that woke her up. Her lazy side of the mind persuaded her to apply leave again, but she feared the consequences that could come with it. How many days can she avoid her colleagues? How many days can she avoid the office? Taking a deep breath punctuated with anxiety she took a shower and donned an office cloth. She looked at the mirror which mirrored her image. She closed her eyes, but the nasty thoughts rushed back as she quickly widened her eyes. Lita climbed onto the bus with the earphones clung to her ears. The devotional songs propagated some peace into her mind that had become a chaotic battleground. She climbed out of the bus and took strides towards the premises of the office that had been injected with pandemonium. 

"Oh, God, how do I go in?" her mind was stuck in catch catch-twenty-two situation. 

The anxious thoughts bereft of compunction took sadistic pleasure in her predicament. She tool paces towards her cubicle refraining from making eye contact with the employees. She couldn't imagine someone laughing at her which would only spoil her day. Nothing embarrassing materialized inside. Her peers asked if she was fine since she took a leave the previous day. They had no smirk on their face but had emotions that seemed to soothe her soul with a pinch of serenity. Did everybody forget the presentation she tried to present two days ago? Even her boss gave her a pat on her back because he had meticulously checked her slides and was pretty impressed by her work. "Oh, God! Then why did I go through hell?" she had no answer to the glaring question. 

It is the negative side of her mind that took control on its own and caused such disruption in her mood even though nothing bad had transpired. It is the pattern of her mind which she is addicted to which has become a cause of concern. At lunchtime, she confided in her colleague about the mental turmoil that had been plaguing her mind. Her colleague who was taken into confidence cajoled her to join the yoga class on a daily basis which allowed her mind to strike a chord with the universe. Subsequently, she enrolled in a yoga class that eventually uplifted her confidence and calmed her mind which had become a breeding ground for unpleasant thoughts. Like her colleagues, even she spent her life moments peacefully thanks to the significance and impact yoga had on her life. The nasty thoughts squirmed as their tentacles were sliced by the power of yoga. Her mind became still devoid of thoughts turning into an ocean of tranquility. She gained the courage to give a presentation without any iota of doubt creeping in. Consequently, she was able to turn her dreams into reality thanks to her serene mind.

Why do we go through hell inside our minds even though nothing substantial materializes in the external world? Why do we cook hurting stories inside our minds that never become a reality in the external world? Why do we allow insignificant thoughts to work so easily to send us into a tailspin? Maybe, it is giving you a warning that you are being controlled by the negative side of the mind. It is just a pattern of the mind. We can all change our mind patterns by advocating the right actions in our lives. Pain is not permanent. It only comes to teach the right lesson and drive us in the right direction. There is reason hidden beneath every ordeal we go through in life. Once you win the fiercest battle in life which is the mind war, nothing can shake your confidence, and nothing can sink your courage. All recalcitrant demons that sneak into your mind on the pretext of being thoughts cannot breach your peace once you win the mind battle. It's okay to be vulnerable at times which sends a message to the creative power of the universe who will come to our rescue in any visible or invisible form. Pay obeisance to the creative power of the universe who gives you an instrument at the right time to usher in a new era embellished with joy and peace.