Still I Live..

I had a series of fears in my life and still have one. My present greatest fear is about how my family will survive after my death. To my mind, there are specific reasons behind every fear in life. If one starts analyzing those reasons, there is no room for fear. It is true that a person will have fears right from birth till one’s death, but it differs from person to person and fear changes its form, from one to another. Pain, agony, anxiety, suffering, and death are the main reasons behind any fear.

For example:

When I was a child, I was always afraid of darkness. My greatest fear in those days was that somebody may pick me in night and take away from my mother.

When I was in school, I always feared that I may fail in my examinations and if failed, my parents would scold me and sometimes even stop me to send to school. That was the fear in me then.

When I was in college, I always feared as to whether I would get the first class in my graduation. If I did not get, I might not be able to get admission for higher studies.

When I completed my graduation, I had the fear that how long I would have remained as unemployed youth.

When I got a job, I always had a fear, whether I would lose my job for any reason, beyond my control.

When I wrote the examination for promotion, I always feared whether I would get a promotion and a higher salary thereafter.

When I was a middle-aged man, I always feared that I might go ill anytime and whether my doctor would be able to diagnose my disease.

When I was 55, I feared whether I would be diagnosed with cancer or some other terminal illness and get proper treatment and survive.

When I became 59 years, I feared I would have to sit at home after retirement and whether my children will take care of me, without any income for me.

When I was 61 years, I feared that I would also die one day as my friends died of heart attacks.

When I turned to 65 years, I fear what will happen to my family, after my death and whether she will be able to manage the entire affairs of the home, alone without the help of my children. This is my present greatest fear.

                                                                    ---o0o---