On Father's Day: 17.06.2018

The only man who will always hold your hands and will believe in you in your every endeavor.

I have always talked about my mother in my various writings. In fact I started my blog writing about my mother. Fathers always remain the less talked about. Why? I guess because they cannot express themselves. May be because they feel more than mothers do but unfortunately they are not effusive. So on this father’s day I thought of putting down something on paper for him for the first time.

The only man who will bow down for a girl, his daughter.

I do not remember him smile(no one will actually) when I was born but yes, my mother told me he was the happiest. Little did I believe this when I found a diary in his closet. I sneaked into it without his knowledge and I found that he had jotted down every little details he could about me before and after I was born. Every diminutive detail…

He wanted to cling onto his memories of his daughter growing slowly. What can be so enthralling for a daughter… Nothing but this. I sometimes feel that we as their children are quite unfortunate to feel their warmth and love because they show it only when you are learning to sit, walk and run – the period (when you are just a sapling) which you hardly remember as you grow old. As you develop your senses gradually, they withdraw their emotions. I am still waiting for the day when I will get married so that I can catch him weeping. Ha Ha Ha…

You will not believe that I learnt cycling within a week that too without falling for once. But I did fall once after learning because I felt myself as none less than a bike-racer (Ha Ha Ha…). Do you know what this illustrates? This illustrates that your father will never let you get hurt as long as he is present – be it physical or mental. Last year (see I don’t even remember the year)… It was 2016, I was bogged down with grief for a time that I cannot even explain which was all because of my faults though. I did not expect him to be so supportive at that time. I really never felt this much connected before as I felt that day. That day I realised, he feels more than my mother does. That day I realised, he will be always there by my side whatever I do.

I never got thrashed by him except for whenever I committed silly mistakes while solving down questions from maths book thinking of which I now find quite funny enough though. But for this I am grateful, I would have never learnt this subject so well if I have never got beaten up for this. He had put so much effort in my studies, that now when I have grown up and look back I find, that I could not prove myself to him. Anyways it’s better late than never. So, now, I am in a quest to prove myself.

While writing this down I felt that the bond between a daughter and a father is something that you cannot express in words. I had so much more to tell you but ended up writing only a few words. And guess what? He gifted me a frame of me, my sister and he on WhatsApp on this Father’s Day. He never fails to surprise me, you see(Ha Ha Ha…). May be I will be able to make him proud someday. I know he does not long for it because he is always happy with the least he has.