Of Gods And Godkeepers

I often wonder how we attribute various characteristics to our gods. We consider God as the ultimate form of perfection in this otherwise imperfect universe. Since we humans are grossly imperfect in every sense of the term, we look up to the gods to help us to become as practically perfect as possible. A good majority of the population on earth believes in god and what their religion preaches. We throng temples, churches and mosques to pray and ask so many things from our gods. Most of us even fear gods!

But, despite such devotion, why are gods so indifferent about their devotees? I wonder why our gods allow certain avoidable kinds of devotion? The most popular abode of god in our Hindu culture is the temple. Amongst the millions of temples in India, there are a few that stand out and where millions visit every day of the year. The deities in these temples are supposed to possess extraordinary powers, more than what they seem to have at our homes or elsewhere in other temples. We thus have the famed Balaji temple in Tirupati (Andhra Pradesh) which houses Lord Venkateswara in his most powerful form. We have Vaishno devi where Durga is believed to be a powerful force. We have the Kali temple in Kolkata where millions go to have their problems redressed. Shirdi in Maharashtra is famed for the simple saint Sai Baba. These are a few examples; there are many more.

While it is because of die-hard believers and devotees that these temples have become famous, it has been my experience that they do not get the respect and attention they truly deserve. I have visited many such temples and have always come back disappointed and even disgusted.

My family and I have visited the hill-temple in South India a number of times. We have shown a great deal of patience and humility, standing in serpentine queues for hours waiting for our turn. Yet, when we reached the sanctum-sanctorum for darshan, we were rudely spoken to and pushed away by the godkeepers, as if we were disturbing the god! I always found three bouncers guarding the deity. As soon as I approached the deity, the first man would nudge me rudely shouting “keep moving” to the second bouncer, who would then push me towards the third; who would eventually evict me from the presence of my god. All this would happen before you can say “bless me god”. I used to feel cheated that my devotion and belief has not been acknowledged by the god. My prayers, I felt, were lost in the commercial chaos inside the temple. Definitely, it cannot be true that gods get disturbed by devotees? If this were true, I would prefer to sit at home and pray in silence to him.

A very bitter experience awaited us when we visited this famed temple in East of India. We had heard about the powers of this particular idol of the goddess and were eager to pay our respects. As soon as we entered the temple compound, my wife shrieked with fear. She pointed to the drains and I saw blood flowing instead of water. The guide told us that animals were sacrificed here. As we stood in the queue for darshan, our guide nimbly pushed us ahead of waiting devotes and took us nearer to the deity through shortcuts. We could hear waiting devotees shouting and cursing us for jumping the queue! This particular deity is located in what I can term as a pit, for you have to get the darshan from above the idol.

As I passed the idol, a pair of hands grabbed mine urgently, pulling me down. I noticed that the priest below was urging me to jump into the pit and take a closer look at the goddess. Even before I could decide, he had pulled me down. My wife, who was following me in the queue, shouted at me to get her down but before I could do anything, she was pushed out by devotees behind her. I could not even say a prayer to my goddess for I was still reeling with shock and surprise. The priest then pushed me closer to the idol and even asked me to hug the goddess! It all happened fast and before I could return to my senses, the priest was asking me to give him five hundred rupees! I paid him two hundred and escaped. Once we came out, my wife was excited that I could get the opportunity to touch and hug the goddess. It must be some divine grace, she said. I wondered why the goddess chose only me for this special hug? Does she discriminate? I am not a great believer and yet I got the special darshan and thousands of more believing devotees got snubbed and pushed out.

Of all my experience with gods, the one we had at this hill temple of a goddess in North India must rank as one of the most frustrating. No, we did not have to struggle for darshan, the goddess was benevolent and we had our heart’s fill. What disgusted me was the spectacle we witnessed outside. We were not aware that it was ashtami that day, and this was a special day for devotees visiting the goddess. As we stood, drinking water, I heard a commotion where my two daughters were standing. Devotees were mobbing them, trying to give them a plate full of puris,chickpeas and halwa, topped with money. My daughters were struggling to hold on to the ever piling plates and had to drop them to be able to accept more. The mob did not look like ending anytime soon for there was a continuous stream of devotees looking for young and unmarried girls to give prasad. I could see hundreds of plates of puri, chole and halwa scattered all around us. In a country where millions starve to death, this was a ghastly sight. There were urchin beggars who were sifting the abandoned plates to dig out the cash. They were not interested in the prasad. Even birds had stopped taking notice of the abundant food! Thousands of plates of tasty and rich food was going down the drain!

I can hardly blame the devotees for braving every hurdle to repeatedly visit these gods and goddesses. I feel it is the gods and their custodians who are to be blamed. Why are gods so indifferent to such practices, I wonder. I refuse to be convinced by the hundreds of philosophical explanations that people provide in support of these traditions and practices.