Second Hand Trust

CHAPTER 1

The gossip that my friend had bought today was about my husband, she was shamelessly telling me about how she saw him in the mall with another woman, much older woman, and he was courting her like a lover. What I was hearing was hurtful enough, but to hear it from my friend about the father of my daughter, my love, my friend of more than five years was humiliating. All my brain was telling me was to stop believing this gossip-monger who in her life did nothing accept snoop around other’s business and tell the rest of my friends and me about it. But to think of her gossiping about my family, my husband was straight throat-slitting painful.

After she left, I started looking for clues, from the smell in his clothes to checking his drawers. I was going crazy; I was behaving like a jealous, mad woman. But this was my husband, my love who hated infidelity himself, and now he was cheating on me. How could I be sane? How could I not freak out, knowing he is seeing some other woman?

I began by smelling all his shirts; I did find some unusual aroma, could it be a woman’s perfume or deodorant? I started to smell his other shirts too; most of his clothes were clean, so there was no evidence. I needed to check his phone; it would have all the messages and would provide proof that I needed to confront him.

When things needed clarity and when there seems to be no way to find the truth, time seems to crawl like a tortoise. The wait was painful, I tried working, cooking, but nothing helped, and time seemed to have stopped moving. The thoughts were so unbearable; I needed to talk to someone, and I knew exactly whom to call.

Hey, how are you?

What a nice surprise, I am doing well. It’s been some six, seven years since we last spoke and you still had my number?

We exchanged the number on FB remember, so just glanced through the old messages to find it.

Wow, so tell me, must be something important that you called me out of the blue.

Well, can we meet? I need to talk to you.

Sure.

He told me to meet him in Café Coffee Day in an hour. I knew I should wait before talking to him, but I was going crazy. Ravin won’t be home before Nine, and I would be mentally ill by that time.

CHAPTER 2

He was wearing the same old sexy smile as he entered the café, I couldn’t remember why I stopped talking to him in the first place. Oh, I remember, he proposed me with a ring when he realized someone else was too interested in me. I did give him hints and lead him, but he never managed to steal my heart the way Ravin did.

It took me an odd five minutes to greet him after finally accepting that he was actually sitting in front of me.

You look good.

You don’t look bad yourself. Must say marriage has done well to you.

And he stood up to get us coffee. As he walked away, I started to think what I should tell him that a friend said to me that my husband is cheating on me with an older woman, and I wanted to know the truth, and I need his help in that. Even hearing it in my head, it sounded crazy. I shouldn’t rush into this; I need to give my husband benefit of the doubt, he deserves that, I can’t start to look for proofs without being entirely sure about his infidelity.

So, tell me, what was so urgent that you had to meet me to discuss it?

I was alone, and I just needed to get out of the house and spend some time with a friend.

Arshya, we were never friends, you always knew how I felt about you. I must agree that Ravin was persistent. He never stopped pursuing you, following you night and day for... I don’t remember, many...many years, but he did seek you till you agreed to marry him.

Three years, he insisted on being in love with me, pursued me for three years till I finally accepted his proposal of marriage. He even changed his religion for you, isn’t it?

Well, that was all a ruse; he did convert himself to Christianity before marriage, but never once made it to church with me. Instead, I have left going to church, and I don’t even pray anymore.

Hey, you seem upset, is everything ok?

Yes, I am sorry; I should have never led you. You fell for me, and I couldn’t reciprocate your feelings. Instead, I went ahead to marry someone else. I hope you have forgiven me for that.

Hey, it’s been years, the chapter closed a long time back. You don’t have to feel guilty about anything. So, how is Ravin?

CHAPTER 3

Meeting Aryan after so long made me happy; I forgot the trauma that I was going through for few hours. Meeting him helped. As I took a shower and came out, I heard Ravin pulling his car. All those anxious feeling rushed in at once; there was angst, I needed to calm myself, or I would spill everything like a word vomit to him. So, I rushed into the kitchen to start preparing for dinner.

At dinner, I was trying to look for any change in his behavior, but I couldn’t find anything. He did say he was full, but still, he ate with me as he didn’t want my the food that I prepared with so much love go to waste. He was sweet, the way he always had been, caring, and I could still see that love in his eyes for me. Maybe everything that Neha said was just gossip to create misunderstanding between Ravin and me.

As I was cleaning the table, I heard him going to the bedroom and talk in a hushed tone; I couldn’t help but went close enough to the bedroom door to eavesdrop but hid behind it for him not to see me. All I heard him saying was,

I had a good time today; we should do it again. I’ll pick you up for lunch, okay.

What was he saying? Who was he talking to? My mind began to ask questions that I had no answers to. I rushed back to complete cleaning, I may have been working, but all I could think was that phone call. After cleaning I went in to get his clothes, and when I was out of his sight, I smelled his shirt, and it smelled different, aroma of some kind, it wasn’t his. I could feel it was going out of hand; I needed to know the truth.

I texted him, and this time I intended to tell him the truth about my reason for contacting him.

CHAPTER 4

Now you know, I think he is cheating on me, and I want to know everything. Who is he seeing, who is she, how long this has been going on and is he thinking of leaving me? Because if he is, I will leave him first, I would make his life hell. I don’t have evidence of him cheating on me, so that is what you need to help me with.

Hey, I am so sorry. I wish this all were just some misunderstanding. But if this is true remember, I am always there.

He stood up and came near me and hugged me like he could take away all my pain and misery. I know it was not right to embrace him, but it felt good, for once I could cry my heart out and not be judged for being cheated on. And I cried. I cried like a baby, I felt light and pleasant, and he kept hugging me all the while I was crying.

It was late, I wanted to leave, but he held me like he never wanted to let go of me. I looked at him, told him I should leave, but he insisted I stayed a little longer. He quickly rushed inside and bought out a box; it looked like a jewelry box. He stretched his arms and gave that box, as I opened it I was overwhelmed by what I saw inside.

It was the same ring which he gave me years ago when he said he wanted to marry me, I couldn’t believe my eyes, and he still had that ring. Years ago, I chose Ravin over him, and today too I had to pick my wedding ring over accepting this ring. So, I gave it back to him.

I cannot take this; you know this is not right. Please help me unveil the truth; I would be forever thankful to you.

I am not giving this to you; I am showing it to you. I want you to know there were many women after you left but none of them deserved this ring. Maybe I was never ready to give them; however, it’s different with you. I don’t know what I feel for you, but all I know is that when I see this ring, I see you. I hoped it then that you would accept it, and the desire never changed. Today too, I hope that you would accept it. But, I know the circumstances are not right. But when it changes, and I know that it will, that day I would want you to have it.

I knew if I stayed a little longer, I would end up crying and wearing that ring, so I stood up to leave before it was too late.

CHAPTER 5

I was informed about Ravin’s daily activity, from when he reached office to when he leaves, to whom he meets. I had all the information about everything that he did. Aryan even started to send his pictures with everyone he met. It was clear that he was having an affair with a woman quite older than him. They went out for lunch every day, and he took her out every evening, from restaurants to museums and even theaters. He was spending hours and hours with this woman.

I had enough evidence to confront him; I wanted to slap him and shout at him for destroying our relationship over some cougar old lady. I had enough of his affair, and I wanted out. So, I went to Aryan’s place to take the remaining photographs and also to tell him that I don’t want him to watch over Ravin anymore.

As I reached, Aryan was cooking as he knew I was coming over. It smelled good, I sat and was waiting for him to finish his cooking and sit with me. When he came over, I realized half of what I smelled was food and the other half was him, it seemed he was just out of the shower, his hair was all wet, and the room was filled with the aroma of his shower gel. As I was watching him, I didn’t realize when he leaned so close to me that now the air that I was breathing was covered by his musk. It took me a few moments to realize that he didn’t say a word but just leaned in to kiss me. I never realized but I was aching for this kiss, my body crumbled and my soul was melting with the heat between us. I thought I lost my brain somewhere between his eyes and his creamy lips. I knew, he was reigning over every thought, every feeling that I had. And my heart was beating only to keep me physically alive because he had already killed me from my soul to make it his own. I didn’t realize when that passion that began from lips traveled to my neck to shoulders to my arms and made each part of my body entirely his.

Hours later, I came to my senses and saw myself in his eyes, and I think for the first time in my life I understood what breaking in the arms of a lover meant. And I was broken, completely shattered, I loved the way he made me feel, I was alive, after years of having meaningless sex, I made love to a man I didn’t even know would end up meaning so much to me in such a short span.

He took out that ring again, and he didn’t ask anything this time, I didn’t say anything this time, he took my engagement ring out and replaced it with that ring that he kept safe for so long.

CHAPTER 6

I heard him pulling his car, but I was not anxious anymore, there was no angst in me. I looked at the ring, which should have been in my hand in the first place, but it’s better to be late than never. Somehow, looking at that ring made me calm. I wanted out; I hated this man for ruining our marriage, ruining six years of our love that we had for each other, and that too for an older woman. A woman if allowed a few more years was good enough to be his mother. He chose her over me, so well, I will make his choice much more uncomplicated. I will leave him be.

I kept the envelope with his pictures on the table; I didn’t want the drama to progress without any evidence. It was somewhat unusual for him to take this long after parking; he usually reaches the apartment in five minutes. It was almost fifteen minutes today, and he still hasn’t shown up. Finally, there was knocking on the door. I didn’t latch it so he would take a minute for him to realize it before he pushes it in to enter the room and when he did, I witnessed something different.

Yes, slowly, there you go. So, here we are, this is my humble abode. Welcome to my sweet home.

He looked at me and said, ‘Arshya, this is Mrs. Irani, my school teacher, my mentor, that one person after my parents, without whom I wouldn’t have been the man I am today.’

And as he helped her inside the room, pulled a chair for her to sit, I subtly removed the envelope from the table and hid behind my back and replied with tears in my eyes,

‘Welcome Ma’am.’