The Life Without Parents

Losing a parent changes you. It changes the way you live, it changes the way you love, it changes the way you view things in life. Unless someone has been through it, they could never understand.

I have often sat there and thought why? Why me that has to go through life with the passing of a parent. Not one but both Mom and Dad. I remember laying there late at night thinking why am I not good enough to go through life and have parents. I asked myself was it me? Was I not good enough to have the privilege to go through life with parents? Now that I’m older I realized that God had different plans for me, and that it wasn’t my fault.

I have my bad days and the good. Like every normal person in this world. Not everyday is going to be a picture perfect day. I go through days when I’m sad, lonely, mad, and hate everything. I have days when I sit in silence not wanting to talk to anyone. I stay in my room and just sit there waiting for life to pass on. I’m mad because I miss my parents. The worst part is that there’s nothing I can do about it. I have no power over it what so ever. I go day by day without my parents and I’m mad about it. I’m mad because I don’t get to see them, talk to them. Most importantly just tell them I love them And it hurts like hell.

But I would also be lying if I said I didn’t have the good days. Even though I don’t have my mom and Dad I was still blessed with an Amazing Grandma and Great Grandma. If it wasn’t for them I probably would not be where I am today. They have taught me to be strong, caring, and a good person. I have also met some pretty amazing friends on the way too. My three best friends Brianna, Zabrina and Katie. I can’t thank God enough for putting them in my life. Even though some days can be hard for me I try as hard as I can to put a smile on my face. I want to be the girl my parents would be proud of. I want to be the girl that my parents would smile about and wouldn’t be afraid to introduce to their friends.

Life for me is challenging at times. I miss my parents so much that I can't put it into words. But I have learned a lot since they have passed. I mostly learned how to be strong. If I could do anything to bring them back believe me I would. But unfortunately, I can't and that’s why I try to live life to the fullest and be thankful for what I do have. I love you forever Mom and Dad forever and Always. Until we meet again I hold you in my heart everywhere I go and everyday.